Drumpfster Fire Misinformation/Archive/2017/February 2017

''Originally this page was but a simple section under Daily Chaos. It became more ambitious and was given its own separate page to grow and prosper.''

This page will show Fark threads for the month of February, 2017. For currect month, click here. For previous months, please see the archive.

=Correct Sections=

The Show Is ‘Trump’
And it is sold-out performances everywhere

I Won The Popular Vote
if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally

I Think [Putin Has] Done Really A Great Job Of Outsmarting Our Country

 * 1) Sergey Kislyak Russian ambassador
 * 2) RT formerly Russia Today, Russian international television network funded by the Russian government
 * 3) Sputnik a news agency, consisting of websites, radio broadcast service (among others) established by the Russian government-controlled news agency Rossiya Segodnya
 * 4) Dmitry Rybolovlev "The Fertilizer King"
 * 5) Russian Spies
 * 6) Konstantin Kilimnik Paul Manafort's protégé
 * 7) Dmitry Peskov Vladimir Putin's press secretary

We Love ‘The Art Of The Deal’
but the Bible is far, far superior

I Will Be The Greatest Jobs President
that God ever created

I Love The Poorly Educated
To see all the ways Drumpf supporters are stupid and how they got that way, please click here

TrumpCare
World's Greatest Healthcare Plan of 2017

If You Don’t Tell People About Your Success
they probably won’t know about it

Sean Spicer
White House Press Secretary

Kellyanne Conway
Counselor to the President

Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Deputy White House spokesmodel

Mike Pence
"Vice" President

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III
Attorney General

RT
formerly known as Russia Today

EPA
Environmental Protection Agency

Steve Mnuchin
Treasury Secretary

Ben Carson
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development

FCC
Federal Communications Commission

John F. Kelly
Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security

Scott Pruitt
Director of the Environmental Protection Agency

Paul Manafort
former Trump campaign manager

Mick Mulvaney
Director of the Office of Management & Budget

Boris Epshteyn
Assistant Communications Director for Surrogate Operations

Carter Page
American oil industry consultant, foreign policy advisor

Michael Flynn
former National Security advisor
 * 1) White House spokesperson: Trump doesn't know a damn thing

James Comey
Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation

Army General Joseph Votel
commander, U.S. Central Command

Betsy DeVos
Secretary of Education

Independent Contractors

 * 1) Charles Krauthammer
 * 2) Ann Coulter
 * 3) House Ways and Means Committee
 * 4) Rep. Jason Smith (R MO 8th)
 * 5) Senator Ted Cruz (R TX)
 * 6) National Review
 * 7) Rep. Paul Ryan (R WI 1st)
 * 8) New York Daily News
 * 9) Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R UT 3rd)
 * 10) Julian Assange

I Alone Can Fix It
While the State exists there can be no freedom; when there is freedom there will be no State


 * 1) National Park Service
 * 2) CBO Congressional Budget Office
 * 3) Rep. Tom O’Halleran (D AZ 1st)
 * 4) Statistical Policy Directive Number 3
 * 5) '''U.S. District Court Judge William Conley
 * 6) Senator Chris Murphy (D CT)

When Someone Crosses You, My Advice Is ‘Get even!’

 * 1) Alex Oronov
 * 2) David Bossie former Trump Deputy Campaign Manager
 * 3) Senator Tom Cotton (R AR)
 * 4) Heritage Foundation
 * 5) Senator Ben Sasse (R NE)
 * 6) Rep. Devin Nunes (R CA 22nd) House Intelligence Committee Chairman
 * 7) Senator Richard Burr (R NC) Senate Intelligence Committee Chair
 * 8) National Review
 * 9) Bloomberg News
 * 10) Mick Mulvaney Director of the Office of Management & Budget 
 * 11) Breitbart "News"
 * 12) Governor Charlie Baker (R MA)
 * 13) FOX
 * 14) James Rosen reporter for FOX News
 * 15) Senator RANDPAUL (R KY)
 * 16) Rep. Pete Sessions (R TX 32nd)
 * 17) Walter Shaub Director, Office of Government Ethics
 * 18) Rep. Paul Ryan (R WI 1st)

Go After People That Go After You

 * 1) American Society of Civil Engineers

No Puppet! No Puppet! You're The Puppet!
=Links to be recategorized=
 * 1) More than half of Trump voters think The Bowling Green Massacre is proof that Trump's immigration ban is necessary
 * 2) How did Donald Trump react to those "underreported" terror attacks? Let's check the tweets
 * 3) Remember Pizzagate? It's back. In Philadelphia for some reason. And now it involves ice cream?
 * 4) Assistant Dumbest Man on the Internet Lucian B. Wintrich granted White House press credentials
 * 5) Let's check the Alternative News sources for their take on Flynn's resignation... "The leakers of Flynn's call belong in jail." Ooooooooookay then
 * 6) Yes, being a conservative billionaire is just like being a black girl taunted by racists in the 1950s
 * 7) Omarosa apparently came from the Nixon school of thought before joining the Trump White House
 * 8) Ted Cruz: Political Leader, Senator, Legal Scholar, greatest troll ever
 * 9) For some reason, it wasn't a big deal in 2008 when Obama told his buddies in Iran to hold off on signing a nuclear weapons deal until he was in office
 * 10) Guy who arranged the Deploraball is now a White House correspondent
 * 11) The New York Times admits intelligence officials have found no evidence Trump campaign associates worked with Russia
 * 12) Trump administration when asked if anyone from the campaign had communicated with the Russians: FAKE NEWS FBI: Yeah, about that
 * 13) President Trump has retreated into his safe space, and will only take questions from conservative media outlets trying to curry favor with his administration, for third time in a row
 * 14) Unhinged conspiracy theorist and known crazy person Alex Jones says Obama is "plotting a Bolshevik revolution" against Trump
 * 15) Is it really a "subissue" that American intelligence are spying on and attempting to undermine a lawfully elected president and his administration? That's not an elephant in the room. It's a mammoth
 * 16) Trump to announce new labor pick, throw a tantrum, live at 12:30 ET
 * 17) So how exactly does one wage war on whistle blowers?
 * 18) "Michael Flynn was forced out by devil-worshiping, Luciferian, demon-possessed maniacs behind a global child molestation ring." Well okay then
 * 19) Yes, the right-leaning and conservative press is having their day in the sun, since the liberal media can't seem to get their act together
 * 20) Trump: I was valedictorian of my class at Wharton. Reality: He didn't even make the honor roll
 * 21) Trump approval vaults to 55% somehow
 * 22) Trump disapproval vaults to 56% somehow
 * 23) Trump "wrestles with a crush of crises". Why if only...wait a sec, IS THAT LINDA MCMAHON'S MUSIC? BAH GAWD KING
 * 24) Trump says administration running like "fine-tuned machine". Unclear how to adjust timing when cylinder 1 fires at random and other cylinders keep ejecting pistons
 * 25) Today in Why Democrats Lost has some Democrats gearing up to challenge their own incumbents in 2018 because they are not angry and shouty about everything every day
 * 26) Trump: Rep.Cummings backed out of meeting with me claiming 'Oh, I can't move, it might be bad for me politically. I can't have that meeting". Rep. Cummings: "Dude,what?"
 * 27) Today in bizarro world... "Trump triumphs over press"
 * 28) "Why the vitriol against Ivanka Trump? Much of it can likely be boiled down to jealousy. Left-leaning journalists and feminists won't admit it, but she is everything that we all aspire to be: smart, beautiful, and successful"
 * 29) The elaborate lifestyle of the Trump family is a staggeringly expensive logistical nightmare, and you'll never guess who gets to pick up the tab. Hint: not Trump
 * 30) Libs take the bait in Trump's game of 30-dimensional Hungry Hungry Hippos
 * 31) Trump's poll gets trolled
 * 32) Trump has not engaged in any illegal conduct or committed any lawless overreaches. President Obama, on the other hand, was habitually lawless
 * 33) The Left will sell us their lie that Americans hate Trump and what he is doing. Therefore, the Trump revolution will not be televised
 * 34) Washington Post Editor says they would be covering President Hillary Clinton just as aggressively and energetically as they do with Trump. Except that they would be using pom poms, wine coolers and a Carole King soundtrack
 * 35) Subby decides to go for the throat on the Politics tab green-fest. "Sanctuary cities are racist"
 * 36) Where is the righteous Christian indignation? And where are the bleeding-heart liberals who claim to care about the persecuted underdog?
 * 37) There's real news, fake news, and now imaginary news, born of the authors' hallucinations
 * 38) Democrat state leaders really want Obama and his organizing to fark the fark off, they have lost enough already
 * 39) You've never truly libbed until you're so lib that you blame super arch-conservative epic level puppetmaster Obama for everything Trump is doing now
 * 40) The 45th President of the United States of America believes, and has said publicly and openly that "The Press is the Enemy of the American People". This is fine
 * 41) The era of fake news is just getting started
 * 42) Concern troll is concerned
 * 43) I've hated the "media" since Walter Crankcase turned America against the American men and women fighting in Vietnam. The "media" can KMA
 * 44) WH chief of staff wants America to "Take seriously" Trump's threat to the Freedom of Speech
 * 45) Yeah, about that Trump supporter who was 'spontaneously' invited on stage during his Florida 'campaign' rally...
 * 46) Yeah, about that Texas 'congressman' described as wishing for another 9/11...
 * 47) Missouri's new governor complains about how the media is covering him, even as he continues to refuse to talk to reporters
 * 48) Fake data
 * 49) What infuriates the liberal media? "President Trump has a connection with his voters that most politicians don't, and that connection is not anything that anybody else can break"
 * 50) Not to ruin the narrative all immigrants from the Middle East are bad, but Sweden's crime rate has been falling for the last 12 years even as it has taken in hundreds of thousands of immigrants from war-torn countries like Syria and Iraq
 * 51) Don't tell me--marijuana laced with formaldehyde?
 * 52) Sweden's former prime minister reminds everyone there were more murders in Florida ,where Trump spoke, than in the entire country of Sweden last year
 * 53) You may want to hold your jaw from hitting the ground, but it turns out the two Swedish police officers interviewed by Fox News, which Trump watched before making his ill informed remarks, say their quotes were taken out of context
 * 54) Don Lemon fact-checks the alternative filmmaker behind the grossly idiotic film that makes Sweden look like Chicago and resulted in Trump making a global gaffe
 * 55) International political scholar and Alt-Right luminary Jenna Jameson declares Sweden the "rape capitol of the world"
 * 56) That's borked up
 * 57) Media notices that Trump's revised travel ban is essentially the same as the last one. No, it is actually different, according to Priebus, Miller and other top aides, because it has a different font
 * 58) There are facts, alternative facts, and alternative statistics
 * 59) Why are Democrats criticizing Trump for the amount of golf he plays? "It's ironic that the same people who don't want Trump to do anything complain when he doesn't do anything"
 * 60) "Shameless rhetoric will always find a receptive audience with shameless people. Donald Trump's was the greatest political strip-tease act in U.S. political history: the dirtier he got, the more skin he showed, the more his core supporters liked it"
 * 61) Reality: Trump's time as POTUS has been extremely rocky. Trumpers: Fark you reality. The national debt is gone, Americans now shiat gold bars, and no POTUS has ever had a higher approval rating
 * 62) Texas goes all-in on Trump, with nearly 90% of Republicans thinking he's doing a perfect job. FARK: Half of them think Putin is the bestest, and walks on water
 * 63) Texas anti-vaxxers energized by Trump
 * 64) How TV influences Donald Trump's foreign policy. And that's fine, look I was raised on TV and I turned out TV
 * 65) OH great, Apparently our foreign policy is being "forged" by FOX News. We're now at war with Sweden, Mexico, and Australia
 * 66) Trump lives in a media bubble and it's causing chaos. "We now need someone to unplug the White House wi-fi and switch off his damn television"
 * 67) Donald Trump's aides are using special tactics to keep him off Twitter, starting with no tweeting within eight hours of watching anything on CNN
 * 68) Pres. Trump says media shouldn't be citing confidential sources. As proof, he references an unnamed news report
 * 69) Trump's tweets are very predictable - if you watch Fox News. It's where the President gets all his information. Certainly not books or smart people
 * 70) It just so happens that President Trump 'the hated' is a lot like President Lyndon Johnson whom liberals still love
 * 71) Trump month two: talking about things he swore to do on day one
 * 72) Breitbart's editor-in-chief Alex Marlow calls Milo Yiannopoulos' comments "totally indefensible." He then proceeds to defend them
 * 73) Lewandowski: "Trump's team is letting him down." Later adding, "If I was still there, I'd totally right the ship with the right people. But noooo, bastards dumped my ass because I was *too* good at their job"
 * 74) The organization you want to abuse on your talk show won't send anyone, do you C) hire an actor to pretend to be a member
 * 75) Trump White House Official finally admits it. The only reason they are calling everything "fake news" is because most news stories do not present the dear leader in a flattering light
 * 76) President Trump considered more trustworthy than the liberal media, like that's much of an accomplishment
 * 77) Looks like Bannon will soon be off the National Security Council that he snuck his way on to
 * 78) Flynn is just the latest victim in a disturbing pattern of reckless and defiant behavior from individuals embedded in the Intelligence Community who are unwilling to heed the rule of law
 * 79) Old and busted: I have black friends so I can't be racist. New hotness: Jared and Ivanka are Jews so Trump can't be Antisemitic
 * 80) Invest in popcorn futures in 3, 2, 1
 * 81) Jame's O'keefe's latest "bombshell", the "CNN Leaks" project, is a couple of recordings with low-level staffers from 2009 where one called Rassmussen a bad pollster, another said climate change is "undeniable" and a third called Fox news "unbearable
 * 82) The sentient bow tie controlling Tucker Carlson tries to silence guest cautioning the world of Trump's fascism
 * 83) Betsy DeVos is the voice of reason and compassion. I now need a hot shower and lots of booze after typing that
 * 84) Liberals can't stop falling for erotic political fan fiction in the age of Trump
 * 85) Let's ask Santorum about the who is to blame for the rise of Anti-Semitism. Hint, the man was a secret Muslim
 * 86) Republicans already trying to turn Elizabeth Warren into face of Democratic party for 2018 elections. BOOGA BOOGA
 * 87) GOP has a major problem caused by paid protestors
 * 88) Trump to change the fabric of the US, likely to something gold, tasseled, and horrid looking
 * 89) CPAC attendees: We don't believe Trump's trips are costing more than Obama's
 * 90) Baba Yaga ascendant Ann Coulter gives Donald Trump an "A+" for his first month in office, but says she's disappointed he doesn't Tweet more
 * 91) Trump declares the immigration roundup efforts a "military operation". No word if it comes with new, matching uniforms for ICE officials
 * 92) In today's exercise in Trump administration humiliation, Spicer had to go out in front of millions of people and claim that "military operation" doesn't mean "military operation"
 * 93) Homeland Security chief John Kelly wonders why the press brings up questions about military force being used in immigration operations. This might be a crazy thought, but maybe they keep asking because the President of the U.S. said exactly that
 * 94) CPAC organizer denounces "alt right" on CPAC stage, not because they're racist far-right assholes but because they're a "left-wing fascist group." Also contends sun is "cold," water is "dry," Trump is "really rational, mellow guy with great hair"
 * 95) If you look at the real Presidential Ratings, the U6 instead of the fake U3 Obama used, then you'll clearly see Trump is the best President since George Washington, Jesus Christ, and Walker Texas Ranger
 * 96) How Trump is getting away with corruption
 * 97) Trump: I saved the Air Force a billion dollars. Air Force: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 * 98) Trump is going to build the yugest, most luxurious ice breakers that you've ever seen. You better believe it
 * 99) President Bannon rails against the Je--- err.... "globalist"-controlled media
 * 100) Evil drunken troll says Trump's war on media will only get worse and it's all their fault because they should accept Trump's insane agenda that he thought up just last week while tweeting how Rosie O'Donnell is fat
 * 101) Cohen lied about not taking the Ukraine peace plan to the White House. "Says who?" "Says who?"
 * 102) Paid protesters don't think the media is fake
 * 103) Conservatives can't tell the difference between capitalism, socialism, and communism: "You cannot have Uber and a socialist-run health care system - it's both or neither"
 * 104) Caitlyn Jenner: "I never thought the leopards would eat MY face"
 * 105) New York industrial workers didn't realize that leopards would eat their faces
 * 106) "I never thought the leopards would eat MY face," she said
 * 107) This just in: President Trump is less authoritarian than Obama. We now return you to your normally programmed hysteria
 * 108) Suggestion to Republicans: If you're going to be late to your town hall meeting, especially after your constituents have been waiting for hours to ask you questions, don't waste time when you finally arrive by praying. "They Booed the Name of Jesus"
 * 109) "Nevertheless, she persisted"
 * 110) Trump is speaking live at CPAC right now, hold onto your butts
 * 111) A lot of flag waving going on during Trump's CPAC speech. Russian flags, but still
 * 112) Ladies and Gentlemen, the trolls who won CPAC
 * 113) CPAC: Trump tells conservatives he is future of the GOP
 * 114) Trump's claim:"There are lines that go back six blocks. I tell you that because you won't read about it." Reality: Not even in the galactic neighborhood of the truth
 * 115) Fact-checking the President's CPAC speech. 6 interns died of exhaustion to bring us this information
 * 116) If you took a drink every time Trump attacked the Media, or used the phrases "enemy of the people", "standing ovation", "fake news", or "electoral college", in his speech at CPAC, you are dead now
 * 117) Here's Donald Trump's epic CPAC speech, translated into human: "We're ahead of even our most ambitious estimates for driving America into the ground"
 * 118) Trump just refused to give CNN, LA Times, NYT & Politico entry into the White House
 * 119) And now we know why the Washington Post was kept out of the briefing today
 * 120) Looks like the Dept of Homeland Security will be getting some angry tweets tonight
 * 121) Trump finds Dept. of Homeland Security report on travel ban pointless, says it failed to include data supporting the ban. "This is not the intelligence assessment the President asked for"
 * 122) Trump says an unnamed person tells him of the evils of the press using anonymous sources
 * 123) "The National Debt in my first month went down by $12 billion", said the President who hasn't actually enacted any fiscal legislation
 * 124) Nuclear weapons experts ask if Trump is getting his information from farking morons or is just farking stupid himself
 * 125) Robert Davi says reporters who "spread lies about virtuous political candidates like Trump" should be thrown in jail. Tough talk from a man whose biggest film credit is Showgirls
 * 126) Yes
 * 127) "Mean liberals are why we have President Trump" article #5,395, reporting for duty. Except, this one is actually a little bit convincing
 * 128) All you LIBS cry about the way Trump treats the press, but he's been in office only a month and has already scheduled his SECOND intensive, exclusive sit down interview with one of the famously tough journalists from Breitbart news
 * 129) John Kasich thinks Trump listened to him
 * 130) It's 2017, of course there are billionaires with supercomputers designed to analyze your every click and "like" in order to better craft their propaganda to make sure you vote how they want you to
 * 131) The media complains about how the president keeps booting them out of press conferences and other events. This won't go green since it's old news. Old as in we're talking about President Obama

Dear Leader

 * 1) "Nobody knew that healthcare could be so complicated" --Donald Trump, speaking to a room full of executives from major healthcare companies
 * 2) Old man laughs at clod
 * 3) Trump asks insurance companies to save us from Obamacare so that we can get the Affordable Care Act instead
 * 4) Trump grades his first month. Not surprisingly, he made the honor roll
 * 5) In another blow to fake news sources like the NYT, WaPo, CNN and Politico, the Trump administration leaked a preview of Trump's SOTU speech to a source it considers real news...InfoWars

Beloved Leader

 * 1) Saddened by the millions who turned out for the Women's Marches and the thousands packing town halls across the country, Trump Supporters are planning their OWN rallies which may be a bit smaller; but only because Trump's appeal is "more selective"
 * 2) America trusts the media over Trump by a 2 to 1 margin in new poll. Undoubtedly, Trump will take this to heart and stop being a lying conman not worthy of the job of dog catcher, never mind President of the United States
 * 3) Remember those pro-Trump rallies? The actual crowds that attended were like his hands: Tiny
 * 4) Over 250 people showed for one of the largest pro-Trump rallies yet
 * 5) Showing a complete inability to engage in introspection, Trump answers "No, probably I could never do that," when asked if he could think of anytime when he deserved criticism

Mandate from Dear Followers

 * 1) Liberals can't handle that this immoral man received a moral mandate to do what is right for America

Address to Dear Followers

 * 1) Trump administration to drug everyone during his speech to Congress Tuesday in the hopes we all forget the hilarious failure that is the Trump Administration thus far
 * 2) In tomorrow's speech to a joint session of Congress, President Trump should seek bipartisanship and find middle ground with Democrats
 * 3) It's your official pre-speech discussion thread. Main thread goes live 9PM ET
 * 4) Six critical reactions to keep an eye on during President Trump's first address to Congress: Shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance
 * 5) State of the Donald Official Discussion thread-- POTUS entry at 9pm ET

Strong Leader

 * 1) Donald Trump sabotaged the Oscars to get revenge on Jimmy Kimmel
 * 2) Need more proof that Trump is creating American jobs? Just ask these AP writers tasked with fact checking the President
 * 3) That botched SEALs raid on Yemen that yielded "an unbelievable amount of intelligence" actually produced "no significant intelligence at all"
 * 4) Our military's Commander in Chief just threw the troops under the bus for making him look bad. Maybe try not to die next time, losers
 * 5) President Trump's genius immigration plan is already working: Illegal immigration has dropped 27% in January alone

Enemy is Paid to Protest

 * 1) Study shows 60% of ObamaCare defenders online are paid to post. WHERE'S MY PAYCHECK?

Enemy is Evil

 * 1) I do not intend to mock, make light of, show hatred for, belittle, disparage, or imply that transgender people are defective. Disclaimer done, let's watch about 1000 words doing all those things accidentally fall out of my keyboard

Enemy Lies to Make Dear Leader Look Bad

 * 1) You can add Shell to the list of companies that accurately predicted climate change decades ago, then spent millions buying public opinion
 * 2) Trump at a gathering of state Attorneys General: "Maybe these Jewish center threats are being made by Democrats to make us look bad". THIS is why you shouldn't listen to InfoWars

Enemy Is Weak

 * 1) 'Fahrenheit 451' predicted the Left morphing into a bunch of intolerant, crybully sissies

BSABSVR

 * 1) "Pisses me off when the alt-left media likens these paid Obama/Soros/Alinsky violent protesters to the Tea Party"
 * 2) Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see a lot of Americans voting for the party of illegal immigration and religious war

Make America Great Again

 * 1) "Clean Coal" has the same problem as dirty coal: Natural gas is too cheap
 * 2) Secretary of Education Bel Biv DeVos says "separate but equal" was actually just a great prototype for school choice

Dear Followers

 * 1) These Iowa Trump voters are already regretting their vote... and a little embarrassed. As they should be

Ministry of Information

 * 1) Poll from the No Sh*t Sherlock Institute says majority of Americans thinks the liberal media is too critical of President Trump
 * 2) Ex-Neo Nazi: Don't ignore white supremacists. When they talk about the "liberal media" what they really mean is the "Jewish media"
 * 3) Jake Tapper: Dear Colleagues, stop being hypocrites for criticizing Trump for excluding outlets he doesn't like. Obama did the exact same thing, and you were ok with it then. Shut up and be reporters
 * 4) The sentient bowtie controlling Tucker Carlson tries to challenge the sentient bowtie controlling Bill Nye on climate change, the former eventually calling the latter a bully and shouting "You don't know" anything about science
 * 5) Bill O'Reilly finally issues correction over his fake Swedish security expert

Contacts with

 * 1) President Trump, who was physically in Moscow 4 years ago, claims he has not called Moscow in 10 years

Economic Sanctions Against

 * 1) Sean Spicer personally arranged a phone call between top CIA and intelligence officials and two news organizations to try to counter the NY Times story about contact between Russian intelligence and the Trump campaign. Drip. Drip. Drip
 * 2) White House now calling out our intelligence services for providing the President with fake intel, and seeks alternate facts that are more in line with his world view