Drumpfster Fire

A compilation of Fark threads related to the dumpster fire that will soon be the administration of the 45th President of the United States of America.

=Head Toupee=

Nicknames
''This section will provide the many nicknames this asshole has earned, with credit when known. They are in approximate order of appearance on the internet.

For the full list, please visit this page''


 * 1) short-fingered vulgarian (Spy magazine's Graydon Carter and Kurt Andersen)
 * 2) tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon (@MetalOllie via Twitter)
 * 3) Flim flam fuhrer
 * 4) Deadbeat Donnie
 * 5) President Joffrey
 * 6) Cheeto Supreme
 * 7) fecal fingered Caligula
 * 8) Orange Mugabe
 * 9) Marmalade Mussulini
 * 10) Dynamite Shitgibbon
 * 11) Boss Tweet
 * 12) Trumplethinskin
 * 13) Kim Jong Trump
 * 14) President Asterisk
 * 15) President Daddy
 * 16) Prince Trumperdink (Carey Elwes)
 * 17) President Breaking Wind (Sir Ian McKellen via Twitter)
 * 18) ORALLY INCONTINENT PEDDLER OF FLYBLOWN MONKEY BOLLOCKS
 * 19) hairsprayed huckster
 * 20) Cheeto Guevera
 * 21) our national disgrace
 * 22) President Cheetolicious

Meaningless Displays of Power or Just Plain Evil or Stupid Shit

 * 1) Trump gives all current ambassadors and their families 2 weeks to GTFO
 * 2) WTF: Trump orders the resignation of the commanding officer of the Washington DC National Guard. Holy Shiat: In the middle of the inauguration ceremony
 * 3) Major General Errol Schwartz isn't being fired, he tendered his resignation as is protocol, and the timing is his choice: The Trump administration asked him to stay on a few more days to smooth the transition, and he refused
 * 4) Guess who tweeted that John Lewis is all talk and no action days before Martin Luther King day?
 * 5) Donald Trump's criticism of John Lewis results in tremendous book sales. For Lewis's memoirs
 * 6) It is considered an honor to be invited to Selma with John Lewis; he has taken members of both parties with him over the years. But Lewis said one person he will never ask to join him is Donald Trump
 * 7) Donald Trump has revealed his plans for his first two days in office - To do absolutely nothing
 * 8) In light of his lack of creativity and humanity, Trump will be eliminating the National Endowments for both Art and the Humanities
 * 9) Trump's bizarre Inaugural speechwriting photo: Taken at a Mar-A-Lago concierge's desk, while holding a Sharpie and a blank pad of paper while looking like a petulant child
 * 10) Internet has fun with Trump's inaugural speech writing photo which appears to be Trump posing in front of a pile of blank paper taken at his secretary's desk. It does appear to be the closest that Trump has ever gotten to writing something

January, 2017

 * 1) Executive Orders
 * 2) In his first act as President, Trump cancels planned mortgage insurance rate reduction, costing new FHA homeowners $500/year
 * 3) Meglomania, Jingoism
 * 4) In his second act as President, Trump issues proclamation for a "National Day of Patriotism". No word on if synchronized goose-stepping will be part of the festivities or not
 * 5) Donald Trump has just declared January 20th, 2017 "National Day of Patriotic Devotion". Other possible names include "Trumpoween", "TrumpsGiving" "Trumptoberfest" "Trumpsmas" "Donaldpalooza"
 * 6) Trump tells reporters that he's a "very big person" on the environment and that he has "received awards" on the environment
 * 7) Donald Trump's Patriot Day proclamation proves that he's the Chuck Tingle of Patriot Porn
 * 8) Government Websites
 * 9) One hour after inauguration Whitehouse websites for climate change, discrimination, and civil rights disappear
 * 10) So Team Trump didn't scrub all references to climate change, the Affordable Care Act, and disability rights from the White House website because of their Neanderthal ideology so much as their rank incompetence
 * 11) Spicer says, don't worry, we'll have a separate-but-equal Spanish language Blanco Casa website up soon
 * 12) Petition on Whitehouse.gov calling for Trump to release his tax returns has 250,000 signatures. That means he's got to release them, right?
 * 13) Trump lets those freeloading veterans know they aren't welcome in his swamp
 * 14) Badlands National Park Twitter account goes rogue, starts tweeting scientific facts about climate change in defiance of President Trump
 * 15) ACA
 * 16) If you live in a red state, you may have already lost your health insurance. File a claim and see what happens
 * 17) ACA will be allowed to wither and die much like the Americans that need it
 * 18) Kellyanne Conway says Trump's plan to replace Obamacare involves turn Medicaid into a block grant program that States can run as they see fit. Or, as an"alternative fact", poor people are about to be screwed six ways to Sunday
 * 19) Remember when conservatives were apoplectic over Obama not enforcing the law?
 * 20) Kellyanne Conway says Trump's plan to replace Obamacare involves turn Medicaid into a block grant program that States can run as they see fit. Or, as an"alternative fact", poor people are about to be screwed six ways to Sunday
 * 21) Remember when conservatives were apoplectic over Obama not enforcing the law?
 * 22) The county that had one of the highest percentage of Trump voters is also a county with one of the highest percentage of Obamacare users, but only because "the black bomb" "put a gun to their heads" to buy it
 * 23) Inaugural crowd
 * 24) 'It looked like a million': Trump whines the media is lying that his inauguration crowd was small
 * 25) "The President has a large penis. While there is no way to measure everyone's penis size, the President has the biggest penis in history"
 * 26) 'Baghdad Sean': Internet rips Trump press secretary for lie that inauguration crowd was 'largest ever'
 * 27) Fox News says Trump and Spicer are wrong about inauguration crowd size. FOX NEWS. But some guy lied about the removal of the MLK bust, so there
 * 28) The New York Times plays with the idea of showing it has a spine
 * 29) The new rhetorical frame for all the lies we're going to be subjected to by the White House is "alternative facts." Bonus quote: "There's no way to really quantify crowds" because apparently Kellyanne Conway has never heard of numbers
 * 30) Secret Service slaps down White House claim that 'magnetometers' shrank inaugural crowd size
 * 31) 1. Argue with media over crowd size 2. Double down when shown facts 3. ???? 4. Hang inauguration photo in the press hall
 * 32) CIA Address
 * 33) And NPR's balls grew three sizes that day
 * 34) Former CIA director can't believe what a childish speech Trump gave in front of the CIA. Guess he hadn't been watching Trump for the last year or so
 * 35) Transcript of Trump's speech to the CIA. Don't miss the scariest part: In Trump's mind, the law enforcement, military, and intelligence communities are all the same thing
 * 36) Remember the cheering CIA agents at Trump's speech? Turns out they're as authentic as the 'fans' who jump into the ring to answer wrestlers' challenges on WWE Raw
 * 37) Remember the cheering CIA agents at Trump's speech? Turns out they're as authentic as the 'fans' who jump into the ring to answer wrestlers' challenges on WWE Raw
 * 38) About that CIA standing ovation
 * 39) Protesters at Inaugural
 * 40) Most of the 230 rioters arrested in Washington D.C. following Donald Trump's inauguration will be charged with felony rioting, which carries a punishment of up to 10 years in jail and $25k fine
 * 41) Inaugural Cake
 * 42) Cakeghazi
 * 43) The cake was not only plagiarism, it was also a lie
 * 44) "Cost cutting" measures
 * 45) Federal Hiring Freeze in play
 * 46) Trans-Pacific Partnership withdrawal to be President Trump's first executive action Monday. Right after he mocks some libs on Twitter of course
 * 47) You may want to sit down for this, but apparently Trump's cunning plan to back out of TPP may not kill it, but it will definitely ensure America doesn't even get a voice at the table
 * 48) Federal Hiring Freeze in play
 * 49) Trans-Pacific Partnership withdrawal to be President Trump's first executive action Monday. Right after he mocks some libs on Twitter of course
 * 50) CDC Vaccinates Itself
 * 51) Fiddling with regulations
 * 52) Trump says he's getting ready to cut 75% of government regulations, maybe more
 * 53) Since Trump doesn't believe in climate change, he's gone and frozen EPA funding
 * 54) Trump makes good his promise to the spacing guild. The Oil must flow
 * 55) Trump plans to begin laying pipe as soon as possible
 * 56) Under the new administration, all USDA findings must not reported to the public until further notice. Tweets included
 * 57) Gagging government employees
 * 58) EPA employees banned from social media, talking to the press. Yeah, like the press won't catch wind of this
 * 59) Fiddling with foreign relations
 * 60) Trump to impose "very major border tax." Or if you prefer the alternative spelling, "recession"
 * 61) You may want to sit down for this, but apparently Trump's cunning plan to back out of TPP may not kill it, but it will definitely ensure America doesn't even get a voice at the table
 * 62) Trump to impose "very major border tax." Or if you prefer the alternative spelling, "recession"
 * 63) Trump 2016: Evil Hillary's going to sell arms to the Saudis and the Kuwaitis. Trump 2017: His State Department approves $1.8B sale of arms to Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and others

Avoiding Release Of

 * 1) Kellyanne Conway states Trump will release his taxes after previously stating he will not release his taxes, in stunning display of Alternative Tax Facts

Leaks

 * 1) "We are three days into the administration and the Trump White House leaks not so much like a sieve as a bucket with no bottom"

Possible Russian Interference Of 2016 POTUS Election

 * 1) FBI and 5 other agencies investigating possible financial support from Kremlin to the Trump Campaign. *rubs hands together* ...It begins
 * 2) While Trump is busy at the inauguration ceremony, US Intelligence officials will be analyzing intercepted communications and financial transactions between Russian officials and the Trump campaign

Crimes
This section will include all Fark threads related to crimes committed by the Head Toupee
 * 1) If you had 'Second Day' in your office pool for 'How long into his presidency before Trump violates Presidential Records Act,' step up and claim your prize

Conflicts of Interest
This section will include all Fark threads related to conflicts of interest this asshole has himself entangled in
 * 1) NYT publishes damning look at Trump's conflicts of interest. Trump: "Hey, everyone, look over here at my batshiat insane recount tweets until this blows over"
 * 2) The ACLU is the first out of the gate to tilt at the windmills
 * 3) Redesigned White House website plugs Melania Trump's QVC jewelry line (Not safe for work images in comment section below article)
 * 4) Trump already setting records as President, with two ethics violation complaints filed against him within his first six hours
 * 5) Wikileaks now offering to post Trump's tax returns
 * 6) Trump will continue to not release his tax returns because he never said he would release his taxes. These are the alternative facts as presented by George Orwell's Kellyanne Conway
 * 7) It's not illegal for Donald Trump to hire his son-in-law as an advisor because reasons

Lawsuits
This section will include all Fark threads related to lawsuits filed against the Head Toupee


 * 1) Remember during the Clinton years when conservatives fought an won a long legal battle arguing that the President is not immune from responding to lawsuits while in office? They are about to REALLY regret that
 * 2) January 23, 2017; Trump sued over violating the emoluments clause
 * 3) How can you tell when the Donald and his Chief of Staff are Lying? They make a face made famous by Newt Gingrich when he was Lying his ass off, and being called on it
 * 4) Shocking news to liberals: Owning a profitable business that does business world-wide does not constitute an emolument. Just ask the first five presidents, who owned farms and plantations
 * 5) Trump held a press conference to say he was divesting from his businesses, but nobody ever got around to telling the ethics office that

=Administration= This section will provide the names and eventual scandals/crimes associated with these assholes

"Vice" President Mike Pence

 * 1) It is not Donald Trump we should fear; it is the radical crusader Mike Pence, whose anti-LGBT beliefs and history of misogyny are highlighted by gross incompetence

Supreme Court Nominees

 * 1) Let's look at Trump's Supreme Court nominations, which is a lot like looking right into the Ark of the Covenant
 * 2) Place your bets on Trump's Supreme Court nominee, winners will be paid Tuesday

Sean Spicer
White House Press Secretary
 * (first official press conference January 21, 2017) "The President has a large penis. While there is no way to measure everyone's penis size, the President has the biggest penis in history"
 * White House press secretary and Alternative Facts spokesperson is a Cosplay fan. Admit it, you want to see him as Pinkie Pie
 * Spicer says, don't worry, we'll have a separate-but-equal Spanish language Blanco Casa website up soon
 * Bullshiat Spice might soon find himself alternate-employed after a week on the job

Kellyanne Conway
Counselor to the President
 * You know you've really messed up when Merriam-Webster takes the time to call out your "alternative facts"
 * Kellyanne Conway has her own Secret Service detail because she says thanks to the liberal media, she's started receiving death threats. Or maybe she started receiving fashion advice; either way, we're paying for her protection
 * Networks debate whether or not they should continue interviewing emaciated ghoul and bullshiat fountain Kellyanne Conway
 * Looks like more than one alt-right person was punched this weekend. Difficulty: Kellyanne Conway was the puncher

Reed Corish
assistant to the president for intergovernmental and technology initiatives
 * 1) Trump's latest adviser being sued for simply trying to "lighten up" the club scene

John Gore
Attorney General for Civil Rights
 * 1) Trump selects next head of DOJ Civil Rights Division - the guy who *defended* North Carolina's "bathroom bill"

Julia Hahn
special assistant to the president
 * Trump hires Breitbart writer to make alternative facts great again

Michael Flynn
National Security Adviser
 * Michael Flynn's extensive Russia ties are under investigation

Puzder, Labor Nominee

 * 1) The Carl's Jr./Hardees CEO, and Trump's Secretary of Labor nominee, just wants to make life for fast food employees better by eliminating things like minimum wage, breaks and working extra hours without pay

Price, Health and Human Services Nominee

 * 1) Trump's pick to lead the HHS department invested in a drug company, then introduced a bill a week later to help that same company

Pruitt, Environmental Protection Agency Nominee

 * 1) Professional Swamp Drainer Donald Trump now facing a reality where his EPA selection was just implicated in a Super PAC scandal
 * 2) Trump EPA pick would hold off on deciding to recuse himself from lawsuits until after he's had a chance to clear out the in-house ethics agency