ALECworks/Archive/2017/March 2017

General ALECrap

 * 1) Want to know a potential reason why your state reps are susceptible to lobbying? It could be that some are making less than 30K a year

=Possible ALECrap by state=

Alabama Department of Corrections

 * 1) In Alabama the state prison system is at approximately 180 percent of capacity, the number of correctional officers required is dangerously low, and the fire alarms don't properly work

Alabama state Legislature

 * 1) Let this sink in for a second: ALABAMA lawmakers may be showing more of a commitment to ethics and good government than the United States Congress right now, as the GOP-dominated legislature meets to discuss impeaching their Republican governor

Arizona state Legislature

 * 1) They'd have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids and their dumb watchdog. SCOOBY DOOBY DOO

Joe Arpaio
former Maricopa County Sheriff
 * 1) Congratulations, Arizona citizens: you voted out Sheriff Joe last November, but you will be paying approximately $108 MEEEELLIONNNNN dollars this year to pay for his legal fees / lawsuit settlements

Arkansas state House

 * 1) Bill just filed in the Arkansas State House, would "allow public school teachers to teach creationism and intelligent design as theories" alongside actual science. Surely, no one will notice this time

Governor Asa Hutchinson (R AR)

 * 1) Arkansas Governor signed a bill allowing people with CCW licenses to carry guns "at state colleges, some bars, government buildings and even the state Capitol." Said Governor Hutchinson at the signing: Yeee-HAW *blam* *blam*

Mayor Gary Soiseth (?, Turlock, CA)
party affiliation unknown

Steve Curtix
former chair, Colorado Republican Party
 * 1) Trump was right, there was fraud during the election as chairman of major party in Colorado is charged with voter fraud and forgery during the 2016 election. Oh wait, he was the GOP chairman? Never mind then

Florida state legislature

 * 1) Want to kill someone? Do it in Florida, where it's basically legal now
 * 2) Florida GOP finds novel way to solve invasive python problem: cut food stamps to 200,000 people and they'll be desperate enough to eat the snakes
 * 3) One state prepares to make Stand Your Ground laws even worse for anyone who isn't an NRA member

Governor Rick Scott (R FL)

 * 1) Rick Scott fires prosecutor for getting uppity

Aramis D. Ayala
Florida state attorney
 * 1) Rick Scott fires prosecutor for getting uppity

Corry Bliss
executive director, Georgia Republican Congressional Leadership Fund
 * 1) New Rpublican ad attacks Democratic congressional candidate for... dressing up as Han Solo in college?

Rep. Beth Fukumoto (I, HI, 36th)
Hawaii state House minority leader

Indiana state Legislature

 * 1) Indiana doesn't care what medical science says, the LAW says you can reverse an abortion. Now put it back in

state Senator Mark Chelgren (R, IA, 41st)

 * 1) Republican Sen. from Iowa claims a business degree from Forbco Mgt. School. WTF is Forbco U. you might ask? Spokesman for the State Republican party says it's the Sizzler steakhouse version of a certificate from Hamburger U. at McDonalds
 * 2) Iowa politician with degree from Sizzler University denies he "mischaracterized" his background as he continues efforts to undermine state universities

Governor Sam Brownback (R KS)

 * 1) Brownback catches last chopper outta Saigon...er....Kansas

state Senator Steve Fitzgerald (R, KS, 5th)

 * 1) Stupid: Man compares Planned Parenthood to Nazi concentration camp after someone makes a donation in his name. FARK: Kansas State Senator Steve Fitzgerald (R)

Kansas state legislature

 * 1) The Great Pumpkin is already on the cusp of defeating his first theocratic dictatorship, currently in negotiations to remove head of state of Brownbackistan
 * 1) The Great Pumpkin is already on the cusp of defeating his first theocratic dictatorship, currently in negotiations to remove head of state of Brownbackistan

Kansas state Supreme Court

 * 1) Supreme Court of Kansas orders school funding hike, as voters wonder if there is something... anything at all, that lies within their power to bring about some kind of change to the government which so consistently fails to represent them

former governor Steve Beshear (R KY)

 * 1) Apparently not having learned their lesson from the past election, Democrats pick the most underwhelming candidate they could find to deliver the Democratic response to Trump. How underwhelming? Even Rachel Maddow panned him as small and stunty

Rep. Larry Lockman (R, ME 137th)

 * 1) Maybe legislator introduces bill that would make it illegal to point out how stupid climate change deniers are

Governor Charlie Baker (R MA)

 * 1) Governor sees Trump's attempt to f*ck over Planned Parenthood and promises to keep funding them even if the Feds pull out, no strings attached. Oh, and the governor is a Republican

state water officials for Michigan

 * 1) Flint residents must start paying for water they still can't drink without a filter, because fark you, that's why

Governor Eric Greitens (R MO)

 * 1) MO Gov. Eric Greitens is so committed to ethics reform, he personally setup a "non-profit" group to push agendas that he sets, and funded by dark money that only he knows about

state Rep. Randy Brodehl (R, MT, 9th)

 * 1) Republicans in the Montana legislature introduce a revenge bill to completely defund county attorneys. Can we have a "WTF" tag now?

Sharron Angle
TeaParty trainwreck
 * 1) All aboard...... Hahaha...... [Instrumental... I, I, I, I... [fade] [Instrumental] ]

Governor Chris Christie (R NJ)

 * 1) Media reports that Trump is meeting with former rivals in a "charm offensive." Minus the charm
 * 2) Gov. Chris Christie victim blames all the recently fired U.S. attorneys. "They received notice that they were leaving office. That notice was given to them by the people of the country on November 8, when they elected a Republican president"

Bridget Kelly
former deputy chief of staff for NJ Governor Chris Christie

Bill Baroni
former Christie appointee to The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey

Ann Pfoser Darby
Queens' Community Board 4's transportation committee member
 * 1) Community Board member promises that NYC won't need bike lanes once all the immigrants are deported

Governor Andrew Cuomo (D NY)

 * 1) New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has hired two Florida fundraisers. Nudge nudge, wink wink

Mayor Bill de Blasio (D, New York City)

 * 1) Preet-less prosecutors decline to charge DeBlasio with campaign-finance corruption. Thanks, Trump

state Senator Phil Berger (R, NC, 26th)

 * 1) The manager of NC State Senator Phil Berger's Facebook page used 1 weird trick to spoof news articles written about NC governor Roy Cooper, violating Facebook policy. Berger's spokesperson immediately claims Facebook is wrong

North Carolina state House

 * 1) NC GOP House: You know, not a single NCAA tournament game will be played in our beautiful state this year. That's why we are repealing the latest HB2 repeal effort

North Carolina legislature

 * 1) NC Supreme Court to Republicans: Yeah, I don't think that power grab you tried after McCrory lost is going to work for us

North Carolina
''the state or just the bathrooms? Yes.''
 * 1) South Carolina profits off of North Carolina's bathroom bill

North Carolina state Supreme Court

 * 1) NC Supreme Court to Republicans: Yeah, I don't think that power grab you tried after McCrory lost is going to work for us

state Rep. Wes Retherford (R, OH, 51st)

 * 1) That Ohio state rep with the DUI arrest? Yeah, he was ordered by the speaker to remove a liquor cabinet from his office back in 2015

Governor John Kasich (R OH)

 * 1) Media reports that Trump is meeting with former rivals in a "charm offensive." Minus the charm

the state of Ohio
is for animal lovers
 * 1) Change your travel plans: sex with animals illegal in Ohio starting today

state Rep. John Bennett (R, OK, 1st)

 * 1) If you are a Muslim teen in Oklahoma you must answer a survey before meeting this representative

state Senator Ralph Shortey (R, OK, 44th)

 * 1) Oklahoman state senator has apparently chosen "live boy" off the scandal menu
 * 2) The Oklahoma state senator who was caught in a motel room with an underage boy was also a Trump campaign chair
 * 3) Actual headline: Oklahoma law allows Sen. Ralph Shortey to keep his state retirement even if convicted of prostitution with a minor

certain Oklahoma state legislators

 * 1) They say a lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math, and that includes state legislators who screw up their budget and misuse funding, right Oklahoma?

state Rep. Rick Saccone (R, PA, 39th)

 * 1) Why does 'god' need a starship? er...senate seat?

Rhode Island state House

 * 1) Lawmaker complains of 'file cabinets full of booze' at the Rhode Island State House. In other news, we've discovered where Fark's backup servers are located

South Carolina
''the state or just the bathrooms? Yes.''
 * 1) South Carolina profits off of North Carolina's bathroom bill

Governor Dennis Daugaard (R SD)

 * 1) SD governor signs bill forbidding LGBT couples from adopting if the adoption agency's religious beliefs go against having gay couples as parents. In other news, more SD children to be sent to orphanages, which would obviously be better for them

state Senator Joey Hensley (R, TN, 28th)

 * 1) Uber-Christian TN lawmaker who sponsored "Don't Say Gay" bill, has been doing the satanic shuffle with a married woman, who just so happens to also be his cousin

Texas GOP

 * 1) Texas GOP message of the day: gay people only have rights when Democrats are in charge

the state of Texas

 * 1) As their Obamacare replacement cuts off funds for Planned Parenthood, Republicans want to reassure women that other clinics will step up to provide their low-cost breast exams, contraception and cancer screenings. Let's see how that worked in TX

Texas state Senate

 * 1) Texas passes bill allows doctors to withhold information from pregnant women about detected birth defects like Down's Syndrome, Republicanism, Cowboys fandom

state Rep. Joe Straus (R, TX 121st)
Texas House Speaker

Mitt Romney
Once and Future Governor

Nathan Daniel Larson
ex-felon, independent candidate Virginia House of Delegates
 * 1) Virginia man who spent sixteen months in jail for threatening to kill President Obama and who believes women should be denied the right to vote decides to run for political office

Bob Ferguson
attorney general, Washington state
 * 1) Ferguson vs Trump. Round 2, FIGHT

West Virginia state Senate

 * 1) To prepare for the resurgence in coal jobs that Trump has promised, West Virginia Senate proposes eliminating nearly all mine safety regulations

Wisconsin election officials

 * 1) News: Wisconsin election officials announce that they found evidence of election fraud. Fark: During Democratic Primary. Ultra fark: Blame Bernie Sanders for tweeting that 17 yr olds could vote, and these managed to do so despite law. Bernie won

Governor Scott Walker (R WI)

 * 1) Media reports that Trump is meeting with former rivals in a "charm offensive." Minus the charm