I Love The Poorly Educated/Archive/2017/March 2017

This page is a compilation of Fark threads providing only the most real news about the 45th President of the United States of America.

This is an archive of I Love The Poorly Educated Fark threads for the month of March, 2017 Click this link for the current month, or here for the rest of the archive.


 * "I love the poorly educated!"
 * -Donald J. Trump, February 24, 2016, Las Vegas, Nevada

MAIN SECTION

 * 1) With a coherent speech for once, Donald Trump may have just had his Bar Mitzvah moment
 * 2) The advantage to finally acting sane is that people give you props for that
 * 3) Blaming the Klan on modern Democrats is like blaming the Unabomber on the Montana Territory, which I do so nyeh
 * 4) "I am a passionate believer in integrating and interpreting nature's elements into our daily lives" Did Melania just come out as a Wiccan?
 * 5) The most Fark ready headline that has ever been Fark ready: "Goddamn it, Alex Jones has taken his shirt off again" (WARNING: Alex Jones is shirtless in TFA) (a lot)
 * 6) Legal analysts agree that the likely reason SEC-filed charges were dismissed vs. Texas AG Paxton is because he's a Republican
 * 7) ObamaCare's sudden popularity is a myth - Just 22% of actual enrollees like their ObamaCare plans
 * 8) Democrats: It's bad for Trump's people to meet Russians. Also Democrats: Sure, the Russian Ambassador can visit the Obama White House 22 times
 * 9) Liberal Muslim Female Reporter goes to a college to explain to students why she voted for Trump and supports him
 * 10) In a great confluence of political cross currents of nothingberger, the story that DWS failed to recognize SEAL's widow turns out to be fake, or was it?
 * 11) After every Trump revelation, the following 13 step formula is followed, rinsed and repeated
 * 12) You know you're a lonely person when you find yourself taking a life-sized cardboard cutout of President Trump on camping trips, boat rides, and a country music festival
 * 13) Fox News won't fact check The Big Cheeto's claim about Obama wiretapping him, but they will "fact check" Obama's denial of it. Bonus: There wasn't any fact checking, it was someone's opinion
 * 14) Today is the day that Trump supporters will show their strength in March 4 Trump rallies all across the country. Already tens of Trump supporters have shown up at the National Mall
 * 15) Lots of people showed up for "March 4 Trump" rallies across the country, if you count maybe 150 people total as a lot of people
 * 16) White House press release contains a paragraph copied verbatim from an Exxon press release. If everything in The Swamp™ is killed by an oil spill, maybe that still counts?
 * 17) The serious case for Oprah 2020
 * 18) Mark Levin: "There is overwhelming evidence the Obama administration wiretapped Trump before Trump was sworn in as president, and Democrats are trying to cover that up" Press: "What evidence?" Mark Levin: "OVERWHELMING evidence"
 * 19) Among a group of die-hard Trump supporters who were key to getting him elected "The ..delight... that greeted Donald Trump's victory on November 8 has gradually melted into a mixture of confusion and frustration"
 * 20) Lots of people showed up for "March 4 Trump" rallies across the country, if you count maybe 150 people total as a lot of people
 * 21) Trump's new strategy is to make up a conspiracy to deflect from the seriousness of the Russia ties. Yeah, we've been over this, CNN; you're late to the party
 * 22) Old people back racist party. This is not a repeat of the last 203,324 this has happened
 * 23) Thanks to Trump's war against immigrants and Obamacare, a lot of poor white trash in red states are going to die horrible, painful deaths from preventable illnesses
 * 24) Trump has 26 million Twitter followers but is only following 43 people and businesses. And most of those businesses are his own
 * 25) Midwesterners made Trump the President, now they want him to invent a new reality where automation never happened so they can have a $14/hr job soldering the same wire onto the same contact 3,000 times a day. You know, the American Dream™
 * 26) May we present: Trump's proof of the wire tapp. And you know he'd tapp that
 * 27) Ben Carson: Slaves were immigrants who dreamed of a better life
 * 28) There weren't any MFing immigrants on the MFing slave ships
 * 29) For a renowned surgeon, Ben Carson sure can't surgically remove that foot from his mouth
 * 30) Russian hacking of the DNC is a problem, not a scandal. The scandal is this: Who inside the government of the United States is trying to discredit, damage or destroy the President of the United States?
 * 31) Thanks to Trump's war against immigrants and Obamacare, a lot of poor white trash in red states are going to die horrible, painful deaths from preventable illnesses
 * 32) We're paying for this new travel ban by cutting coastal and air security. I'm sure this makes sense to someone, but that someone shouldn't be anywhere near the reins of power
 * 33) By acting like a paranoid crybaby, Donald Trump has inadvertently destroyed the narrative that Russia hacked our presidential election
 * 34) "It doesn't get any better than this," says quivering mound of hate jello Pat Buchanan, who gleefully revels in Donald Trump's reshaping of the Republican party
 * 35) Why Democrats will eventually come to love Obamacare Lite
 * 36) The latest conspiracy theory from fringe alt-right radio shock jocks? Obama holdovers in government are "committing treason" against Trump to cover up their crimes
 * 37) That time when candidate Trump met with the Russian Ambassador and then lied about it
 * 38) 8 tricks for defending Trump on the left. More tricks on the right
 * 39) Apparently Republicans have become Russia's b*tches
 * 40) Trump surprises kids on White House tour because everyone thought he was at Mar-a-Lago again
 * 41) Now that President Trump has figured out this White House gig his approval ratings have started to climb
 * 42) Animated graph shows how politically polarized the US has become over the last 20 years
 * 43) Fast For Trump
 * 44) Witchcraft, which isn't a real religion and isn't working, is apparently working and the cause of all trump's problems. No this is not a repeat from 1693
 * 45) But all of that aside, 'satanic child murdering cabal' sounds like an awesome name for a punk rock band
 * 46) "She and her husband voted for Mr. Trump...because 'I thought he would make it better'"
 * 47) Obama is "engaging with domestic terrorists" to take down Trump. Wait, domestic terrorists typically support Trump
 * 48) Privacy, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing. GOP wants to do away with FCC's entire privacy rulemaking to allow ISPs to sell your entire browsing history to advertisers or other third parties without your consent
 * 49) Trump tries, fails to be Presidential. This is not a repeat from every hour of every day for the past 47 days
 * 50) GOP lawmakers are about to pass two laws that would make it nearly impossible to sue corporations
 * 51) White House claims that Trump's allegations that Obama tapped his phones is evidence of wrongdoing even if it turns out to be false
 * 52) World's Greatest Healthcare Plan of 2017. No, really, that`s what it's actually called
 * 53) How Russia weaponizes fake news. And no, it doesn't involve dropping Steve Bannon on you from a MiG-29
 * 54) House judiciary Republicans ask for FBI briefing on Trump's wiretapping claims, moon landing from 1969, and whereabouts of the Tooth Fairy
 * 55) Something is straining the relationship between President Trump and President Obama. They used to be BFFs; I'm not sure what happened
 * 56) Gothamist is bought by a right-wing billionaire and by some weird coincidence, Gothamist's negative coverage of the aforementioned right-wing billionaire disappears from the site
 * 57) Coal Rollers: Boys will be boys or boy what a bunch of dirt bags?
 * 58) What has gotten into the Democrats? Why are they so bellicose toward Moscow?
 * 59) Fox News: Very concerned for your privacy. Well not necessarily yours, but someone's
 * 60) So, has anyone else noticed that the handicapping of the State Department that President Trump has engaged in, benefits Russia and Putin tremendously?
 * 61) EPA chief Scott Pruitt says carbon dioxide is not a primary contributor to global warming. That is all
 * 62) Media reports that Trump is meeting with former rivals in a "charm offensive." Minus the charm
 * 63) AG Sessions: "Khorosho, ya sdelayu vse, chto vozmozhno, chtoby vosstanovit' nezavisimost' i professionalizm Ministerstva yustitsii"
 * 64) President Trump nominated for Nobel Peace Prize. He's only been in office a month so the odds are against him, like our president has ever been daunted by the odds
 * 65) The bar has now been set for "stupidest thing said during the Obamacare repeal debate". " Rep Jason Smith (Slow-MO) decrying Obamacare's tax on tanning beds, If Democrats are concerned about dskin cancer "Why haven't they put a tax on the sun instead?"
 * 66) Grandpa Munster says the Trumps were "gracious and warm" during dinner at the White House and everything was fine, just fine, and there is no reason to suspect otherwise
 * 67) New York Times wants you to forget one of their narratives. Forget, forget, deep breath now, forget. Please standby to naively accept the next installment
 * 68) Trump claims that he has never met a man who paid him $95 million. Which I totally understand, I've never met a man who'd pay me $95 million either
 * 69) Mosque muting bill in Israel gets-- ترتفع للصلاة. I said, Mosque muting bill in Israel gets--ترتفع للصلاة Oh, never mind
 * 70) Rand Paul introduces simple bill to full repeal Obamacare titled "Popcorn Dot Gif Act of 2017"
 * 71) Rand Paul introduces simple bill to full repeal Obamacare titled "Popcorn Dot Gif Act of 2017"
 * 72) Study shows that conservatives are less likely to be Canadian than liberals
 * 73) Paul Ryan: The "fatal conceit" of Obamacare is that HEALTHY people with insurance subsidize SICK people's health costs
 * 74) Man: "I've yet to read anything positive about this healthcare bill". Woman: "Try going 2 a conservative source and open up your reading habits". Man: "I'm the editor of National Review Online"
 * 75) "Is Trump throwing Ukraine to the Kremlin sharks?" asks man who just woke up from a coma that began in 2015
 * 76) Russian spies offer to help tech companies overcome American spies
 * 77) Congress votes to repeal rules that would hold school systems accountable for student performance, because that would REALLY fark up Betsy Devos' plan to outsource the public school system to Bob's Bait Shop and Institute of Jesusological studies
 * 78) White House finally responds to growing questions about Wikileaks CIA dump, Trump's wiretap accusation and connections to Russia...by canceling all press events
 * 79) "Since the invention of the mythic welfare queen in the 1960s, this has been the story we most reliably tell about why people are poor. Never mind that research from across the social sciences shows us, over and again, that it's a lie"
 * 80) All Things Considered tracked down a fake news site who wrote such headlines as "Chris Christie nominated to Supreme Food Court." and "Sarah Palin Banning Muslims from Entering Bristol Palin." Yes, he's a liberal
 * 81) Cancer patient calls bullshiat on Samantha Bee's 'half-apology'
 * 82) New poll suggests the Democratic Party is less popular than Trump and Pence. Dealer showing 10, DNC seen doubling down
 * 83) Since Donald Trump is having such a hard time with his Russian ties, Russia Today figured it was the perfect time to revisit President Obama's birth certificate
 * 84) Where has the color purple gone in American politics? That's right, in the color dumpster of opposition
 * 85) The purge continues: On a Friday afternoon, Sessions asks for resignation of 46 U.S. attorneys
 * 86) Friday massacre, as Trump abruptly orders 46 Obama era prosecutors to resign, including the US Attorney in Manhattan who handles public corruption cases
 * 87) While you libs are getting your panties in a wad, real Americans like xenophobes, Pizza-gaters, and middle-school Aryans are rallying for our president and calling for liberal genocide
 * 88) The buck stops at General Votel
 * 89) House okays using taxpayer money for Islamic schools
 * 90) Johnny Smith apprehended; President Stillson safe
 * 91) Do you even left, bro?
 * 92) Comey: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Privacy? What the hell is that?
 * 93) WH: It's fine, just fine, nothing to see here. There are no investigations targeting the President, and if there were, we cannot comment on on-going investigations anyway. So there. Nailed it
 * 94) Science. Huh. Good God, y'all. What is it good for? Absolutely nothin'. Love, Scott Pruitt
 * 95) Another lesson about elections and consequences, courtesy of former Appalachian coal miners
 * 96) Trump's 'security nightmare' trips to Mar-a-Lago provide a bounty of opportunities for hostile spies
 * 97) GOP wants you to know that Keith Hall is a liberal hack who isn't fit to be CBO director
 * 98) Trump supporters protest... Anti-Nazi Resistance Radio commercial for "The Man in the High Castle". Yes, Really
 * 99) 'Didn't you used to be a girl?': Chaz Bono faces deluge of online hate after Hannity Twitter spat
 * 100) Milo Yiannopoulos sticks his foot in his mouth again, for dehumanizing vulnerable people with cruel comments.....again
 * 101) Top level Publican fixer, Roger Stone, only had "banal" chats with Guccifer 2.0, the Russian hacker elite. They discussed the weather and Knicks prospects. Yeah, and Subby is just using the giggity tag because there is no Patriot tag
 * 102) Trump administration makes up an accusation against Obama with zero proof offered. Shockingly, this is not a repeat of the last 20,343 times this has happened
 * 103) All power to deflector shields
 * 104) Human-pug hybrid Kellyanne Conway pulls another alternative fact out of her rectum, says the Trump campaign was monitored in other ways
 * 105) Small appliance expert Kellyanne Conway says she's not sure what was used to spy on Trump campaign, because she's "not inspector Gadget." Yes, that was a quote
 * 106) Steve King thinks he would look real snazzy in a Nazi uniform
 * 107) Trump voters to be hardest hit by Trump's health care plan. Clinton voters still set to suffer debilitating cases of schadenfreude
 * 108) Even Breitbart thinks that Tom Price's comments that "everyone will be covered" under Trumpscare was the lie of the year
 * 109) Donald Trump will host China's president at Mar-A-Lago because why not waste more taxpayer dollars
 * 110) Spicer Says: Trump wants the White House Press pool to decide where he donates his salary. I'm pretty sure they all read Fark so let's give them some suggestions
 * 111) Trump: "My new and improved travel ban is flawless, see you in court liberotardos" Lawyers and judges: "You are really bad at this"
 * 112) What's that, oh it's nothing, just Jared Kushner's family making $400 million because a huge Chinese company is buying one of their buildings at a wildly inflated price on terms ridiculously favorable to the Kushners, nothing to see here, move along
 * 113) CBO estimates 14 million people losing health insurance if American Health Act is passed
 * 114) CBO projects iPhone sales to drop by 14M in 2018, accelerate to over 24 million by 2026
 * 115) NBC Reporter: "Can we trust that what the President says is real?" Bullshiat Spice: "If he's not joking, of course"
 * 116) WTF in Chief Donald Trump warns republicans that by repealing Obamacare they are "putting themselves in a very bad position"
 * 117) Refined Gentleman that he is, President Trump lets it be known via the Twitter machine that he is distempered, nay, downright appalled, at the rudeness and lack of civility the uncouth media is displaying towards his designated liars
 * 118) SHOCKING CONFESSION: In his own words, Obama admits to wiretapping Trump
 * 119) Prominent evangelical pastor with an actual moral compass is opposed to Trump and the preachers who worship him, so naturally he's about to get kicked out of his leadership postion
 * 120) Trump unfollows his Morning Joe besties who helped get him elected. Sad
 * 121) The fact that the Top Republican on the House Intelligence Committee which has been charged with looking into Russia's interference in the election was also a member of Trump's transition team should in no way cast doubt on the panel's work
 * 122) Ivanka celebrates holiday where Jews hung liar who tried to have them killed. Steve Bannon said to be uncomfortable with the idea
 * 123) Gov. Chris Christie victim blames all the recently fired U.S. attorneys. "They received notice that they were leaving office. That notice was given to them by the people of the country on November 8, when they elected a Republican president"
 * 124) Newt licks himself some Trump butt. Mmm, that's good Trump butt
 * 125) Breitbart begins sharpening some very long knives
 * 126) Microwave catches Paul Ryan throwing Trump under the bus
 * 127) Trump White House on CBO report on Trumpcare: unbelievable, fake news. Our own analysis shows that by 2026 twice as many Americans will lose health insurance as the CBO report. So there
 * 128) Rex Tillerson may not be a firm believer in Climate Change, but his intra-company alias Wayne Tracker believed that it was about to get hot enough to pop popcorn on the sidewalk
 * 129) Stupid: Man compares Planned Parenthood to Nazi concentration camp after someone makes a donation in his name. FARK: Kansas State Senator Steve Fitzgerald (R)
 * 130) Welcome to Politics 2017 - The Year of the Walk Back
 * 131) Beyond outright incompetence - Donald Trump has a plan? CNN thinks so. Maybe it is stored right next to his Healthcare plan, China plan, and Defeat ISIS plan
 * 132) Trump tweets snowstorm warning from the agency whose budget he's planning to slash
 * 133) Thanks to Trump, the CIA can conduct drone strikes in secret
 * 134) FTFA: In what can be described as journalistic malpractice and a gross dereliction of duty, the alt-left radical propaganda press continues to insist there is some nefarious connection between President Trump and Moscow. Evidence? They don't need any
 * 135) Trump voter logic: "It pisses me off, but my wife pisses me off too"
 * 136) EPA head: Meh, what's a little chemical spill between friends?
 * 137) Obviously, the reason no one can find any evidence that Obama ordered Trump wiretapped is because he asked James Bond to do it
 * 138) If you hated Obamacare because your premiums went up too much, just wait until you try the new and improved 750% hike in Trumpcare
 * 139) Ex NC Governor Pat McCrory: Some people won't hire me just because I spearheaded blatantly discriminatory legislation that damaged the reputation of my state and incompetently managed the fallout. Can you imagine the nerve?
 * 140) Another day, another GOP survey. You would think that if they wanted to get feedback from voters, they would hold townhalls or something
 * 141) Trump signs executive order asking every department "just what do they do around here?"
 * 142) Republicans tell Steve King that he's being a little too obvious with the dog megaphone
 * 143) Donald Trump just became Hillary Clinton's email ally
 * 144) Clammy porcelain Republican kingmaker Matt Drudge says he now wants his vote back because Republicans haven't abolished the concept of taxes yet
 * 145) Democrats paralyzed as Gorsuch skates. To be fair, his Biellmann spin and stag jump combo earned him a 10.0 from the Ecuadorian judges
 * 146) President Trump: brought to you by the same people who unleashed knock-off fart apps on the world
 * 147) Political control over the Fed is inevitable. Which means the inflationary spiral that the Fed was put in place to prevent is also inevitable
 * 148) As their Obamacare replacement cuts off funds for Planned Parenthood, Republicans want to reassure women that other clinics will step up to provide their low-cost breast exams, contraception and cancer screenings. Let's see how that worked in TX
 * 149) The "Hearing Protection Act" is a GOP-introduced bill to a) update laws for maximal headphone volume output, b) make measurement of sound levels at live concerts mandatory, c) reduce restrictions on gun silencers
 * 150) Today we learn how the revolving door between the government and Amazon.com use your tax dollars, make Bezos a happy guy
 * 151) Because they're schmucks who only care that he's pissing off liberals
 * 152) Trump to lay wreath at Andrew Jackson's grave, initiate new Trail of Tears to make room for real Americans, and cripple the Bank of the United States. Will he go all-in and call for the abolition of the Electoral College to ensure the populist voice?
 * 153) Apparently Putin doesn't want a Pence presidency
 * 154) NYT: Dammit, Maddow, what's with the whole "educating your viewers to catch them up to speed on why all of this shiat matters in the end" thing? Why didn't you just do an hour dissecting the stupid returns, dammit. GAWD. *punts puppy*
 * 155) Donald Trump Jr. goes on Twitter rant about fake news after Rachel Maddow unveiled his father's very real tax returns
 * 156) Remember when Bill Clinton asked for the resignations of all US attorneys DURING the transition:? Pepperidge farms remembers
 * 157) Marco Rubio says Snoop Dogg should have been more careful about pretending to shoot a Trump clown in a video because "presidents have been assassinated before"
 * 158) Trump attorney challenges Scarborough to prove Trump team is behind tax leak, because proof is something everyone else has to provide
 * 159) Trump is planning on cutting the NWS, EPA, Medicare and Medicaid, but you can bet your tax dollars he's going back to Mar-a-Lago this weekend
 * 160) The "administration" of Donald Trump "seems to" like using "scare quotes" a "whole lot"
 * 161) Trump defenders are starting to sound like English Lit professors at a Joyce seminar: "So now you have to decide, are you going to take the tweets literally? And if you are then clearly the president was wrong. But if you're not"
 * 162) Headline: "Donald Trump is more normal than you think"
 * 163) LIberals, don't get too comfy up there sipping your lattes on your high chairs, turns out women who supported Trump think he's doing a terrific job, and is keeping all his promises, including, draining the swamp and such
 * 164) Liberals in pursuit of the smoking gun to take down Trump fell for a 1.6 billion dollar hoax
 * 165) Trump to send 1000 troops to Syria because you can't win wars if you don't fight them
 * 166) Adorable Trump operative Roger Stone thinks he's important enough to be targeted for assassination
 * 167) Facebook is marking InfoWars links as "spam", regardless of whether Alex Jones appears shirtless
 * 168) Trump's agenda hinges on the fate of Trumpscare
 * 169) It's always a good sign when your boss starts telling reporters what your next job could be
 * 170) Want to kill someone? Do it in Florida, where it's basically legal now
 * 171) Trump again says he was wiretapped as long as you include people listening to people in any situation as wiretapping
 * 172) GOP is scrambling to re-write their healthcare bill after the CBO estimates show just how much it will piss off their voting base of old white people
 * 173) AG Jeff Sessions: "We have too much tolerance for marijuana use. We need to say, as Nancy Reagan said, 'Just say no.'" He then knocked back three fingers of bourbon and took a long, satisfying drag from an unfiltered Camel
 * 174) Breitbart loves trolling Paul Ryan. Well who wouldn't?
 * 175) Trump's Utah booster cites hunting stance as key to victory & Mormons who voted against Head Cheeto need forgiveness, because Ivanka: "Statistically, if you come from wealth and privilege, you have about an 85 percent chance of being a train wreck"
 * 176) GOP: " If Democrats want to fix healthcare, they should offer their own bill." That's the joke
 * 177) Trump finds another way to improve health care in Michigan
 * 178) Isn't it time we normalize President Trump? If it can even be done
 * 179) Tom Price thinks it should be up to states, not the Federal Government, to decide if vaccines are required
 * 180) President Trump wants to privatize the nation's air traffic controllers to save money. What could possibly go wrong?
 * 181) New overnight poll puts Donald Trump's approval rate at 46%. Which is exactly the same percentage who show no concern about health care, the environment, the economy, race relations, labor issues, foreign policy
 * 182) Trump's budget cuts all funding for climate change research. Every. Last. Penny
 * 183) Politics 101 - Even the most loyal supporters get turned off by a politician who orders a $54 steak well done and then puts ketchup on it
 * 184) "Nobody ever talks about the fact that [the words 'wires tapped' was in quotes [in the tweet], but that's a very important thing"]
 * 185) The failing, rigged, fake New York Times article used the word wiretap which makes me smart
 * 186) So it turns out that more people voted in the 1026 Presidential election, than did when President Obama was reelected in 2012
 * 187) Mulvaney: "We can't ask a coal miner to pay for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting." This story brought to you by the letters 'W,' 'T' and 'F'
 * 188) Rachel Maddow rickrolled her liberal flock, and they love her for it and can't wait for the next benevolent serving of anti-Trump scraps
 * 189) Trump plan to cut foreign aid comes just as the threat of famine is surging in various places around the world, fomenting unrest and destabilizing regions the US is trying to stabilize to prevent ISIS from making inroads
 * 190) Reason magazine has never suffered through a PBS telethon
 * 191) They'll be no shortage of Donald Trumps in the coming decades. Secret service in trouble for taking selfies with 8 year-old Donald Trump III. Trump III says Obama caused him to poopie his pants. They grow up so fast
 * 192) Kid Rock celebrates his new line of grills made in America by launching Chinese grills into the air and shooting them with a shotgun. I'm sure the Chinese don't care since they have Rock's money
 * 193) Guy who doesn't like gay people stomps all over their flag. This is not a metaphor
 * 194) Michelle Malkin says judges are tyrants for not allowing constitutionally dubious travel ban to go through. Good thing Malkin doesn't have a murky immigrant background which might include her parents immigrating on employer sponsored visas
 * 195) After one of their many on-air arguments, "Hannity pulled out a gun and pointed it directly at Williams...he even turned on the laser sight, causing a red dot to bob around on Williams' body"
 * 196) Enjoy Sean Spicer's latest Melissa McCarthy impersonation
 * 197) Republican-lite Dems trying to figure out how to stay relevant, can't even
 * 198) LA Times says that while Al Gore had an inconvenient truth, Donald Trump has inconvenient realities
 * 199) Congressional Republicans rebuke Trump's budget
 * 200) The U.S. may have just bombed a mosque in Aleppo during evening prayers. Dozens dead
 * 201) "He's doing everything that he promised he would do - working to secure our borders, took us out of TPP, has the best cabinet that has never been assembled in history," says GOP congressman who gave Trump an A for his performance. Hilarity ensued
 * 202) Republican congressman and proud Twitter racist Steve King finally caves to all the pressure, gives interview detailing how he's been crushed by the weight of all of his GOP colleagues patting him on the back
 * 203) Cognitive dissonance sadly not covered by the ACA. Thanks, Obama
 * 204) Trump's bold, grand plan for the US Navy lacks one key element: Funding to pay for the skilled workers needed to build said fleet. Also, the skilled workers are nowhere to be found
 * 205) GOP to Trump: No, you can't have a wall
 * 206) Trump's budget motto: Nothing helps, so we should stop trying
 * 207) GOP to Trump: No, you can't shut down Meals on Wheels
 * 208) Right wing journalists ask the hard questions, like "Why is President Obama spending time in Hawaii?" Because it's not like he's from there or anything
 * 209) Reporter quits over Obama conspiracy theory story published by his employer
 * 210) Inside internet hate site: "We're not a hate site"
 * 211) Obviously, the reason no one can find any evidence that Obama ordered Trump wiretapped is because he asked James Bond to do it
 * 212) White House officially downgrades its apology to "an explanation"
 * 213) No longer even trying to hide it
 * 214) Deputy Director of the NSA calls Trump's UK spying allegations "just crazy", "arrant nonsense". Then insinuates Trump is ignorant and stupid. Why yes, he is retiring shortly
 * 215) Russia's hostile actions may be due to them panicking over our latest nuclear missiles, which for the first time in history make a preemptive nuclear attack possible. It's a good thing we have someone in charge who won't-oh, god, we're all screwed
 * 216) Tim Allen says Hollywood is 'like 1930's Germany' for conservatives. Man, his comedy routine's really gone downhill
 * 217) Pamphlet explains what your snowflake should do if they suffer a microaggression. Oops
 * 218) Having wrested Pennsylvania, Ohio, and West Virginia out of Democratic hands, Donald Trump proposes screwing them over completely... along with red states Kentucky and Tennessee
 * 219) White House: All VA Hospitals directed to put up portraits of cheetos
 * 220) Trump claims he is holding a big meeting on how to overhaul the VA at Mar-a-Lago because it was "the most convenient place" and "everybody wanted to go there". Also, Donald? Stop trying to make "The Southern White House" happen. It's embarrassing
 * 221) This weekend, you paid Trump the approximate cost of 500,000 Meals on Wheels for a "Veterans Affairs meeting" in Mar-a-Lago. Only it seems he forgot to bring the VA secretary. Or even to schedule the meeting
 * 222) Secret Service laptop containing the floor plans to Trump Tower and info about the Clinton email investigation stolen
 * 223) Well, it's not like he nominated Martin Shkreli to head the FDA or anything
 * 224) Breitbart wants Trump to go full Andrew Jackson and ignore the courts and their verdicts, because that's what you do in a Democracy
 * 225) Since the White House argued that Meals on Wheels is going to be cut because it has not shown any results, I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear that there is actual research that proves otherwise
 * 226) POUTS show how he deals with women leaders by refusing to shake Merkel's hand at photo op - or even look at her
 * 227) Trump makes hilarious wiretap joke with Merkel to which Merkel responded, I don't understand, I was actually wiretapped while you just made it up. So, how is that funny?
 * 228) Sean Spicer is increasingly becoming like one of those robots in a logic puzzle: You can NEVER admit your Boss lies, But your Boss NEVER tells the Truth, and you have to explain what he really means
 * 229) Trump treats his staff as horribly as he treats everyone else. Film at 11
 * 230) Trump insults about her on the campaign trail are gonna make his meeting with Angela Merkel more awkward than that Thanksgiving where Uncle Cleetus "came out" and admitted to his turkey fetish
 * 231) HHS Sec. Tom Price says that benchmark for healthcare should be care, not insurance coverage. Aight we can all agree on that? Now let's hear how Trump/GOP plans to provide said care... oh laissez-faire mmmkay that worked magnificently the last time
 * 232) Sarcasm-illiterate (or actually illiterate) Trump press staffers include link to parody article skewering budget proposal in official daily briefing
 * 233) Everybody loves Bernie Sanders - that is, except the Democratic party
 * 234) For SOME reason the US government isn't responding to Ukraine's requests to interview Paul Manafort in connection to a corruption investigation. Gee, I wonder why that is
 * 235) NOT NEWS: Punch-magnet white supremacist shames welfare. NEWS: Wearing bootstraps funded by millions in government subsidies. FARK: Paid to his family-owned cotton farm in Louisiana
 * 236) So, if we eliminate funding for the National Endowment for the Arts, what could we use that money for? How about building one mile of the 405 freeway? Wait, make that "not even a mile"
 * 237) The farther you live from a large city the more likely you will be living in poverty and riding a hoveround
 * 238) The IRS granted 'After School Satan Club' tax-exempt status in 10 days, while non-profit conservative groups had to wait years (and some are still waiting)
 * 239) They cast their votes. They knew what they were getting into. I say, let them burn
 * 240) A majority of young people believe Trump's presidency to be illegitimate, that they were simply powerless to stop it because they were so busy shooting their marijuanas on election day
 * 241) Alternative Facts v2.0 is live. I'm pissed because there are no new features, just word-play tweaks and balancing. Definitely not buying the expansion when it comes out
 * 242) Donations to Meals on Wheels surge after announcement of funding cuts. See? The system works
 * 243) It appears that someone is blowing smoke up the White House's arse with some crazy theory about smog
 * 244) Tom Price tells CNN that Trump's promise of universal health coverage is right behind the ACA repeal and passage of the Blood God Budget. The specifics are secret. Trust him
 * 245) Trump fan sues Manhattan bar for not serving him because of his Trump hat. Yeah, right. I'm sure it had nothing to do with his "waiters can go fark themselves" shirt
 * 246) Fake news delivers new fake polling numbers for Trump showing only 37% approve of his job performance and a fake 58% of fakers disapprove of his job performance
 * 247) Mike Pence to get "World's 2nd Best Boss" mug
 * 248) Ryan goes all in on Don'tCare
 * 249) "Circumstantial evidence" regarding collusion between Russia and Trump campaign. The seven or so Trump surrogates who had many meetings with Russians not withstanding
 * 250) Trump: Russia story is 'FAKE NEWS and everyone knows it'
 * 251) "Is Russiagate just a conspiracy theory?" If the headline ends in a question
 * 252) Trump Administration to boycott UN council over anti-Israel agenda, because the best way to stop something you don't like is to prevent yourself from voting to stop it
 * 253) Fox News host suggested that the Secret Service should kill Snoop Dogg and Bow Wow after Snoop recently made a music video in which he points a gun at a clown version of President Trump, because that's what you do in a Democracy
 * 254) "Establishment Democrats aim to adopt the anti-Trump movement", perhaps consider becoming liberal again but not too soon because they wouldn't want to rush into standing for something, or winning elections, or anything scary like that
 * 255) Rand Paul predicts that Trumpcare will pass, fail completely, and only then after the complete collapse of the healthcare system will any real negotiations towards healthcare reform begin
 * 256) White House continues to defend wiretapping claim despite today's contrary statements from "so-called FBI Director" Comey
 * 257) Homeland Security publishes list of 118 terrorist occupied cities. Bombing begins in five minutes
 * 258) Step 1: Steal car. Step 2: Drive to White House. Step 3: Declare there is a bomb in your car at a Secret Service checkpoint. Step 4: Get featured on Fark
 * 259) Your SpicerFact for 3/20/17: Trump golfing is better than Obama golfing because Trump uses golf to solve the world's problems
 * 260) Learn to loot, smash skulls, and scream the right way in this Protest Safety Simulator
 * 261) The age of open government is ending
 * 262) Trump campaign chief turned Lobbyist Corey Lewandowski is raising money for a PAC designed to help "drain the swamp" and fight corruption in Washington. Man, who would've expected him to turn on his former boss like that?
 * 263) GOP Representatives: Here we'll put $75* billion into the bill. Don't ask what it does. We won't know until the Senate passes it
 * 264) Trump voters think it's OK for Trump to commit treason because Hillary would have been worse. So there ya have it kids, out of their own mouths and in their own words: Trumpers support treason
 * 265) Trump takes personal credit and brags about increasing unemployment in African American males
 * 266) The best and worst states for business: 90% of the top 10 voted for Trump; 80% of the bottom 10 voted for Clinton
 * 267) Trump threatens Republicans to support TrumpCare or lose their seats. Or possibly grab them by it, one of the two
 * 268) Bullshiat Spice: Come on guys, obviously the President was having some fun with recalcitrant GOP members who refuse to back Health Care bill, he wasn't actually threatening them...no, really. Trust him
 * 269) Monday's hearing "debunked" Trump's wiretapping tweets, but left his underlying claim intact: that there was surveillance of the Trump campaign; that the results were shared throughout the government - even possibly reaching the Obama White House
 * 270) While most news outlets reported the twin bombshells Comey dropped yesterday, that Trump lied, and that Trump's team is being investigated; Fox and Friends tweets "you didn't miss much" with a supercut of the questions Comey DIDN'T answer
 * 271) So, it turns out the FBI really DID have a wiretap at Trump Tower to spy on Russians, but it was from 2011-2013, and its target was the Russian mobsters running a massive money laundering operation out of their apartment there
 * 272) Whether it's residents in his Trump-branded buildings, or his business associates or investors in his projects, Trump is tied up with not just Russians, but in many cases Russians tied to the criminal underworld and money laundering
 * 273) How Farking idiotic are Trump supporters? They chant Build the Wall while vacationing in Mexico. They may want to check out Snopes for the vacation pics story
 * 274) The breakthrough of the 2016 election lies in the fact that the religious right, in its support for a thrice-married, self-confessed sexual predator, finally dispensed with the fiction that it was concerned about abortion or 'family values'
 * 275) The internet is forever, and things you post can come back to haunt you later. Isn't that right, Mrs. Kellyanne "Ha, ha, you're being investigated by the FBI" Conway?
 * 276) Meanwhile at Rasmussen, the Czar's approval rating remains at 50%
 * 277) People close to the president say Mr. Trump's Twitter torrent had less to do with fact, strategy or tactic than a sense of persecution bordering on faith: He simply believes that he was bugged in some way, by someone
 * 278) Christianity INC. well, at least they're finally admitting its always been about the money and redemption was never an option
 * 279) What's it like to have Trump grab you by the pussy?
 * 280) Next up with Russian connections: John Podesta
 * 281) Democrat party is based on the promise of giving out free stuff. It works to draw in voters until they realize it's a lie, then the murders begin
 * 282) Wait until he finds out that the Ku Klux Klan was founded by Democrats
 * 283) Guy who quit his job and stopped paying his mortgage to follow Trump on the trail playing pro-Trump country songs realizes that the only thing he was playing was himself
 * 284) Disgraced congressman Anthony Weiner seen hobbling around NYC. Here are the crutch shots
 * 285) Rep. Nunes claims that Trump people were picked up on FBI wiretaps of Russians, which means, technically, Obama wiretapped the Trump campaign, which is the best kind of wiretapping
 * 286) Gorsuch believes it is improper to state opinions about historic cases. A SCOTUS appointee with no opinion or regard for precedent? The perfect candidate
 * 287) Dave Brat goes into a conspiracy theory meltdown live on the air after Katy Tur asks him a few simple questions
 * 288) Chelsea Clinton is set to receive a lifetime achievement award for some reason
 * 289) Donald Trump Jr. takes to Twitter to insult the Mayor of London over terrorist attack. I'm beginning to think there's a nature, not nurture thing going on here
 * 290) Tattoo removals have skyrocketed in San Francisco, as illegal aliens fear body markings may tie them to foreign criminal gangs and make them a target for immigration officials
 * 291) Lockheed Martin CEO says that Trump made the F-35 great again with just a single phone call
 * 292) The FBI is struggling to hire hackers because they're all weed smokers
 * 293) Trump feels "somewhat vindicated" about his "wire tapping" allegations. "Somewhat vindicated" is in quotes meaning not actually vindicated at all
 * 294) ProPublica fact-checks lawmakers' constituent letters and finds out that both sides really are bad. ChecktetrisBOOMSHAKALAKA, libulardorethuglikans
 * 295) No, Trump did not persuade TransCanada Corp to withdraw a hefty lawsuit against the U.S. government. Lawsuit is merely suspended as it has been for weeks. This dude just loves to lie
 * 1) ProPublica fact-checks lawmakers' constituent letters and finds out that both sides really are bad. ChecktetrisBOOMSHAKALAKA, libulardorethuglikans
 * 2) No, Trump did not persuade TransCanada Corp to withdraw a hefty lawsuit against the U.S. government. Lawsuit is merely suspended as it has been for weeks. This dude just loves to lie


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