View source for Drumpfster Fire Advisors/Archive/2017/April 2017

''This is an archive of '''Drumpfster Fire Advisors''' Fark threads for the month of '''April, 2017'''''<br>
Click [[Drumpfster Fire Advisors|this link]] for the current month, or [[Drumpfster Fire Advisors/Archive|here]] for the rest of the archive.

==General Institutional Fuckery==
#{{drumpfft|4/1/2017|9537283|Donald Trump has AIDes||adv}}{{1pc}}
##{{drumpfft|4/1/2017|9537137|Anti-globalist Steve Bannon got rich by being a global capitalist||1pc}}{{antig}}
##{{drumpfft|4/1/2017|9537648|The failing Washington Post doesn't mention that 14% of the counties earned more than the WH staff. Sad||poor}}{{1pc}}{{map}}
#{{drumpfft|4/2/2017|9538005|Everyone in the White House is outraged at how much influence Jared Kushner has on policy||nep}}
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543433|And at the end of the first inning, the Swamp is up, 1 to nothing||n00b}}
#{{drumpfft|4/10/2017|9547318|When Trump or his allies says someone is "good people," they are usually bad people||oped}}{{fukup}}{{nazi}}
#{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9548601|White House grapples with how to sell Trump's first 100 days. Yuuuuge branding suggestions to the right||prop}}
<!--advisor? gen follow hiring freeze-->#{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9550159|Mick Mulvaney: Okay, okay. Maybe we were too hard on you agencies. How about we let up on this hiring freeze, okay? Oh and we're still gutting almost all of your budgets. Have a good one||gopbgt}}{{fukup}}
#{{drumpfft|4/16/2017|9554901|To be clear, Trump never said where he was going to drain the swamp to ... though the drainpipes all seem to end up in the White House, for some odd reason||conflt}}{{grift}}{{trans}}{{gopgov}}
#{{drumpfft|4/18/2017|9557635|Come for the upcoming incompetence crisis, stay for the writer's break down|as of April 7, 2017, only 22 of 553 positions requiring Senate confirmation have been filled|fukup}}{{grover}}{{oped}}
#{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9561234|This might shock you, but in Trump's White House there is no clear chain of command as no one knows who's really in charge||fukup}}{{cult}}{{gopgov}}

==Overzealous Staffer(s)==
#{{drumpfft|4/24/2017|9564373|That list of things he promised to get done in his first hundred days? Overzealous campaign staffer||gopgov}}{{ozstaff}}

==Open Position(s)==
<!--
# ''at least 46 United States attorneys''
# ''Commissar for Media Relations''
-->
#{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9549143|Trump administration STILL has hundreds of unfilled positions because of backbiting, inexperience, and sheer exhaustion from being overworked. But don't worry, these guys will do great in an emergency||fukup}}{{gov}}{{micro}}{{cult}}

==Resignations==
<!--
# ''General''
#''Communications Director''
# ''Solicitor General''
# ''Deputy Secretary of State''
# ''National Security Advisor''<!--Michael Flynn's old job--><!--
# ''National Security Council Deputy''
# ''National Security Council, miscellaneous''
# ''National Security Positions''
# ''Director of Secret Service''
# ''Aid to HUD Secretary''
# ''CIA operative''
# ''Labor Secretary nominee''
-->

==New Hires==
===Stephanie Grisham===
''First Lady’s communications director, former White House spokeswoman''
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9555860|Move over Adele Dazeem and Jay-Z's baby-momma: Trump hired a circus family working out of an RV as the entertainment for this year's Easter Egg Roll|[http://www.martinfamilycircus.com Martin Family Circus]|eastr}}{{trad}}{{fukup}}

===Lindsay Reynolds===
''First Lady’s chief of staff, former associate director of the White House Visitors Office, Bush, Jr.''
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9555860|Move over Adele Dazeem and Jay-Z's baby-momma: Trump hired a circus family working out of an RV as the entertainment for this year's Easter Egg Roll|[http://www.martinfamilycircus.com Martin Family Circus]|eastr}}{{trad}}{{fukup}}


==Vladimir Putin==
''Russian President and videotape archivist''
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9542959|Sorry, but you're under arrest for that Putin as a gay clown image you have on your wall. You're hurting pooty-poot's feelings||fun}}{{tater}}
#{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9549164|It's only a matter of time before we get a "Why is USA planting fake weapons in Syria thanks to Dems and corrupt Fake Media WE MUST STOP THEM" tweet||ussr}}{{prop}}{{chemw}}{{syr}}{{cya}}
#{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9550147|"Minister Lavrov, Rex Tillerson. Nice to meet you." "Strike Syria again and you will regret it. Also, likewise"||ussr}}{{syr}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9552208|Rex Tillerson ditched US reporters for a secret meeting with his boss||prop}}{{hide}}{{ussrn}}
#{{drumpfft|4/15/2017|9554257|China goes over Trump's head to the big boss||ussr}}{{end}}{{china}}{{nk}}{{gopfp}}{{bby}}
#{{drumpfft|4/15/2017|9553696|Putin's is bigger than Trump's|the FAOB (Father of All Bombs), or Aviation Thermobaric Bomb of Increased Power allegedly weighs 15,560 lbs, carries 44 tons of TNT and four times stronger than the US MOAB|dick}}{{ussrm}}
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558920|Russia claims it can wipe out US Navy with a single electronic bomb. Huh, apparently they've managed to weaponize Skrillex|Russian Electronic Warfare (REW) allegedly can detect and neutralize any target from a ship’s system, radar, to a satellite|dick}}

==Putin's Posse==
''To view all the Fark threads discussing the connections between Trump and the Russians, please visit [[Trump-Russia Connections|this page]]''

==Roy Cohn==
''Special Advisor to the President in Charge of Paranoia''
#{{drumpfft|4/14/2017|9553533|Meet the man who inspired and fueled Trump's paranoia|[http://time.com/4690261/donald-trump-paranoid "demonizing his enemies; fabricating claims out of whole cloth; relying on conspiracy theories; expressing suspicion that others are out to get him, including the intelligence agencies, the FBI, Obama (with unsupported allegations of wiretapping), and the media; pandering to anger and fear in the populace; gross exaggeration, and distortion; xenophobia, racism, and let’s not forget misogyny"]|oped}}{{nekkid}}{{nazi}}{{fud}}{{25th}}

==Lobbyists==
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539520|"Some of Donald Trump's former campaign hands are rushing to sign lucrative deals with foreign clients, shrugging off their own pledges to avoid foreign lobbying and the president's vow to "drain the swamp."-Obvious tag explodes||lobby}}{{grift}}
#{{drumpfft|4/18/2017|9557231|You might want to sit down for this, but it looks like a powerful non-profit lobbying group that's been working like hell to stop foreign drug imports is being financed by Big Pharma. My shocked face, I hope I can get a prescription for it|non-profit lobbying group: Partnership for Safe Medicines received financing from Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America, or PhRMA|lobby}}{{rx}}

===Corey Lewandowski===
''former campaign chief, current lobbyist''
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539520|"Some of Donald Trump's former campaign hands are rushing to sign lucrative deals with foreign clients, shrugging off their own pledges to avoid foreign lobbying and the president's vow to "drain the swamp."-Obvious tag explodes||lobby}}{{grift}}

===Former Trump Campaign Staff cum Lobbyists===
# '''Bryan Lanza'''<br>''former deputy communications director for Trump2016''
##{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539520|"Some of Donald Trump's former campaign hands are rushing to sign lucrative deals with foreign clients, shrugging off their own pledges to avoid foreign lobbying and the president's vow to "drain the swamp."-Obvious tag explodes||lobby}}{{grift}}
# '''Mike Biundo'''<br>''senior adviser for Trump2016''
##{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539520|"Some of Donald Trump's former campaign hands are rushing to sign lucrative deals with foreign clients, shrugging off their own pledges to avoid foreign lobbying and the president's vow to "drain the swamp."-Obvious tag explodes||lobby}}{{grift}}
# '''Brad Gerstman'''<br>''partner at Gotham Government Relations & Communications, the NY firm worked on Trump's 2015 campaign announcement''
##{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539520|"Some of Donald Trump's former campaign hands are rushing to sign lucrative deals with foreign clients, shrugging off their own pledges to avoid foreign lobbying and the president's vow to "drain the swamp."-Obvious tag explodes||lobby}}{{grift}}

===NRA===
''National Rifle Association''
#{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9566073|How far off the map is the NRA? Even 67% of gun owners think the NRA has "been overtaken by lobbyists"||nra}}{{lobby}}{{shill}}

====Chris Cox====
''chief lobbyist, NRA''
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9559958|Because gun laws aren't lax enough and the average American's life in danger from loose firearm regulations, the NRA now wants to push forth on National Reciprocity||nra}}{{dixie}}

===National Milk Producers Federation===
''proper Murican milk sellers, not those damn milk-in-a-bag freaks''
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9560205|America's Milk Lobby says that immigration raids on dairy farms have the potential to send milk prices skyrocketing from $3.31 to $8 per gallon . In other news, we apparently have a Milk Lobby in the US||lobby}}{{goppol}}{{imm}}{{bite}}


==Special White House Office of Nepotism==
(for Ivanka and her husband, please see the "Commissars" section below)

===Donald Trump, Jr.===
''America's Uday, Executive VP of Development and Acquisitions, Trump Organization''
* "We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia"
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543246|If New York ever wanted to know what it would be like had Patrick Bateman run for governor, they may find out if Donald Trump Jr. follows through with his threat||djtjr}}{{run}}{{dk}}
##{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9548715|New York spared from having an American psycho run for governor in 2018 as Trump Jr. wants to spend more time listening to Phil Collins-era Genesis||dk}}{{djtjr}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/u2017|9552063|Trump picks up his son's phone by mistake, tweets anyhow||nazi}}{{straw}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551680|Ivanka begs her father to fire Bannon so they can protect the Trump hotel brand. And before you think it won't happen, remember, Ivanka asked for daddy to bomb Syria and now we're staring down the barrel of World War III||grift}}{{nep}}{{titch}}{{veruca}}
#{{drumpfft|4/18/2017|9557050|Trump's deep ties to organized crime||bratva}}

===Eric Trump===
''"I'm Eric!"''
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9541020|Eric Trump: 'Nepotism is kind of a factor of life'||nep}}{{dk}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551680|Ivanka begs her father to fire Bannon so they can protect the Trump hotel brand. And before you think it won't happen, remember, Ivanka asked for daddy to bomb Syria and now we're staring down the barrel of World War III||grift}}{{nep}}{{titch}}{{veruca}}
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9556330|In an interview with Fox & Friends, Eric Trump - who, as head of the Trump Organization, is not supposed to be involved in the White House - hinted that his father's administration will take action in the future on North Korea||nep}}{{dk}}{{gopfp}}{{brag}}

===Tiffany Trump===
#{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9550865|Tiffany Trump goes shopping and costs the American taxpayer thousands of dollars. It's like having the Kardashians in the White House, only way more racist||bgt}}{{nep}}
#{{drumpfft|4/18/2017|9556733|Words fail me||gmu}}

===Barron Trump===
'''Leave Barron alone.'''


==Commissars==

===Ivanka Trump===
''{{ivanka}}''
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9540990|It's almost 100 days since Trump took over as President. Let's take a look at his record so far... oh boy. Bonus: At meeting with Germans, he displayed so little knowledge of anything that they concluded that Ivanka was the more helpful of the two||rev}}{{emb}}{{fukup}}
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9541699|Ivanka Trump: "I don't know the meaning of the word 'complicit.'" Merriam-Webster: "HOLD MY FLAGON OF ALE I GOT THIS"||rsch}}{{nekkid}}
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9542480|Bannon's demotion only means one thing; the Trump kids are taking over||nep}}{{titch}}
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9542836|Donald Trump, whenever he needs to be calmed down or made to feel proud of his accomplishments||bby}}{{25th}}{{fukup}}
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543619|Even the New York Times has trouble figuring out the relationship between Donald Trump and Ivanka||fbs}}{{nep}}
#{{drumpfft|4/7/2017|9545389|Hate buffet Alex Jones leaps to Trump's defense, says Jared and Ivanka are "enemies of the Republic," blaming them for the Syria strike and "everything wrong" with the Trump administration||div}}{{blame}}{{pure}}
#{{drumpfft|4/9/2017|9546913|Bombing Syria was Ivanka's idea. Sleep well, Earth||nep}}{{shayrat}}{{fukup}}{{veruca}}
##{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9549238|Isn't it great to live in a country where you can cry to your daddy about how much it sucks that chemical weapons were used on children and actually have daddy do something about it, international treaties be dammed?||nep}}{{gov}}{{gopfp}}{{fukup}}{{veruca}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551680|Ivanka begs her father to fire Bannon so they can protect the Trump hotel brand. And before you think it won't happen, remember, Ivanka asked for daddy to bomb Syria and now we're staring down the barrel of World War III||grift}}{{nep}}{{titch}}{{veruca}}
#{{drumpfft|4/14/2017|9553073|The Stealth Caucus grabs more power in Trump's White House||meglo}}{{cult}}{{titch}}{{norm}}
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9556254|Not only is the Trump administration's "women's issues lead" not a woman, he's also a white nationalist who thinks women get paid less because they don't work as hard as men||women}}{{nazi}}{{gmu}}
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558463|White House aides grappling with their sudden notoriety as everyone wants a chance to be seen with a future criminal||celeb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9559944|Poll says the majority of Americans view Kushner and Ivanka's White House roles as inappropriate as Trump's lust for Ivanka||poll}}{{nep}}
#{{drumpfft|4/18/2017|9557585|Some really important ground was covered during Xi Jinping's visit to Mar-a-Lago, like Ivanka being granted instant trademarks on her brands in China||nep}}{{china}}{{grift}}
#{{drumpfft|4/23/2017|9562895|They say Melania is frosty with Ivanka. Well, nobody likes romantic competition from an old flame||fbs}}{{mans}}
#{{drumpfft|4/24/2017|9563974|John Oliver on Kushner and Ivanka: "I don't know enough about them to eviscerate them, you don't know enough about them to justify putting any real hopes in them. If they are the reason you are sleeping at night you should probably still be awake"||oliver}}{{unst}}{{bby}}
#{{drumpfft|4/24/2017|9564313|Why is Ivanka needing to hold Donnie's hand when he calls the space station? Dementia or afraid he is going to sexually harass a lady astronaut?||weak}}{{tired}}{{meglo}}
#{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9565849|Ivanka Trump appears on panel at international women's conference. Says her dad is a great advocate for women. Gets booed. Then tries to clarify in response to the boos. Gets laughed at. Taa derp|Merkel invited Ivanka to the [http://www.w20-germany.org Women20] summit, an international event that aims to "promote women's economic empowerment"|nep}}{{emb}}{{nekkid}}
#{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9566058|Ivanka Trump doesn't like to be called her father's 'accomplice' because "it isn't productive". How about 'colluder', 'complicitor' or 'nepotistic cheeto-crumble'? Would that be more productive?||veruka}}{{pearl}}{{bless}}
#{{drumpfft|4/26/2017|9566801|Ivanka Trump is becoming the worst parts of Hillary Clinton||nep}}{{bsabsvr}}{{msgy}}
#{{drumpfft|4/26/2017|9567168|Ivanka Trump is starting her own foundation and is now accepting Czechs||nep}}{{confl}}{{iokiyar}}

===Jared Kushner===
''Son-in-law''
#{{drumpfft|4/2/2017|9538005|Everyone in the White House is outraged at how much influence Jared Kushner has on policy||nep}}
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9538610|So...would anyone like to explain exactly why Jared Kushner is in Iraq with the head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff?||nep}}{{jcos}}
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539315|Jared Kushner so grossly overpaid for a Fifth Avenue skyscraper that the mortgage is now greater than the building's value. And this is the guy tasked to fix the federal government's inefficiencies with business ideas||grift}}{{nep}}
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9540275|Nepotism is bad, but only when the person being nepoted is a liberal like Michelle Obama, one of Bill's brothers, or Jared Kushner||nep}}{{bsabsvr}}{{4est}}
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9542075|By order of Deputy President Kushner, Steve Bannon's Internal White House "think-tank", the Strategic Initiatives Group, has been downgraded to "Never existed". Please adjust any conflicting memories you may have accordingly||payb}}{{game}}
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543730|Steve Bannon calling Jared Kushner a cuck behind his back. Who's your Daddy, Ivanka?||div}}{{pure}}
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9542480|Bannon's demotion only means one thing; the Trump kids are taking over||nep}}{{titch}}
#{{drumpfft|4/7/2017|9544301|Jared Kushner "accidentally" applied for a top security clearance in January without completing the required "foreign contacts" pages. And he's "accidentally" failed to correct that mistake during the last three months||icdir704}}{{nep}}{{fukup}}{{smrt}}{{got}}
#{{drumpfft|4/7/2017|9545376|Why does @shadowPOTUS Jared Kushner not wear a belt? Slate thinks it's a fashion statement; actually they were all confiscated by the Secret Service for his own protection||prop}}{{norm}}
#{{drumpfft|4/7/2017|9545389|Hate buffet Alex Jones leaps to Trump's defense, says Jared and Ivanka are "enemies of the Republic," blaming them for the Syria strike and "everything wrong" with the Trump administration||div}}{{blame}}{{pure}}
#{{drumpfft|4/9/2017|9546355|Former Breitbart executive warns that if Kushner pushes out Bannon, Bannon and Breitbart will launch open war on Trump||pure}}{{ult}}
#{{drumpfft|4/9/2017|9546410|President Bannon vows to not leave office||div}}{{titch}}{{prop}}
#{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9548002|American Pravda editors and columnists told to lay off Jared Kushner as he and President Bannon try to patch things up||ult}}{{div}}{{prop}}
#{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9549833|President Bannon may be losing to Uriah||prez}}{{meglo}}{{fukup}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551844|Can Jared Kushner, 36, rewrite America's trade agreements; solve Israel-Palestine conflict; write new Middle East strategy; end opioid epidemic; modernize every federal agency; and provide broadband internet to all America? Meh, let's give it a shot||dk}}{{fukup}}
#{{drumpfft|4/14/2017|9553260|White House aides Steve Bannon and Miller were once such close allies and ideological twins that Trump often called them "My two Steves" but, as one "Steve" seems headed under the bus, the other one is spending his time sucking up to Jared Kushner||div}}{{cult}}{{titch}}
#{{drumpfft|4/14/2017|9553073|The Stealth Caucus grabs more power in Trump's White House||meglo}}{{cult}}{{titch}}{{norm}}
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9556254|Not only is the Trump administration's "women's issues lead" not a woman, he's also a white nationalist who thinks women get paid less because they don't work as hard as men||women}}{{nazi}}{{gmu}}
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558133|Nepotism? I know nothing about nepotism||sat}}{{nep}}{{proj}}
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9559944|Poll says the majority of Americans view Kushner and Ivanka's White House roles as inappropriate as Trump's lust for Ivanka||poll}}{{nep}}
#{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9560619|Good News for Jared Kushner: You made the Time "100 most influential people" list. Bad News: Your write up was done by no less than Henry Kissinger himself, and, he is NOT a fan||norm}}{{prop}}
#{{drumpfft|4/24/2017|9563974|John Oliver on Kushner and Ivanka: "I don't know enough about them to eviscerate them, you don't know enough about them to justify putting any real hopes in them. If they are the reason you are sleeping at night you should probably still be awake"||oliver}}{{unst}}{{bby}}
#{{drumpfft|4/27/2017|9568363|Jared Kushner built a real estate empire with help from a rich Israeli family, some bribes, and a few other conflicts of interest||1pc}}{{confl}}{{ussrb}}

====Beny Steinmetz====
''co-founder, Hermitage Capital, a Russian hedge fund firm''
* currently under investigation in the US, Guinea, Israel and Switzerland for different briberies
* provided funding to Kushner Companies for downpayments on $190 million in purchases in NYC in 2012
#{{drumpfft|4/27/2017|9568363|Jared Kushner built a real estate empire with help from a rich Israeli family, some bribes, and a few other conflicts of interest||1pc}}{{confl}}{{ussrb}}

====Kushner Companies====
''Kushner family real estate firm; received funding from Steinmetz for downpayments on $190 million in purchases in NYC in 2012''
#{{drumpfft|4/27/2017|9568363|Jared Kushner built a real estate empire with help from a rich Israeli family, some bribes, and a few other conflicts of interest||1pc}}{{confl}}{{ussrb}}

===Independent Journal Review===
''founded by former Republican party staffers Alex Skatell and Phil Musser in 2012''

===America First Policies===
''[http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/national-international/Trump-Advisers-Start-America-First-Policies-Nonprofit-412189843.html "capture all people who believe in the Trump agenda"]''
* Rick Gates, former deputy campaign manager 
* Brad Parscale, Trump's digital and data director  
* Nick Ayers, Pence campaign advisor
* Marty Obst, Pence campaign advisor
** David Bossie
** Katrina Pierson


==Joint Chiefs of Staff==
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9538610|So...would anyone like to explain exactly why Jared Kushner is in Iraq with the head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff?||nep}}{{jcos}}


==Special White House Think Tanks and Working Groups==
===White House Office of American Innovation===
''the group aims to develop fresh solutions to persistent problems afflicting American society''
* director Jared Kushner
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9556254|Not only is the Trump administration's "women's issues lead" not a woman, he's also a white nationalist who thinks women get paid less because they don't work as hard as men||women}}{{nazi}}{{gmu}}

===Financial Stability Oversight Council===
''created by the Dodd-Frank Wall Street reform law''
* chairman Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin

===Climate Leadership Council===
''Members include:''
* former Secretary of State James Baker III
* former Secretary of State George Schultz
* former Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson

===Strategic Initiatives Group===
''[https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/17/us/politics/dr-sebastian-gorka.html created by Bannon and Kushner] [https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/17/us/politics/dr-sebastian-gorka.html to work on issues of foreign policy decisions and national strategy and security; possibly duplicating the work of the National Security Council]''
* members include Sebastian Gorka
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9542075|By order of Deputy President Kushner, Steve Bannon's Internal White House "think-tank", the Strategic Initiatives Group, has been downgraded to "Never existed". Please adjust any conflicting memories you may have accordingly||payb}}{{game}}

==National Security Council==
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9542274|The dumbest farking human being ever just got put on the National Security Council||smrt}}{{fukup}}

<!--
# ''Deputy''
# ''Staff''
# ''Victoria Coates''
-->

===H.R. McMaster===
''National Security Advisor''
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9542082|Bannon removed from National Security Council. Is it Christmas already?||titch}}{{xo}}
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9555807|Tillerson and Mattis are forming the Axis of Adults in the Trump administration||norm}}{{emb}}{{bby}}{{gopfp}}

===Principals Committee of the National Security Council===
* Tom Bossert, Homeland Security Advisor
* Dan Coats, National Intelligence Director
* Marine Corps General Joseph Dunford, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9542082|Bannon removed from National Security Council. Is it Christmas already?||titch}}{{xo}}
##{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543450|Bannon, who never attended a meeting of the National Security Council, will continue to attend meetings of the National Security Council despite stepping down, got that?||titch}}{{lie}}

====Director of National Intelligence====
#{{drumpfft|4/24/2017|9564678|Entire senate called to White House for briefing on NOKO, oh no|technically a Senate briefing called by Majority Leader, McConnell|trip}}{{nk}}{{brief}}
##{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9565285|Senators: Yeah, Donnie, we're not gonna be part of some photo-op to make it seem like you actually accomplished something in your first 100 days|the auditorium in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building was converted into a temporary SCIF (sensitive compartmented information facility) for full Senate briefing on North Korea, 4/24/2017|nekkid}}{{prop}}

==Mike Pence==
''"Vice" President''
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9539987|Pence may win over Freedom Caucus members by allowing states to get Obamacare waivers||care}}{{qpq}}
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543198|Secret Service agent on Pence's detail caught meeting hooker. Oh mother||xxx}}{{fukup}}
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9556322|Pence says Syria strike and the MOAB were really messages to North Korea, at least until next week when Spicer says they were messages to Iran, or the week after when Trump says they were love notes to Putin||prez}}{{unst}}{{dk}}
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9559197|If North Korea tests us our armada will attack Australia.... -Mike Pence||gopfp}}{{weak}}
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9560480|Donald Trump's Bible study group|Ralph Drollinger, an evangelical Christian, conducts the "Capitol Ministries Cabinet Bible study"|gmu}}{{ch_st}}
#{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9561702|Mike Pence says he went outside to look at the North Koreans on the other side of the DMZ so they could "see the resolve in my face"||weak}}{{emb}}

==Shadow Cabinet==

==Reince Priebus==
''Chief of Staff''
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539021|Right-wing trolls have turned on one another and are now attacking Team Trump||cult}}{{pure}}{{cyber}}
#{{drumpfft|4/7/2017|9544969|Reports from inside the White House say Trump is seriously considering firing BOTH his chaotic evil Berserker Steve Bannon AND his lawful evil Cleric Reince Pribus, leaving only his neutral evil gnome Thief son-in-law running things||titch}}{{unst}}
#{{drumpfft|4/10/2017|9547671|WH sources say Trump, possibly just to mess with EVERYONE is considering making economic adviser Gary Cohn Chief of Staff. Cohn is a Goldman-Sachs Alum, but a Democrat, in favor of a carbon tax and reinstating Glass-Steagall, and against big tax cuts||spec}}{{titch}}

===Katie Walsh===
''Preibus deputy''
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539021|Right-wing trolls have turned on one another and are now attacking Team Trump||cult}}{{pure}}{{cyber}}

==Steve Bannon==
''White House chief strategist and Lumpy James May[http://fark.com/9461939/107219893], Gentleman Fascist[http://fark.com/9461939/107219951]''
#{{drumpfft|4/1/2017|9537137|Anti-globalist Steve Bannon got rich by being a global capitalist||1pc}}{{antig}}
#{{drumpfft|4/1/2017|9537159|Leopard: "I'm not some leopard. Your face is safe"||prop}}
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539021|Right-wing trolls have turned on one another and are now attacking Team Trump||cult}}{{pure}}{{cyber}}
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9542075|By order of Deputy President Kushner, Steve Bannon's Internal White House "think-tank", the Strategic Initiatives Group, has been downgraded to "Never existed". Please adjust any conflicting memories you may have accordingly||payb}}{{game}}
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9542082|Bannon removed from National Security Council. Is it Christmas already?||titch}}{{xo}}
##{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9542480|Bannon's demotion only means one thing; the Trump kids are taking over||nep}}{{titch}}
##{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543183|Drunk uncle Bannon threatened to quit in a snit if removed from the NSC but a megadonor begged him to stay and rein in Trump||lie}}{{rw}}{{titch}}
##{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543450|Bannon, who never attended a meeting of the National Security Council, will continue to attend meetings of the National Security Council despite stepping down, got that?||titch}}{{lie}}
##{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543610|24 hours before his ouster from the NSC, Bannon told friends he was preparing to battle to keep his seat saying "I love a good gunfight", but in the end the "gunfight" turned out like the one between Wyatt Earp and the Faro dealer in "Tombstone"||titch}}
##{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543730|Steve Bannon calling Jared Kushner a cuck behind his back. Who's your Daddy, Ivanka?||div}}{{pure}}
#{{drumpfft|4/9/2017|9546355|Former Breitbart executive warns that if Kushner pushes out Bannon, Bannon and Breitbart will launch open war on Trump||pure}}{{ult}}
#{{drumpfft|4/9/2017|9546410|President Bannon vows to not leave office||div}}{{titch}}{{prop}}
#{{drumpfft|4/7/2017|9544969|Reports from inside the White House say Trump is seriously considering firing BOTH his chaotic evil Berserker Steve Bannon AND his lawful evil Cleric Reince Pribus, leaving only his neutral evil gnome Thief son-in-law running things||titch}}{{unst}}
#{{drumpfft|4/10/2017|9547676|Joe Scarborough slams President Bannon: 'This guy can't implement making a ham sandwich'||div}}{{prop}}{{gov}}
#{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9548002|American Pravda editors and columnists told to lay off Jared Kushner as he and President Bannon try to patch things up||ult}}{{div}}{{prop}}
#{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9549833|President Bannon may be losing to Uriah||prez}}{{meglo}}{{fukup}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551680|Ivanka begs her father to fire Bannon so they can protect the Trump hotel brand. And before you think it won't happen, remember, Ivanka asked for daddy to bomb Syria and now we're staring down the barrel of World War III||grift}}{{nep}}{{titch}}{{veruca}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551728|Trump insiders swear up and down that Bannon is in no danger, so we should probably start taking bets on if he'll make it to Easter, or May even||titch}}{{prop}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551965|Trump is very upset by people referring to Bannon as the real President. It shouldn't be so easy to troll the President, because if a bunch of bloggers can do it, so can a foreign power, and it is something President Kushner will have to deal with||weak}}{{25th}}
#{{drumpfft|4/14/2017|9553260|White House aides Steve Bannon and Miller were once such close allies and ideological twins that Trump often called them "My two Steves" but, as one "Steve" seems headed under the bus, the other one is spending his time sucking up to Jared Kushner||div}}{{cult}}{{titch}}
#{{drumpfft|4/14/2017|9553228|As Bannon looks headed for a pink slip. let's review his reasonable and rational responses to other personal and professional conflicts to predict how he might react to this one. TLDR: Bannon is a "drink from the skulls of my enemies" kinda guy||rsch}}{{div}}{{ult}}
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558385|Trump may defy President Bannon by keeping Obama's Paris climate change agreement||clich}}{{trty}}{{pure}}
#{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9561305|Trump done just blowed up this here conservative media I tell you what||oped}}{{div}}
#{{drumpfft|4/24/2017|9564442|How Hollywood remembers Steve Bannon: "Who?"||past}}
#{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9565804|Drew's friends' favorite website denied Capitol Hill press credentials. Guess we'll see more links to it in the future|committee declined to extend temporary passes for Breitbart beyond their May 31, 2017 expiration date; also noted that Bannon?s White House financial disclosure included a different date of his separation from Breitbart than CEO Larry Solov had originally indicated|4est}}{{prop}}{{confl}}

===Moustafa El-Gindy===
''former Egyptian legislator, businessman and owner of Breitbart’s Washington DC office''

===Robert Mercer===
''billionaire, donor, created super PAC Make America Number 1, backed Breitbart News''
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551596|FEC filing accuses Trump of receiving illegal campaign donations, being orange||campfin}}
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9559940|The Koch Brothers are teaming up with Betsy DeVos to bring hate speech onto college campuses across the country||antied}}{{prop}}{{nazi}}{{trkl}}

===Mercer Family===
#{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9565804|Drew's friends' favorite website denied Capitol Hill press credentials. Guess we'll see more links to it in the future|committee declined to extend temporary passes for Breitbart beyond their May 31, 2017 expiration date; also noted that Bannon?s White House financial disclosure included a different date of his separation from Breitbart than CEO Larry Solov had originally indicated|4est}}{{prop}}{{confl}}


==Stephen Miller==
''Assistant to the President''
#{{drumpfft|4/14/2017|9553260|White House aides Steve Bannon and Miller were once such close allies and ideological twins that Trump often called them "My two Steves" but, as one "Steve" seems headed under the bus, the other one is spending his time sucking up to Jared Kushner||div}}{{cult}}{{titch}}
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9556254|Not only is the Trump administration's "women's issues lead" not a woman, he's also a white nationalist who thinks women get paid less because they don't work as hard as men||women}}{{nazi}}{{gmu}}

==Roger Stone==
''Top. Advisor.''
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9560131|Suspected Russian collaborator Roger Stone shows us his Richard Nixon bong, personal glamour shots, and Christmas tree to celebrate 4/20. Classic Roger||norm}}{{mj}}

==Sebastian v. Gorka==
''Deputy assistant to President, counter-terrorism advisor''
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9539904|Trump's shadowy counter-terrorism advisor Sebastian Gorka endorsed a racist Hungarian militia||nazi}}
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9540925|Pro-tip: If you are a high profile administration figure, and want to edit your wikipedia page to erase your criminal history, please use an alt user account instead of your personal account that has your last name in the username to do it||cya}}{{cyber}}{{smrt}}
#{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9565379|College students "scare away" Donald Trump's counterterrorism advisor by asking questions. Sad||nazi}}{{xop}}{{libmsm}}{{gmu}}

===Order of Vitez===
''several groups claim the name "Order of Vitéz," some have Nazi affiliations, others do not[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Order_of_Vit%25C3%25A9z]''
* "vitéz" is the Hungarian word for "knight"
#{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9565379|College students "scare away" Donald Trump's counterterrorism advisor by asking questions. Sad||nazi}}{{xop}}{{libmsm}}{{gmu}}
#{{drumpfft|4/26/2017|9567538|Trump administration member Sebastian Gorka's political science degree is an Alt.PhD|Gorka's PhD dissertation: "Content and End-State-based Alteration in the Practice of Political Violence since the End of the Cold War: the difference between the terrorism of the Cold War and the terrorism of al Qaeda: the rise of the ?transcendental terrorist"" from Corvinus University of Budapest|nazi}}{{lie}}

==Peter Theil==
''Advisor to the President''

==Carter Page==
''American oil industry consultant, foreign policy advisor''
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9539896|Carter Page becomes the latest Trump adjutant with links to Russian spies||ussrsa}}{{page}}
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9540719|Preet Bharara was prosecuting Carter Page's Russian spy handler when Donald Trump fired him (Some possibly Not safe for work ads on page)||ussr}}{{trial}}{{page}}
#{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9549612|US official: FBI obtained a FISA warrant on former Trump advisor Carter Page|Anonymous US official|ussr}}{{page}}
##{{drumpfft|4/14/2017|9553068|Andrew Napolitano doesn't believe Carter Page is being investigated||fud}}{{page}}
##{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9550370|The more they look at Trump, the more they see an independent patriot||cult}}{{oc2.2}}{{ussrb}}{{page}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551875|Carter Page admits "something may have come up" in his conversations with Russians about lifting sanctions||ussrsa}}{{page}}
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9556160|Ex-British lawmaker: Intelligence sources believe tape exists of Trump asking Russia for election help in return for fostering closer US-Russia ties|Louise Mensch, former Conservative member of British Parliament|prop}}{{page}}
#{{drumpfft|4/22/2017|9562652|Carter Page insists he's only named like the antagonist in a bad political thriller||norm}}{{cya}}{{prop}}{{page}}
#{{drumpfft|4/27/2017|9568915|Why did Carter Page agree to a confidentiality agreement with Russia?|[https://mobile.twitter.com/SethAbramson/status/857630974498230273 tweeted] "BREAKING: Carter Page reveals that Russians swore him (and J.D. Gordon) to secrecy regarding their RNC conversation"|ussr}}{{page}}

==Paul Manafort==
{{manafort}}
#{{drumpfft|4/10/2017|9547320|Paul Manafort got an illegal tax break on his New York area condo. Did this guy do anything legal?||taxf}}
#{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|955042|Two entries in Yanukovych's little black book happen to match amounts deposited into Manafort's accounts, through defunct companies in Central America||ussrb}}{{laund}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551557|On the day he resigned, former unpaid intern, Paul Manafort, took out several millions of dollars in loans from Trump-backed businesses. Possibly as payment for his services||laund}}{{ussrb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551854|Manafort "charmed" Trump, with the prospect of being an "Affordable " Campaign Manager, and by "affordable" he meant he wouldn't charge him until his job was over, and then he took a 12 million dollar charge for his 4 months of trouble||grift}}{{ussr}}
#{{drumpfft|4/18/2017|9557050|Trump's deep ties to organized crime||bratva}}

==Boris Epshteyn==
''former Commissar for Media Relations''
''Assistant Communications Director for Surrogate Operations''

==Michael Flynn (ret.)==
''former National Security Adviser''
<!--# Junior-->
#{{drumpfft|4/2/2017|9537909|I'm sure he had his treasons||flynn}}{{payo}}{{rt}}

==Don McGahn==
''White House counsel''
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9540361|"See kids? This is what people a hundred years ago in 2017 were like. You know...morons"||cyber}}{{hist}}
#{{drumpfft|4/22/2017|9562466|The CIA liaison to the White House was fired for doing his job well||drip}}{{oc1.0}}

==Michael Cohen==
''President's personal lawyer''
#{{drumpfft|4/18/2017|9557050|Trump's deep ties to organized crime||bratva}}

==Ezra Cohen-Watnick==
''Senior director for intelligence programs, National Security Council, one of Nunes' leakers''
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558508|Devin Nunes says he was pressured to manufacture a scandal by the White House||tool}}{{cya}}
##{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558631|White House looked for *any* evidence they could spin to support Trump's "wiretapping" tweets, and the best they came with was that? OBVIOUS tag seen bailing out of an Uber, screaming, "I'm out"||cya}}{{fud}}
#{{drumpfft|4/22/2017|9562466|The CIA liaison to the White House was fired for doing his job well||drip}}{{oc1.0}}

==John Eisenberg==
''top lawyer for the National Security Council, reports to White House counsel Donald McGahn, was informed of the Nunes docs''
#{{drumpfft|4/22/2017|9562466|The CIA liaison to the White House was fired for doing his job well||drip}}{{oc1.0}}

==Michael Ellis==
''former counsel for House Intelligence Committee; Deputy National Security Council Legal Advisor who reports to Eisenberg and White House counsel Donald McGahn, one of Nunes' leakers''
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558508|Devin Nunes says he was pressured to manufacture a scandal by the White House||tool}}{{cya}}
##{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558631|White House looked for *any* evidence they could spin to support Trump's "wiretapping" tweets, and the best they came with was that? OBVIOUS tag seen bailing out of an Uber, screaming, "I'm out"||cya}}{{fud}}
#{{drumpfft|4/22/2017|9562466|The CIA liaison to the White House was fired for doing his job well||drip}}{{oc1.0}}

==Erik Prince==
''Secret Advisor''
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539624|Betsy DeVos' brother, a founder of Blackwater, met a Russian official in the Seychelles to set up a back-channel between Trump and the Russian. The meeting was arranged by the UAE. That's enough for bingo, right?||ussr}}{{blkw}}{{nep}}
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9541690|Carl Bernstein tells Jason Miller Prince was part of Trump's campaign. Yeah, I assumed he was talking about the late singer too, but he was referring to Russian collaborator Erik Prince; everyone knows Prince the singer was a fan of Clinton||ussr}}

==Silicon Valley Techbros==
#{{drumpfft|4/10/2017|9547799|News: Tesla passes General Motors to become the most valuable US automaker. A feat considering they lost $773 million in 2016 and have yet to find mass market adoption. Fark: Even Elon Musk thinks the stock is overvalued||usmfg}}{{newtech}}
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9559911|Meet the right-wing "shiatposting" tech bro that gave Trump $100,000 for his inauguration|Palmer Luckey|cult}}{{prop}}

==Jerry Falwell==
''higher education reform task force''

==Grover Norquist==
''president, Americans for Tax Reform''
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558564|"Charitably donations? We should cap those," believes Donald Trump||{{taxr}}{{got}}

==Pat Robertson==
''Advisor to the President in hate-related matters''
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9540284|Pat Robertson says we've all been "dominated" by homosexuals||lgbtq}}{{disc}}

==Rudy Giuliani==
''former NYC mayor, drag performer, "terrorism" "expert"''

==Pat Buchanan==
''Oval Office groupie''
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9541644|Sack of hate potatoes Pat Buchanan calls Vladimir Putin "godly," says the Russian/US President will fight "self-indulgent secularism"||gmu}}{{vlad}}

==Richard Spencer==
''Whiteness Advisor''

==Supreme Court Nominee Neil Gorsuch==
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539268|Sen. Lindsey Graham: If democrats filibuster Gorsuch, that'll be the end of bipartisanship on judges. What? I'm being serious. Stop laughing||nom}}{{fillb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539417|Prepare your bunker, nuclear turtle inbound||fillb}}{{nom}}
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9538986|There is bipartisan fear of the Nuclear Option and subsequent fallout over Gorsuch||nom}}{{spec}}
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9540009|The GOP doesn't understand why the Democrats want to block the Goresuch nomination to SCOTUS. They can only conclude its because Democrats are mean poopy heads and everyone should just vote Republican||nom}}{{spec}}
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9540355|It's do or die for both sides as the Gorsuch nomination comes up for a full debate. Will the Democrats unleash the filibuster now, or will they wait? Will Yertle demand the nuclear option? It's your Official Gorsuch Confirmation Discussion Thread|Live thread|conf}}{{nom}}{{vote}}
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9540801|The GOP must punish Democrats for decades of unprecedented escalations||nom}}{{fillb}}{{proj}}
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9541617|Gorsuch may not be the astute scholar people think he is. Why it's almost like he can pull thoughts out of time and space and from many different people. In other news, the WH is in denial. Not necessarily about this, just on general principle||dk}}{{plagia}}{{nom}}{{scotus}}
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543248|Yertle believes his shell will protect him from fallout||consq}}{{fillb}}{{game}}
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543374|I speak in 15 hour blocks, that's how I roll. #WINNING I have one fear: Trump #EPICWINNING "Are you bi-polar?" I'm bicameral. WIN here WIN there everywhere WIN WIN||game}}{{2018}}{{fillb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543570|Gorsuch Filibustered. Expected to respond as soon as he can find a speech to plagiarize||fillb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543684|Nuclear turtle launch detected||nom}}{{fillb}}{{game}}
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543762|Why having lost the filibuster may not be such a big deal||fillb}}{{oped}}
#{{drumpfft|4/7/2017|9545038|Gorsuch confirmed, leaving the filibuster dead and Democrats with nothing to show for it||scotus}}{{fillb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/10/2017|9546930|There will never be a mainstream Supreme Court Justice again||oped}}{{turtle}}
#{{drumpfft|4/10/2017|9546999|Mitch McConnell, the man who broke America||oped}}{{fillb}}{{part}}{{rw}}
#{{drumpfft|4/10/2017|9547364|Neil Gorsuch will be sworn in today as the newest Supreme Court Justice despite the fact he was nominated by a president spending his last year in office. Will things go off without a hitch? It's your Official Scalia Replacement Discussion Thread|Live thread|scotus}}

===Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch===
#{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9550098|Gorsuch will go through some rookie hazing at the Supreme Court, faces dreaded swirlie from Notorious RBG tomorrow afternoon||norm}}
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9555952|Just like the president who appointed him, Neil Gorsuch may spend a good portion of his first day on the job not actually working||norm}}{{scotus}}{{conflt}}
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558430|Neil Gorsuch mocked by Elena Kagan||scotus}}{{norm}}
#{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9561624|Neil Gorsuch's first vote on the supreme court is to kill a man|Ledell Lee was executed at 11:56 pm, Thursday, April 20, 2017 at Cummins Unit, Arkansas; SCOTUS vote was 5-4|dp}}{{scotus}}

==Sean Spicer==
''White House Press Secretary''
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9539124|Will Spiceweasel have Chinese food stuck to his teeth? Will there be a surprise announcement to throw the media off Russiagate? Will April Ryan piss him off again for merely existing? THIS is your Spiceweasel Press Briefing thread (2:30 start time)|Live thread|whpsdb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/3/2017|9538861|The Guardian finally notices Fark's daily Spiceweasel Press Briefing threads||norm}}
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9540790|A few days after the Sec. of State hints that Assad can stay in power, Assad gasses his civilians. Solution? Blame Obama||bash}}{{syr}}{{thxo}}{{chemw}}
#{{drumpfft|4/4/2017|9540910|Spiceweasel gets taken to task on Twitter by someone other than Dippin' Dots||grift}}rsch}}{{osnap}}
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9541340|The Spice must flow||fun}}
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543270|Adam Schiff calls Bullshiat Spice on his blustery bluff on Susan Rice, says "Let's do it" and have a full investigation||oc4.0}}{{bluff}}
#{{drumpfft|4/8/2017|9545644|There must be someway outta here said the joker to the thief. there's too much confusion, I can't get no relief||hide}}{{4est}}{{trans}}
#{{drumpfft|4/10/2017|9547733|It's been quite the slow last week in the news, hasn't it? But today we shall see The Return of the Spice. Sean should be rested and refreshed and ready to spin away. It's the Daily Press Briefing thread. (1:30 PM EDT)|Live thread|whpsdb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9549124|Live: Political must-see TV, McSpicey's semi-daily press conference. Will he address Best Korea's aggression towards the sea or reinforce the need for destabilization in the Middle East? This time with streamy goodness (1:30 pm EDT)|Live thread|whpsdb}}
##{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9548684|White House had to call a second briefing after Bullshiat Spice made it seem the world was going to war against Syria||whpsdb}}{{fukup}}{{syr}}
##{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9549419|Come for Spicer denying Hitler used chemical weapons. Stay for his referring to concentration camps as "Holocaust centers"||nazi}}{{fukup}}
#{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9550176|When you put all of Sean Spicer's lies, insults, and mistakes together in a timeline, it really makes you wonder how he's managed to hold onto his job this long||lie}}{{cult}} 
#{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9550292|We're probably not getting ahead of ourselves, but who should replace Sean Spicer as press secretary?||spec}}
#{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9550584|BullshiatSpice's Political Sideshow coming to you live from the West Wing. Will we learn alt-facts about Hitler or a new nickname of a cabinet secretary today? Can he really top yesterday? 2:00 PM EST|Live thread|whpsdb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551947|Will Spiceweasel discuss Drunk Uncle Bannon's future? Will one time intern Manafort become an un-intern? Will April Ryan shake her head in disbelief at his crap? THIS is your Spiceweasel press conference thread (1PM start time)|Live thread|whpsdb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9552114|Sean Spicer does the unforgivable every day, and the English language may never recover||fun}}{{fukup}}
#{{drumpfft|4/14/2017|9553382|Faced with a president that flip-flopped on four major issues in 24 hours, poor Sean Spicer is starting to sounds less like the WH press Secretary and More like Dennis Hopper's reporter character in "Apocalypse Now"||cult}}
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9556366|Spicer: Trump won't draw 'red lines' on North Korea, possibly because all of his crayons of that color melted after he left them in the White House Sunroom||prez}}{{nk}}{{gopfp}}
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9556372|Sean Spicer: "President Trump can't show his tax returns because he is still under audit." IRS:"An audit still does not bar any U.S. taxpayer from releasing his or her tax returns"||lie}}{{djttax}}{{cya}}
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9556276|Watch spicey smurf attempt to read a book to kids at the White House Easter egg roll||trad}}{{norm}}{{emb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/17/2017|9556174|Watch a sad man arrive late, lie, and leave early in a panic. It is your Spiceweasel Press Conference thread. In theory, starts at 2PM EST||whpsdb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558907|Will Spiceweasel say "Googubfloober mensamush"? Will he contend that America is better than North Korea because we never used nuclear weapons on people? Will we keep tuning in? THIS is your Spiceweasel press briefing thread (noon start, +/- 20 mins)|Live thread|whpsdb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558463|White House aides grappling with their sudden notoriety as everyone wants a chance to be seen with a future criminal| celeb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9559075|WATCH: Sean Spicer implodes when White House reporters grill him about aircraft carrier blunder||fukup}}
##{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9559370|Spicer goes full-Clinton. You never go full-Clinton||orwell}}{{maddow}}
#{{drumpfft|4/24/2017|9564184|Trump confirms that he won't be firing the Spiceweasel any time soon thanks to all the people who watch to see what stupid thing he'll say next||trainw}}
#{{drumpfft|4/24/2017|9564260|Will Spiceweasel be tripping balls? Will April ask him a question he doesn't want to answer? Are these still entertaining? Who let in the f*cking mongoose? THIS is your Spiceweasel press briefing thread (1:30pm start)||whpsdb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/24/2017|9564678|Entire senate called to White House for briefing on NOKO, oh no|technically a Senate briefing called by Majority Leader, McConnell|trip}}{{nk}}{{brief}}
##{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9565285|Senators: Yeah, Donnie, we're not gonna be part of some photo-op to make it seem like you actually accomplished something in your first 100 days|the auditorium in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building was converted into a temporary SCIF (sensitive compartmented information facility) for full Senate briefing on North Korea, 4/24/2017|nekkid}}{{prop}}
#{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9566132|Just how bad at your job do you have to be if an actress says she feels sorry for you? Alison Janney opens up to Colbert about Sean Spicer||drstc}}{{pity}}
#{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9565813|Will Spiceweasel contradict his boss? Will he champion Hitler's execution policy as a model for Arkansas? I mean really, the effectiveness ofmmmphhfhhe (go to ssssssssleep) THIS is your daily Spiceweasel press briefing thread (2PM start time)|Live thread|whpsdb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9566111|Sean Spicer has completed his transformation into the new Baghdad Bob||wall}}{{fud}}
#{{drumpfft|4/26/2017|9567286|Spicer: Trump has rebuilt America's global standing. No, I'm serious, stop laughing, I'll run you over with my podium if you don't quit it||oped}}{{end}}{{emb}}{{gopfp}}
#{{drumpfft|4/27/2017|9568556|Will Spiceweasel arrive in military fatigues because we're now at war with Canada? Will he announce that due to a government shutdown, there will be no more briefings? Wait, it's a TRADE war?? THIS is your Spiceweasel press briefing thread [1 PM EST]||whpsdb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/27/2017|9568978|Trump's White House knows exactly who is to blame for the whole Michael Flynn debacle, Obama, of course||icdir704}}{{fart}}
#{{drumpfft|4/27/2017|9568647|If the mainstream media's headline is reading like a Fark headline there might be cause for concern||sancity}}{{imm}}

===Open Mouth Insert ...===
====Holocaust====
##{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9549382|Poe's Law found dead at hands of Godwin's Law in bizarre murder/suicide case||nazi}}{{godw}}
##{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9550099|Upon reflection, Sean Spicer says the problem with his references to Hitler and the Holocaust is that they weren't topical||dig}}{{godw}}
##{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9550689|Spicer fumbles in his usual "I don't talk good" way, but amazingly enough, he actually apologizes for his Holocaust comments rather than apologizing that people are so easily offended||adult}}

==Mike Dubke==
''Communications Director''
#{{drumpfft|4/11/2017|9548601|White House grapples with how to sell Trump's first 100 days. Yuuuuge branding suggestions to the right||prop}}
#{{drumpfft|4/14/2017|9553449|Hidden.gov|[jwatchwavesdccironpn.pdf Judicial Watch v. Secret Service, decided August 30, 2013, opinion by Chief Judge Merrick Garland, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit] that some White House records are not subject to FOIA therefore can be kept secret|trans}}{{hide}}{{cow}}

==Kellyanne Conway==
''Counselor to the President''
#{{drumpfft|4/5/2017|9541366|CNN had a bit of a problem. Donald Trump solved it||tv}}{{qpq}}{{prop}}
#{{drumpfft|4/12/2017|9550858|Kellyanne Conway (R- Lich Queen):"I'm not the darkness"||lie}}{{cya}}
##{{drumpfft|4/13/2017|9551732|Kellyanne Conway goes off on an unhinged rant, snapping after being asked about Trump's ongoing feud with a New York Times reporter. "INAPPROPRIATE" she screamed before ripping off her flesh mask and going full Lich Queen||cult}}
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558463|White House aides grappling with their sudden notoriety as everyone wants a chance to be seen with a future criminal| celeb}}
#{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9561914|Kellyanne Conway says she is "confident the government will not shut down next week". SO...if you need anything from the federal government, you've got less than seven days to get that squared away||shut}}
#{{drumpfft|4/26/2017|9566446|It's looking more and more like Kellyanne Conway is not going to win 'Celebrity White House Apprentice'||oped}}{{spec}}<br>Callum Borchers, a writer for the Washington Post accused counselor to the president, Kellyanne Conway, of having a three-step process for deflecting a question she doesn't know the answer to:<br>:1. paraphrase something Trump has said<br>:2. use a banal phrase<br>:3. change the subject
#{{drumpfft|4/27/2017|9568259|Kellyanne Conway's first 100 days of alternative facts||prop}}{{norm}}

==Sarah Huckabee Sanders==
''deputy White House press secretary''
#{{drumpfft|4/9/2017|9546410|President Bannon vows to not leave office||div}}{{titch}}{{prop}}
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558562|White House denies Trump's congratulatory call to Erdogan wasn't a a congratulatory call||notally}}{{cya}}{{grift}}

==Natalie Strom==
''White House spokeswoman''
#{{drumpfft|4/19/2017|9558564|"Charitably donations? We should cap those," believes Donald Trump||taxr}}{{got}}

==Kelly Love==
''White House spokesmodel''
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9560133|Nebraskan farmers to make the strongest, most compelling case than we've ever heard against Keystone pipeline by pointing out how it may hurt some white people||keypipe}}
##{{drumpfft|4/23/2017|9563145|Fox News host interviews Nebraska farmer she's sure will agree with her claims the Keystone XL pipeline will make the U.S. energy independent. That's when he reminded her the oil it transfers isn't from the U.S.|Art Tanderup, Nebraska farmer|keypipe}}{{clean}}

==Lindsay Walters==
''White House deputy press secretary''
#{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9564898|All and all, Trump won't insist on the wall||wall}}{{fukup}}

==Helen Aguirre Ferre==
''White House director of media affairs or "Never Trump, low-energy, Jeb Bush staffers infiltrate Donald Trump's White House"''
#{{drumpfft|4/25/2017|9565965|Conservative and Alt-right media figures say they were disappointed with their private lunch with President Trump, in no small part because he COMPLETELY failed to strangle a "liberal" with his bare hands, rip out his liver and eat in front of them||trip}}{{prop}}{{meglo}}

==White House Press Corps==
#{{drumpfft|4/10/2017|9547371|Let's look at the freak show the White House Press Corps has become in part thanks to Bullshiat Spice||prop}}{{cult}}{{fukup}}

==Mike Huckabee==
''former governor of Arkansas''
#{{drumpfft|4/18/2017|9557741|Mike Huckabee finally found the one topic even partisan extremists of both parties can agree on: Comcast sucks||norm}}{{pop}}
#{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9561736|Oh, dear, he really was trying to be funny||norm}}

==Stefan Passantino==
''White House ethics lawyer''

==David Apol==
''Top. Lawyer. Office of Government Ethics''

==Walter Shaub==
''Director, Office of Government Ethics''

==Frank Gaffney==
''director, Center for Security Policy, his tiny think tank''

==Nigel Farage==
''leader of the UKIP (United Kingdom Independence Party)''

==Gary Cohn==
''chief economic advisor''
#{{drumpfft|4/6/2017|9543304|Trump's top economic adviser tells Congress that the administration wants to force banks to split their consumer banking and investment banking operations into separate entities. Great idea, wonder why no one has ever thought of it before?||glass}}
#{{drumpfft|4/10/2017|9547671|WH sources say Trump, possibly just to mess with EVERYONE is considering making economic adviser Gary Cohn Chief of Staff. Cohn is a Goldman-Sachs Alum, but a Democrat, in favor of a carbon tax and reinstating Glass-Steagall, and against big tax cuts||spec}}{{titch}}
#{{drumpfft|4/14/2017|9553408|Whoa whoa whoa watch it you Trump extremists, a moderate has bored into the president's ear||oped}}{{norm}}
##{{drumpfft|4/14/2017|9553073|The Stealth Caucus grabs more power in Trump's White House||meglo}}{{cult}}{{titch}}{{norm}}
#{{drumpfft|4/26/2017|9567612|Wall Street makes a collective wanking motion after Trump announces his tax plan, "This was about ticking a box ahead of the first 100 days"||taxr}}{{goptax}}{{mkt}}

==Sarah Palin==
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9560177|The cast of "Dumber & Dumber 3" visits the White House||weak}}{{emb}}{{cult}}
##{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9560230|Dear God, it's the gathering of the Trumpalos||weak}}{{emb}}{{cult}}
##{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9561286|Sarah Palin says Jesus wasn't available so Trump had to invite Ted Nugent and Kid Rock; ergo, Palin equates two of the worst things in music to the alleged Lord and Savior of Christianity||gmu}}{{feq}}{{aw}}
##{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9561491|Obama photographer perfectly shames classless yokel hillbillies. Which, I mean, if you really think about it, is about as difficult as putting on your shoes. But, this is where we are as a nation|https://www.instagram.com/p/BTHmS9AFk21|gohigh}}
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9560203|Caribou Barbie with real life foot in mouth action attacks Elizabeth Warren claiming that "Fight Like a Girl" is her catch phrase||aw}}{{coopt}}{{dk}}
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9560756|Sarah Palin isn't saying it was harassment that caused her to leave Fox, but it was harassment that caused her to leave Fox. Well actually her not willing to be subjected to harassment, totes the reason, but she ain't a victim that stuck around for $||aw}}
#{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9562068|Joe Scaroborough back on the Palin train||bless}}{{aw}}

==Ted Nugent==
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9560177|The cast of "Dumber & Dumber 3" visits the White House||weak}}{{emb}}{{cult}}
##{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9560230|Dear God, it's the gathering of the Trumpalos||weak}}{{emb}}{{cult}}
##{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9561286|Sarah Palin says Jesus wasn't available so Trump had to invite Ted Nugent and Kid Rock; ergo, Palin equates two of the worst things in music to the alleged Lord and Savior of Christianity||gmu}}{{feq}}{{aw}}
##{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9561491|Obama photographer perfectly shames classless yokel hillbillies. Which, I mean, if you really think about it, is about as difficult as putting on your shoes. But, this is where we are as a nation|https://www.instagram.com/p/BTHmS9AFk21|gohigh}}

==Kid Rock==
#{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9560177|The cast of "Dumber & Dumber 3" visits the White House||weak}}{{emb}}{{cult}}
##{{drumpfft|4/20/2017|9560230|Dear God, it's the gathering of the Trumpalos||weak}}{{emb}}{{cult}}
##{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9561286|Sarah Palin says Jesus wasn't available so Trump had to invite Ted Nugent and Kid Rock; ergo, Palin equates two of the worst things in music to the alleged Lord and Savior of Christianity||gmu}}{{feq}}{{aw}}
##{{drumpfft|4/21/2017|9561491|Obama photographer perfectly shames classless yokel hillbillies. Which, I mean, if you really think about it, is about as difficult as putting on your shoes. But, this is where we are as a nation|https://www.instagram.com/p/BTHmS9AFk21|gohigh}}

==Omarosa Manigault==
''Minority outreach, Nixon Apprentice and #1 fangirl''

<!--
==Andrew Bremberg==
''assistant to the President in charge of details; no homo''

==Stephen A. Feinberg==
''member, President's economic advisory council''

==Scott Baio==
''Special Celebrity Advisor''

==Wayne LaPierre==
''Executive Grand Dragon of NRA''

==Kevin Hassett==
''cheif economist''

==Ken Blackwell==
''domestic policy chair, transition team''

==Vladimir Lenin==
''Leninist Tactics Advisor Emeritist''

==Reed Corish==
''assistant to the president for intergovernmental and technology initiatives''

==Julia Hahn==
''special assistant to the president''

==Peter Navarro==
''Director of the National Trade Council''
-->