ALECworks/Archive/2017/April 2017

This is an archive of ALECworks Fark threads for the month of April, 2017
Click this link for the current month, or here for the rest of the archive.

General ALECrap

Constitutional Convention

1. ^(3/31/2017) All this Constitutional Convention talk is a moot point unless the Koch Brothers can buy a few more state legislatures 
2. ^(4/5/2017) Creepy right-wing billionaires are trying to buy a new constitution so they can rewrite it 🇻

Known ALECrap

Yes, definitely ALECrap

1. ^(4/8/2017) Anti-transgender bathroom legislation has been filed in 15 states so far, but it's only a coincidence that all 15 bills contain the same typo 

Friendly ALECrap

1. ^(4/20/2017) Because gun laws aren't lax enough and the average American's life in danger from loose firearm regulations, the NRA now wants to push forth on National Reciprocity 

Possible ALECrap

This section will cover basically any state shenanigans discussed in a Fark thread since ALEC treats every state like their very own libertarian experiment

Several states

1. ^(4/21/2017) When it comes to lead water poisoning, Flint may have sparked a trend another 449 areas around the US were found with lead exposure rates double Flint'sTemplate:ToxTemplate:Goppol

Chris Sevier

aka Mark Sevier, aka Chris Severe

1. ^(4/11/2017) So just who is responsible for the slate of anti-porn bills working their way through red state legislatures. Well let's just take a look and - oh...oh dear proposed bill, Human Trafficking Prevention Act, would apply a pornography filter to any device that connects to the internet; levy a $20 tax per device to remove it; mandates all manufacturers of internet-connected devices maintain separate, 24-7 call centers to make sure obscene material is appropriately labeledTemplate:1stTemplate:Trojan
   1. ^(4/21/2017) News: Conservatives finally find a tax they like. Fark: A tax on porn. Ultrafark: It would come in the form of a filter that would be added to computers, and phones that would block obscene material until you pay a $20 fee Template:1stTemplate:Trojan

Alabama

Governor Robert Bentley (R AL)

1. ^(4/7/2017) Disgraced Alabama governor Robert Bentley, who was all about family values, begs prosecutors not to release more lurid details of his sexual trysts 👙
   1. ^(4/9/2017) Impeachment proceedings to begin very soon 
   2. ^(4/10/2017) Alabama Governor resigns to spend more time with his mistress 👙
   3. ^(4/11/2017) And here are the text messages disgraced Alabama Governor Robert Bentley (R-omantic) sent his staffer/mistress 👙
   4. ^(4/11/2017) Remember when Alabama closed DMVs in mostly black areas just as the state was rolling out voter ID? It turns out the governor's mistress was behind it mistress/governor's aide Rebekah Caldwell MasonTemplate:Voter👙Template:Qpq
   5. ^(4/12/2017) "Being sound on the fundamentals depends on what the evangelical community has decided the fundamentals have become. At this time, what is fundamental is hating liberals, hating Obama, hating abortion and hating same-sex marriage" Template:StiggTemplate:Ch st
   6. ^(4/12/2017) Hell hath no fury like a scorned politician's wife, right Robert Bentley? 👙
2. ^(4/16/2017) Here's how a political neophyte with a penchant for casual lying, infidelity, projection, paranoia, and a general disconnect from reality finally was removed from office. No, not that one 👙Template:Fall

Dianne Bentley

former First Lady of Alabama, don't put up with nothing from nobody

1. ^(4/12/2017) Hell hath no fury like a scorned politician's wife, right Robert Bentley? 👙

Alabama state Senate

1. ^(4/12/2017) Alabama Senate advances vote to pave way for sharia law Briarwood Presbyterian church, Birmingham, AlabamaTemplate:Miltz👄

Roy Moore

former Chief Justice of the Alabama state Supreme Court

1. ^(4/21/2017) Alabama: Mr. Roy Moore, your behavior was so egregious we're upholding your lifetime ban from being a lawyer. Moore: 'ok fine, then I'll run for governor, then I won't have to follow your silly laws anymore' 👟

Alaska

Lori Wing-Heier

Director of the Alaska Division of Insurance

1. ^(4/16/2017) Want to know how to fix Obamacare? Ask Alaska 

Alaska State Capitol

at the corner of East 4th Street and Main Street, Juneau

1. ^(4/18/2017) Wu-Tang in tha House... of Representatives music comes courtesy of "Gavel Alaska" and producer, Daniel Kirby of Juneau's public broadcasting affiliate, KTOO. When legislative session is gaveled "at-ease" the instrumental songs play on a loop.

Arizona

US District Judge Neil V. Wake

Senior Judge of the US District Court for the District of Arizona

1. ^(4/6/2017) Federal Judge overturns Arizona law that made changing a diaper an act of child molestation State v. HolleTemplate:UnconstTemplate:Ftc

Governor Doug Ducey (R AZ)

1. ^(4/18/2017) Arizona's "blue lives matter" bill signed into law, giving off-duty police officers in street clothes the same legal protection as if they were on-duty Senate Bill 1366, "Blue Lives Matter," which toughens penalty for assaulting off-duty police, to take effect summer, 2017👮🚓

Arkansas

Governor Asa Hutchinson (R AR)

1. ^(4/6/2017) Federal judge blocks 1 of 8 upcoming Arkansas executions because the execution drugs will be expired by the time they get around to executing the guy. And trust me, if you use expired execution drugs, people can get hurt clemency petition for Jason McGeheeTemplate:DuepTemplate:Dp

US District Judge D. Price Marshall Jr.

1. ^(4/6/2017) Federal judge blocks 1 of 8 upcoming Arkansas executions because the execution drugs will be expired by the time they get around to executing the guy. And trust me, if you use expired execution drugs, people can get hurt clemency petition for Jason McGeheeTemplate:DuepTemplate:Dp

California

Sacramento County Republican Party

Betsy Mahan, chair

1. ^(4/12/2017) Local Republican Party compares themselves favorably to the Borg Template:N00b

Assemblywoman Cristina Garcia (D-Bell Gardens)

1. ^(4/13/2017) L.A. assembly women want to eliminate sales taxes on tampons and diapers and increase them on alcohol which will have the added benefit of decreasing conception of babies which will decrease the need for diapers. It's the circle of life 

Assemblywoman Lorena Gonzalez Fletcher (D-San Diego)

1. ^(4/13/2017) L.A. assembly women want to eliminate sales taxes on tampons and diapers and increase them on alcohol which will have the added benefit of decreasing conception of babies which will decrease the need for diapers. It's the circle of life 

California Legislature

1. ^(4/19/2017) California Democrats legalize child prostitution Template:Legis

Cal-exit

1. ^(4/18/2017) Leader of the "Cal-exit" movement stops his push for secession, flees back to his handlers in Russia. Seriously former president, Yes California Independence Campaign, Louis Marinelli, is now seeking permanent residence in Russia🏪

Elaine M. Howle

California state auditor

1. ^(4/23/2017) California state university bosses: Look, it's essential that we continue hiring these vital staff to perform indispensable work on things. Vital things, about which it's crucial you not ask pesky questions, you meddling journalists Template:Cut

California state Senate Committee on Health

1. ^(4/27/2017) While the rest of you are getting thrown off your healthcare plans by Trump, California is moving forward on single payer care{{}}Template:Single

state Senator Ricardo Lara (D, CA, 33rd)

1. ^(4/27/2017) Are you a contractor interested in doing work on Trump's border wall? I hope you weren't planning on bidding on any state contracts in California, New York or Rhode Island afterwards 

Colorado

Arvada, Colorado Police Department

1. ^(4/10/2017) Police begin using GPS tracking darts on cars in Colorado. Poison-arrow frog version still in development StarChase "GPS bullet" is a small projectile, covered in an adhesive goop, containing a GPS locator and transmitter fired from the front of a police car👮Template:4th

Florida

Palm Beach County Commissioner Dave Kerner

1. ^(4/10/2017) Trump's golf course visits cost local county so much that they're considering a special Trump Tax Palm Beach County spends more than $60,000 a day when the president visits

Florida state (DBPR)

Department of Business and Professional Regulation performs restaurant inspections

1. ^(4/13/2017) Mar-a-Lago may be home to unhealthy parasites. The food is questionable, too 

Palm Beach County Sheriff Ric Bradshaw

1. ^(4/13/2017) "Oh, I'm sure President Trump will pay us back for the millions we're spending out of our local Sherriff office budget for his vacations" said someone who hasn't been paying attention 

Governor Rick Scott (R FL)

1. ^(4/13/2017) Florida Gov. Rick Scott's office makes no response after investigators find privatizing prisons to save money actually ended up costing the state more. To be fair, he could be answering in an inaudible pitch way above human hearing 🇨

state Senator Frank Artiles (R, FL, 40th)

1. ^(4/19/2017) Florida Man, Florida Man, talks just like a Republican Template:Joke

former state Senator Frank Artiles (R, FL, 40th)

1. ^(4/22/2017) State senator who resigned after dropping N-bombs amongst black legislators also had Hooters calendar girl, Playboy model as paid "political consultants." I guess that's what some call it these days 👙

Florida House of Representatives

1. ^(4/27/2017) Legislature considering bill to add work requirement for Medicaid recipients, because if you're poor, disabled, or elderly, be thankful we're not making you pee in a cup for healthcare within the larger Statewide Medicaid Managed Care Program (HB 7117)Template:Goalp

Georgia

Janine Eveler

Director, Cobb County Elections

1. ^(4/18/2017) ♫ The devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for souls to steal, but he changed his mind, and swiped voting machines because THIS IS NOT NORMAL IN A DEMOCRACY 4 "ExpressPoll" computers meant for the Piedmont Rd precinct and used by poll workers (not voters) were stolen from a Cobb County election official's car; theft was reported 2 days laterTemplate:Elect

state of Georgia

1. ^(4/21/2017) Georgia is trying to prevent newly registered voters from taking part in the 6th Congressional District runoff election because fark you Lawyers? Committee for Civil Rights Under Law arguing that the state is violating the National Voter Registration Act; Georgia contends runoff is a continuation of the special election this week don?t have to allow newly registered voters to participateTemplate:VoterTemplate:Votes

Hawaii

state of Hawaii

1. ^(4/12/2017) Hawaii is going all in on that travel ban fight 

Illinois

Chicago

1. ^(4/16/2017) 29 people shot in 18 hours in Chicago. That's some fine governing there, Rahm 💥

Downtown Chicago

1. ^(4/25/2017) Just like Trump's head, Trump Tower in Chicago is abnormally empty Template:Trump

Official State Crap

each individually decided by a vote in the General Assembly

1. ^(4/19/2017) As Illinois debates abolishing all of its official state whatever, here's a list of all that. Not listed: official state graft method, official state bribe amount, and official state dead voter 

state Senator Heather Steans (D IL 7th)

1. ^(4/23/2017) The state is billions of dollars behind on bills. If only there were a revenue source waiting to be tapped. Gee ... if only ... that'd be real helpful about now 

Iowa

Governor Terry Branstad (R IA)

1. ^(4/5/2017) Iowa's teachers union sues Governor Branstad for pushing through his new, anti-union collective bargaining law Template:Antiu

Iowa State Education Association

1. ^(4/5/2017) Iowa's teachers union sues Governor Branstad for pushing through his new, anti-union collective bargaining law Template:Antiu

Iowa Health Insurance Marketplace

1. ^(4/6/2017) Aetna agrees to drop out of Obamacare in Iowa to coincide with the 2018 midterms Template:2018Template:Aca

Kim Weaver

to challenge Steve King for the 4th House District

1. ^(4/17/2017) Democratic Party's best challenger to conservative lightning rod, Rep Steve King of Iowa, is a former psychic who called herself 'the Spirit Weaver' 👟

The simple farmers of Kiron, Iowa

1. ^(4/17/2017) Iowa communities who support the white nationalist policies of Steve King are vanishing at an alarming rate as the small towns skew old and the younger generation is fleeing en masse to more liberal areas like Des Moines and not Iowa Template:Old

Kansas

Kansas Legislature

1. ^(4/4/2017) Vote to expand Medicaid in KS wins 81-44. Which was three votes short of passing Template:Medic🔥

Secretary of State Kris Kobach

1. ^(4/5/2017) Remember that administration blueprint that Kansas Sec of State Kris Kobach accidentally leaked to the public by having it visible during a photo-op? It's now about to become evidence in an ongoing lawsuit against him 🔥Template:Votef

Kansas’s 4th District Special Election

incumbent Mike Pompeo, now Director of the CIA

• Candidates
  • Kansas state GOP Treasurer Ron Estes
  • Democrat James Thompson
  • Libertarian Chris Rockhold

1. ^(4/11/2017) Republicans worried about losing congressional seat in Kansas due to public displeasure with Brownback's inability to math and have enlisted the 2nd least popular politician in the country to help 
   1. ^(4/12/2017) DNC: Fark Kansas 🔥
   2. ^(4/12/2017) Tuesday: ZOMG Dems gonna take this special election in Kansas and prove Trump is hated by all and Congress will turn red states blue in 2018. It's soooo close. Wednesday: Crickets after Democrat is crushed by nearly double digits 😂🔥

Kentucky

Kentucky Coal Mining Museum

1. ^(4/6/2017) Kentucky Coal Mining Museum converts to solar power 

Governor Matt Bevin (R KY)

1. ^(4/24/2017) Matt Bevin (R-ewards Program) wants to combine the worst parts of loyalty cards, healthcare, and the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice. Paul Ryan and Donald Trump both seen making notes Bevin's Medicaid reform would cut benefits, charge low-income recipients monthly premiums and co-payments for services while making them jump through hoops to earn health coverage points; failure to pay premiums or "inappropriate" use of emergency rooms would result in loss of "points" or servicesTemplate:WagerTemplate:GoppolTemplate:Goalp🐆Template:Stigg

Tim Nolan

former judge; current member Campbell County School Board, district 5; Tea Party supporter; indicted sexual predator

1. ^(4/23/2017) Another Trump Campaign Chair has been indicted for minor sex trafficking. What is it with Republicans and kids? charges from indictment, The River City News

Maine

Governor Paul LePage (R ME)

1. ^(4/12/2017) Turns out Governor LePage doesn't have the power to pardon a dog Template:Duck

Maryland

Maryland General Assembly

HB0177 allows beekeepers to shoot black bears, without a hunting license, if their hives are threatened by one

1. ^(4/13/2017) Winnie the Pooh seen nervously fleeing Maryland 🐺

Maryland

• state Senator Robert Zirkin
  chairman, Judicial Proceedings Committee
• state Delegate David Moon
• state Delegate Brett Wilson
• state Delegate Joseph Vallario Jr.
• state Senator William Smith
• state Senator Michael Hough

1. ^(4/17/2017) Rape law reform botched by all-male panel 

Governor Larry Hogan (R MD)

1. ^(4/18/2017) Rape victims will no longer have to prove they physically fought back in Maryland. In other news, rape victims had to prove they fought back in Maryland until now Template:LateTemplate:Drac

Massachusetts

state Senator Bruce Tarr (R, MA, 1st EM)

state Senate Minority Leader

1. ^(4/9/2017) Since Congress won't protect your internet privacy, states are taking matters into their own hands. Bonus: Massachusetts GOP introduced the bill 

Michigan

Michigan Department of Health and Human Services

1. ^(4/3/2017) How many fish from the Detroit River is it safe to eat? It depends on the type, experts say: four Rock bass a month, two Bullhead, and just stay away from the Brown Trout Template:Tox

former state Rep. Cindy Gamrat (R, MI, 80th)

1. ^(4/11/2017) So much for personal responsibility: expelled Michigan tea party representative sues state government, ex-husband for fallout over her affair with fellow tea partier cheated on husband with former Rep. Todd Courser (R, MI, 82nd)👙

Minnesota

Minnesota Legislature

1. ^(4/4/2017) Republicans say protesters who block roads and disrupt transit deserve to go to jail. No word on protesters blocking ships or disrupting tea shipments Template:1stTemplate:Blm

Missouri

state Rep. Nick Schroer (R, MO, 107th)

1. ^(4/11/2017) Gun bill in Missouri house would make business owners who post signs prohibiting concealed firearms responsible for injuries sustained during any criminal act involving guns on their property MO HB96, "Allows persons authorized to carry firearms under chapter 571 to sue for certain injuries sustained on the property of business enterprises that voluntarily prohibit firearms"

Montana

Don Petrini

trustee candidate for Great Falls Public Schools Board, Great Falls, Montana

1. ^(4/3/2017) When running for the school board you should probably refrain from posting ultra-conservative and racist posts on your Facebook account 

Nebraska

Nebraska Public Service Commission

an elected board with independent authority over TransCanada's proposed route

1. ^(4/20/2017) Nebraskan farmers to make the strongest, most compelling case than we've ever heard against Keystone pipeline by pointing out how it may hurt some white people Template:Keypipe
   1. ^(4/23/2017) Fox News host interviews Nebraska farmer she's sure will agree with her claims the Keystone XL pipeline will make the U.S. energy independent. That's when he reminded her the oil it transfers isn't from the U.S. Art Tanderup, Nebraska farmerTemplate:Keypipe

Nevada

Gold Butte National Monument

federal lands in Nevada near Bundy Ranch

1. ^(4/26/2017) Trump to sign EO Wednesday that is basically a gigantic FARK YOU to millions of acres of national land under Federal protection since 1996 Template:Stigg🍆

New Hampshire

state Rep. Robert Fisher (R, NH, Belknap Co. 9th)

1. ^(4/25/2017) Daily Beast investigates "Red Pill", a subreddit dedicated to MRAs who blame feminism for all of their self-inflicted problems, and discovers that it was created by New Hampshire congressman Robert Fisher 

New Jersey

Governor Chris Christie (R NJ)

1. ^(4/11/2017) Latest Poll shows Chris Christie (R) now officially the most unpopular governor in America. We should celebrate that by suggesting to rename Fort Lee's George Washington Bridge into Chris Christie Bridge 
2. ^(4/12/2017) Hopefully Trump's future FAA head Chris Christie says "Everybody who flies, everybody who flies commercially knows that United is awful" calls on the administration to "review how the airlines are using overbooking, stop them from doing it," 👮
3. ^(4/17/2017) Chris Christie is giving up on throngs. Now there's an image I can do without Template:DuckTemplate:Retire

Brian McDowell

former "The Apprentice" contestant, GOP candidate New Jersey General Assembly, district 1

1. ^(4/14/2017) GOP pulls support for candidate after video surfaces of him propositioning a woman, telling her she should fark him. He insists he won't withdraw over a mistake, after all, even Jesus dropped the cross 3 times 👙👟

New Mexico

Governor Susana Martinez (R NM)

1. ^(4/17/2017) New Mexico governor vetoes all higher education funding, astonishing everyone with news that there are universities in New Mexico 

New York

Donald J. Trump, Jr.

possible candidate for governor

1. ^(4/6/2017) If New York ever wanted to know what it would be like had Patrick Bateman run for governor, they may find out if Donald Trump Jr. follows through with his threat Template:Djtjr👟
   1. ^(4/11/2017) New York spared from having an American psycho run for governor in 2018 as Trump Jr. wants to spend more time listening to Phil Collins-era Genesis Template:Djtjr

state of New York

1. ^(4/6/2017) New York approves testing for self-driving cars, wants to see if autonomous vehicles will figure out how to flip the bird at, cut off, and shoot at other drivers 

New York City Police Department

1. ^(4/10/2017) NYPD releases bodycam policies, which provide no avenue for public access, no punishment for failure to comply, and allows the officers to view bodycam footage before submitting a report, thus letting them modify the report to fit the footage 👮

Bo Dietl

former New York City detective, candidate for mayor of NYC

1. ^(4/17/2017) You are a candidate for NYC mayor, and you owe the state $500k taxes. Do you c) blame Muslims for your predicament? 👟Template:Goat

Governor Andrew Cuomo (D NY)

1. ^(4/20/2017) Andrew Cuomo made $783K in royalties on a book that sold fewer copies than the Esperanto version of Drew's book memoir called "All Things Possible"Template:Merch

Mayor Bill de Blasio (D NYC)

1. ^(4/27/2017) NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio unveils his fat $84 billion budget to counter President Trump's "skinny budget". Enjoy your new 'skinny' diet of cat food NY City residents 

state Assemblywoman Nily Rozic (D, NY, 25th)

1. ^(4/27/2017) Are you a contractor interested in doing work on Trump's border wall? I hope you weren't planning on bidding on any state contracts in California, New York or Rhode Island afterwards 

North Carolina

the state of North Carolina

1. ^(4/4/2017) North Carolina to NCAA: Hey guys, we sorta kinda didn't really repeal HB2, so can we have our basketball tournaments back, pretty please? NCAA: Looks legit Template:Qpq

state Rep. Larry Pittman (R, NC, 82nd)

1. ^(4/12/2017) North Carolina legislators: go be gay married somewhere else House Bill 780 “Uphold Historical Marriage Act”
2. ^(4/13/2017) NC GOP: Hitler gets a bad rap, and there has never been anyone more evil than Lincoln ≠Template:Godw

state Rep. Michael Speciale (R , NC, 3rd)

1. ^(4/12/2017) North Carolina legislators: go be gay married somewhere else House Bill 780 “Uphold Historical Marriage Act”

state Rep. Carl Ford (R, NC, 76th)

1. ^(4/12/2017) North Carolina legislators: go be gay married somewhere else House Bill 780 “Uphold Historical Marriage Act”

State Board of Elections

1. ^(4/21/2017) NC Republicans: "Voter fraud runs rampant in North Carolina." Auditors seen doing some sort of hand jerking motion Template:Avotef🚓

Judge Doug McCullough

state Court of Appeals, retired

1. ^(4/25/2017) Proof that not all members of the GOP are worthless farking pieces of shiat. Republican judge retires so that a Democratic judge can take his spot before the seat is eliminated. Fark: NC Judge Template:Retire

Governor Roy Cooper (D NC)

1. ^(4/25/2017) Proof that not all members of the GOP are worthless farking pieces of shiat. Republican judge retires so that a Democratic judge can take his spot before the seat is eliminated. Fark: NC Judge Template:Retire

Judge John Arrowood

state Court of Appeals, new

1. ^(4/25/2017) Proof that not all members of the GOP are worthless farking pieces of shiat. Republican judge retires so that a Democratic judge can take his spot before the seat is eliminated. Fark: NC Judge Template:Retire

Oklahoma

state House of Representatives

'Rev. Lori Walke, pastor of Mayflower Congregational Church

1. ^(4/14/2017) Actual prayer in the OK Legislature : "We pray, oh God, that our elected officials will have the courage to take care of our kids instead of upgrading the executive suites in Chesapeake arena." Fark: there is video 

Oregon

Douglas County Sheriff John Hanlin

1. ^(4/8/2017) "The sheriff also said he doesn't think the release of images gathered by police promotes accountability. He said it's not the job of journalists to look for wrongdoing by police" 👮Template:Creep

City of Portland

1. ^(4/13/2017) "Five years ago, I never would have envisioned myself suing a president of the United States on an issue that I believe is an issue of morality, and yet here we are" 

Somewhere in America

presumably, since not one news source--not even the one that posted his obituary--deigned to provide this information

1. ^(4/18/2017) Man able to die in peace after learning Trump had been impeached. We should all be so lucky imp{{}}

Alliance for Youth Action

1. ^(4/26/2017) After becoming the first state in the nation to enact automatic voter registration, turnout increased 20% among voters ages 18 to 29 and 26% among minority voters Template:Votea

Pennsylvania

Lt. Governor Mike Stack (D PA)

1. ^(4/14/2017) So why does Pennsylvania have a lieutenant governor? Why does any state have one? Template:Hint

Rhode Island

state Rep. Aaron Regunberg (D, RI, 4th)

1. ^(4/27/2017) Are you a contractor interested in doing work on Trump's border wall? I hope you weren't planning on bidding on any state contracts in California, New York or Rhode Island afterwards 

South Carolina

Sheri Few

candidate for 5th district of South Carolina, previously held by Mick Mulvaney who is now the director of the Office of Management and Budget

1. ^(4/27/2017) South Carolina candidate for Congress: 'Well, if'n those Politically Correct pussies are gonna get rid of our monuments to the glorious Confederacy, how 'bout we get rid of some of them slavery memorials?' That's a bold strategy, Cotton Template:Confed

Tennessee

Tennessee state legislature

1. ^(4/12/2017) Chattanooga has the fastest, most affordable internet in US, and wanted to expand to nearby rural areas, under served by telecoms, at no taxpayer expense. Tennessee legislature decides to pay AT&T and Comcast $45 million in taxpayer subsidies instead "Broadband Accessibility Act of 2017"🐆

Governor Bill Haslsm (R TN)

1. ^(4/12/2017) Chattanooga has the fastest, most affordable internet in US, and wanted to expand to nearby rural areas, under served by telecoms, at no taxpayer expense. Tennessee legislature decides to pay AT&T and Comcast $45 million in taxpayer subsidies instead "Broadband Accessibility Act of 2017"🐆

state House of Representatives

sponsor Rep. Dennis Powers (R, TN, 36th)

1. ^(4/15/2017) Bernie's dream has come through. Free college in that deep blue, tree hugging, Birkenstock wearing state of ... Tennessee TN HB0531, which enacts the Tennessee reconnect grant offers adults without a college degree or certificate attend community college free of charge

Texas

state Rep. Jessica Farrar (D, TX, 148th)

1. ^(4/6/2017) Texas masturbation bill is now in the hairy hands of the Texas State Affairs Committee House Bill 4620, "Men's Right to Know Act," would penalize men for "unregulated masturbatory emissions"
2. ^(4/4/2017) Texas lawmakers taking steps to legalize fantasy sports. Excellent, all my years of practicing wombat jousting are finally going to pay off Template:Wager

US District Judge Nelva Gonzales Ramos

District Court for the Southern District of Texas

1. ^(4/11/2017) Texas judge ruled for a second time that the state's voter ID laws discriminate against minorities. If she has to tell them again, she threatened to put Texas in timeout until it can play nice with everyone Veasey v. AbbottTemplate:Voter

state Rep. Victoria Neave (D, TX, 107th)

1. ^(4/13/2017) Texas lawmakers seek to reduce backlog in rape kit testing by asking motorists to donate at the DMV 

state Rep. Ron Simmons (R, TX, 65th)

1. ^(4/17/2017) Texas didn't think its cunning plan through as bill that forbids cities from creating a protected class would nullify existing ordinances protecting LGBT people, veterans, the elderly, and pregnant women smrt{{}}👄

state Rep. Senfronia Thompson (D, TX, 141st)

1. ^(4/20/2017) Woman who was married by her mother, at age 14, against her will, to a 24-year old registered sex offender she'd only met the day before her wedding, thinks maybe that shouldn't be legal any more in Texas women{{}}Template:Marri

state Sen. Van Taylor (R, TX, 8th)

1. ^(4/20/2017) Woman who was married by her mother, at age 14, against her will, to a 24-year old registered sex offender she'd only met the day before her wedding, thinks maybe that shouldn't be legal any more in Texas women{{}}Template:Marri

Tahirih Justice Center

US-based non-governmental organization (NGO) that provides pro bono direct legal services and social and medical service referrals to immigrant women and girls who are fleeing from gender-based violence and persecution

1. ^(4/20/2017) Woman who was married by her mother, at age 14, against her will, to a 24-year old registered sex offender she'd only met the day before her wedding, thinks maybe that shouldn't be legal any more in Texas women{{}}Template:Marri

Mayor Ivy Taylor (D San Antonio)

1. ^(4/24/2017) And here I thought the causes of poverty included stagnant wages, increased prices, limited advancement opportunities, and corporate greed. Thanks, Mayor Taylor, for setting me straight Template:47pc

Utah

Nearby state legislatures

Okkahoma, Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota

1. ^(4/4/2017) The end of 3.2 beer in Utah could be decided by other states Template:Hand

state Legislative Management Committee

1. ^(4/13/2017) Taxes, 3.2 beer, DUI and medical marijuana on the list for Utah lawmakers to 'study' 

Bears Ears National Monument

1. ^(4/26/2017) Trump to sign EO Wednesday that is basically a gigantic FARK YOU to millions of acres of national land under Federal protection since 1996 Template:Stigg🍆

Virginia

Corey Stewart

chairman, Board of Supervisors of Prince William County, Virginia; carpetbagging candidate for Governor originally from Minnesota

1. ^(4/26/2017) After getting burned by the internet for the past day, flailing Virginia Gubernatorial candidate Corey Stewart does the only thing he can -- reach for a gas can "Liberals & snowflakes by your standard, you're not a Virginian unless you were born in Virginia? Is that how you feel about Americans, too?" (Contextual link provided by Farker)Template:AddTemplate:Dig

Washington

Mayor Ed Murray (D, Seattle)

1. ^(4/3/2017) Seattle Mayor, to Democrats: "You goddamn idiots" (paraphrased) 

West Virginia

West Virginia legislature

1. ^(4/6/2017) Bill passed to require drug programs in all W.Va. public schools which is redundant, since when Subby attended W.Va. public schools there was already an excellent drug program in place just down the alley 

Wisconsin

Governor Scott Walker (R)

1. ^(4/3/2017) Since it worked so magnificently for unemployment benefits, Scott Walker proposes drug testing Medicaid recipients Template:MedicTemplate:Hoop