This is an archive of Drumpfster Fire Daily Chaos Fark threads for the month of April, 2017
Click this link for the current month, or here for the rest of the archive.
Dangerous[]
Generalissimo Know-It-All[]
- (4/3/2017) Trump: The US is ready to act alone on North Korea if necessary. China: You pull some shiat that results in our eastern border being overrun with millions of starving, frightened, and uneducated refugees and we are gonna have "a problem", monkey-boy 💣
- (4/5/2017) Trump: "No one knew Syria would be this bad. No one" ⚛
- (4/6/2017) Just tell them it is a Red line that can't be crossed, and then do nothing. That worked great last time, thanks Barry Template:Kskhn
- (4/6/2017) Trump wags dog Template:Shayrat💣
- (4/7/2017) Trump repeatedly told Obama not to attack Syria in 2013- hey why is my house in green night vision on CNN?
- (4/7/2017) Donald Trump just learned the quickest way to seem "presidential" is to lob a bunch of bombs into another country 🏆⚡
- (4/7/2017) Here comes the inevitable article claiming that Syria just changed EVERYTHING. If you had CNN in the poll, please click on the left to claim your prize 🏆Template:Shayrat
- (4/7/2017) So whats up with those B-3 Bombers being sent to Albania Template:EscaTemplate:Deploy
- (4/8/2017) Generals gathered in their masses, just like witches at black masses. Evil minds that plot destruction, sorcerer of death's construction 🏆
- (4/8/2017) Apparently Donald Trump may have used Tomahawk missiles because he owns part of the company that makes them
- (4/9/2017) Dear Congress, Vital national security beautiful babies Syria bombing campaign national interests vital. Chief boss me says so, vital best words chemical weapons bombing raid necessary national interest. Vital. Love, Donald Template:ShayratTemplate:Warpow🏆
- (4/10/2017) Trump campaigned on getting the US out of "stupid wars", but as president he is going on a warpath in the Middle East, and cranking the civilian murder to 11 while he's at it 💣🏆
- (4/13/2017) Taco Bell custodians yawn in disbelief after news of largest non-nuclear bomb in U.S. inventory dropped in Afghanistan after Green Beret was killed a 21,000-pound conventional bomb, MOAB (Massive Ordnance Air Blast or "Mother Of All Bombs"), the GBU-43B was dropped out of the back of a C-130 over Nangarhar Province, Afghanistan🏆⚡Template:Recru😺
- (4/25/2017) Scheduled Minuteman III launch ahead of "ridiculous" 100 day mark that Trump doesn't care about. Spicer said to be updating bullet points of accomplishments Contextual link provided by FarkerTemplate:DrumTemplate:Dick
- (4/26/2017) Senior administration official tells press that President Trump has determined a course of action for North Korea and that military preparations are underway Template:Esca
Syria[]
- (4/9/2017) Bombing Syria was Ivanka's idea. Sleep well, Earth Template:Shayrat
- (4/10/2017) CNN anchor asks senator if he understands Trump's Syria policy. His response? "No. Do you?" 😛
- (4/12/2017) Not today...maybe tomorrow. We are definitely not. You, maybe 💣😛
- (4/12/2017) We're going into Syria
- (4/12/2017) Donald Trump: Remembers what flavor of cake he had but not which country he bombed
- (4/19/2017) Trump's missile assault on Syria was justified by fabricated intelligence and documents so awful not even Senator Vreenak would have wasted time reviewing them Template:FabricTemplate:Shayrat
Best Korea[]
- (4/5/2017) White House: 'our poll numbers are tanking and half of us are under investigation. I know - let's taunt the dynamite monkey that'll distract people from our problems.' Template:Esca
- (4/12/2017) Trump seems to think "Armadas" are still a thing the Navy has. Also doesn't seem to be aware of what happened to the most famous naval force bearing that designation US Navy Carl Vinson Carrier Strike Group (CSG) being deployed💣😺
- (4/15/2017) Japanese destroyers decide to follow the Vinson in humiliating Best Korea Japan Maritime Self-Defense Force (JMSDF) to join US Navy Carl Vinson Carrier Strike Group (CSG) in East China Sea🇯🇵😛💣😺
- (4/12/2017) China is now the adult in the room 😛🍼
- (4/14/2017) U.S. to N. Korea: We're sick of your shiat. N. Korea to U.S.: just TRY us, biatches. China: woah woah,.....let's just chill 😛🍼
- (4/14/2017) The problem with Trump thinking he can scare North Korea is that the guy running North Korea is significantly crazier than Trump and he doesn't have to consult anyone 😛🍼
- (4/14/2017) And you thought President Trump was nuts for whacking the bees nest that is North Korea, China is suddenly leaning on North Korea and it might be because of him 😛🍼
- (4/15/2017) China goes over Trump's head to the big boss 😛🍼
- (4/18/2017) Trump's "Armada" did not go towards North Korea; did not go past North Korea; was actually sent thousands of miles in the opposite direction from Korea; was on scheduled training exercises; was not put on alert; was actually single rubber bath ducky
- (4/18/2017) Remember last week when Trump and Spicer claimed the USS Carl Vinson had been sent to the Sea of Japan to deter the North Koreans? Either that never happened, or the carrier just went full "Philadelphia Experiment" and teleported thousands of miles
- (4/19/2017) The Carl Vinson carrier group wasn't actually underway to Best Korea to provoke Jong Un in a game of nuclear brinksmanship, but since we've had a week to think about it, it is now. Bottoms up, last call 💣
- (4/19/2017) WATCH: Sean Spicer implodes when White House reporters grill him about aircraft carrier blunder
- (4/21/2017) Mike Pence says he went outside to look at the North Koreans on the other side of the DMZ so they could "see the resolve in my face" Template:Weak
- (4/24/2017) Trump continues to rattle his saber and play with his shiny bathtub toys, as Chinese leader urges restraint on Best Korea - all on this episode of "He said, Xi said" 😛🍼🏆
- (4/25/2017) President Baby Trump brings his largest bathtub toy to South Korea as China agrees action MUST be taken concerning Kim Jong-un and his nuclear toys Template:EscaTemplate:Sk😛
Afghanistan[]
- (4/13/2017) Taco Bell custodians yawn in disbelief after news of largest non-nuclear bomb in U.S. inventory dropped in Afghanistan after Green Beret was killed a 21,000-pound conventional bomb, MOAB (Massive Ordnance Air Blast or "Mother Of All Bombs"), the GBU-43B was dropped out of the back of a C-130 over Nangarhar Province, Afghanistan🏆⚡Template:Recru😺
Baby's First Foreign Policy[]
- (4/5/2017) Trump's Mar-a-Lago turns into more of an ethics swamp Template:Ethic
- (4/5/2017) Trump: "No one knew Syria would be this bad. No one" ⚛
- (4/13/2017) U.S. threatens to bomb North Korea if another nuke is detonated. Come on guys, this isn't funny anymore. Cut it out 💣⚠
General Decision Making[]
- (4/14/2017) Wanna change Trump's mind on something? That's easy, just be sure that you're the last person that talks to him Template:Last
- (4/27/2017) Trump staffers no longer trust him to make the right decision when presented with a weak option, an extreme one and a middle of the road option, so they will only present him with their preferred option to avoid catastrophe Template:Last
- (4/14/2017) NPR tries to understand Trump's shifting positions. Well, Trump has no core beliefs other than "how does this help Trump" which means, as previously mentioned numerous times over the last 18 months, who the fark knows what Trump'll do? 🔁💣
- (4/15/2017) Don't say he's a hypocrite, just say he's "flexible" 🔁💣🌅
- (4/15/2017) Where will Trump's sudden militaristic tendencies take us? 💣😛
Troop Deployment[]
- (4/20/2017) Half a league onward, all in the Valley of Death rode the 300 Template:Deploy
- (4/25/2017) President Baby Trump brings his largest bathtub toy to South Korea as China agrees action MUST be taken concerning Kim Jong-un and his nuclear toys Template:EscaTemplate:Sk😛
Pretext(s) for war[]
- (4/20/2017) Dear World, If you would like the United States to bomb and invade a country, just produce some stories about babies being thrown from incubators. Republicans eat this stuff up as justification for war. Love, UN Ambassador Nikki Haley 😛🏆💣
Torture[]
Nuclear Arms Control[]
Climate Change Denial[]
Keystone XL Pipeline[]
- (4/20/2017) Nebraskan farmers to make the strongest, most compelling case than we've ever heard against Keystone pipeline by pointing out how it may hurt some white people Template:Keypipe
- (4/23/2017) Fox News host interviews Nebraska farmer she's sure will agree with her claims the Keystone XL pipeline will make the U.S. energy independent. That's when he reminded her the oil it transfers isn't from the U.S. Art Tanderup, Nebraska farmerTemplate:Keypipe
Connections to Russians[]
For all the Fark threads about the Trump, Russia collusion, please visit the Trump-Russia Connections page
Privatization of federal government[]
IRS[]
Conserve, Pioneer, Performant, and CBE Group
- (4/5/2017) After years of warning taxpayers that the IRS will never cold call you to collect a tax debt, IRS hands over its debt-collection to private companies ... who will call you Fixing America’s Surface Transportation Act (FAST Act)(Section 32102) enacted by Congress December, 2015; Conserve, Pioneer, Performant, and CBE Group
Social Security[]
- (4/13/2017) Donald Trump wants to put a couple hundred bucks more in your paycheck. And he'll pay for it by killing your parents and grandparents 🔒🐆✂
Government Shutdown[]
- (4/2/2017) McConnell: There will be a government shutdown next month
- (4/12/2017) The Party of Small Government® is about to trigger a government shutdown because they're mad that local governments won't become puppets of the federal government ⚠
- (4/19/2017) Ted Cruz: "the radical left might shut down the government with a whiny temper tantrum and that's a bad thing" ❔
- (4/21/2017) Bipartisan talks to avoid unnecessary government shutdown were going fairly well until Trump came in with demands for at least one win in his first 100 days, farking everything up bigly Template:Petu
- (4/26/2017) On the shutdown negotiations, McConnell sternly warns Democrats once again. that they had better not try to pull the EXACT same stunts he did for the last 8 years Template:StiggTemplate:Gopgov
- (4/27/2017) Democratic leaders to the GOP: If you rush a Trumpcare vote we're pulling the government off life support
Incompetence[]
- (4/18/2017) Come for the upcoming incompetence crisis, stay for the writer's break down as of April 7, 2017, only 22 of 553 positions requiring Senate confirmation have been filled
- (4/21/2017) This might shock you, but in Trump's White House there is no clear chain of command as no one knows who's really in charge Template:Gopgov
Local Police[]
- (4/5/2017) Operation Burn it to the Ground progressing as planned. Thanks, Bannon 👮👪Template:Blm
- (4/11/2017) Airlines treat you like garbage because capitalism only works in theory 👮
- (4/13/2017) Attorney General Jeff Sessions is worried that not enough Americans are being locked up “I’m saying I’m getting worried we’re not locking more people up.”🚓👮
Shock Doctrine[]
- (4/5/2017) We must never let the American government use a terror attack to consolidate power. CTRL+F "Patriot Act"... 0 of 0. Huh, author must be, like, 16 years old? ❔
Secret Service Shenanigans[]
- (4/7/2017) Trump's extended family is running the Secret Service ragged, which of course means using up more taxpayer money for the least good of all reasons: worrying about the safety of the Washington Trumpbillys
- (4/10/2017) Trump's personal helicopter landing at Mar-a-Lago raises questions. Fark: by Fox News
Domestic Strife[]
- (4/10/2017) Multiple Gunshot Victims at Elementary School in San Bernardino Template:Shoot
- (4/19/2017) Shooting rampage occurs in Fresno, leaving at least four dead; let the debate begin as to whether religion, race, mental health, or gun laws are to blame
Death Penalty[]
- (4/24/2017) "Fark all this mamsy-pamsy humane execution bullshiat. If we're gonna do this, let's do it right with firing squads and guillotines. And live stream that shiat." -- 9th Circuit Federal Judge Alex Kozinski Federal Judge Alex Kozinski, 9th Circuit Court of Appeals: "I think the use of lethal injection is the way of lying to ourselves, to make it look like executions are peaceful, are benign, are sort of like going to sleep, and they're not ... [i]f we as a society are willing to take away human life, we should be willing to watch it."Template:ModproTemplate:Dp
Infrastructure[]
Conceal Carry Reciprocity[]
Hate Speech on College Campuses[]
- (4/20/2017) The Koch Brothers are teaming up with Betsy DeVos to bring hate speech onto college campuses across the country 🙉
Unfilled Positions in Justice Department[]
- (4/20/2017) Well it's been a month since the Friday night massacre of the Department of Justice. Let's see how well the new US attorneys are doing and...oh dear Template:Stigg
Domestic Terrorists[]
- (4/23/2017) Trump's Homeland Security director John Kelly admits he doesn't have a clue how to stop domestic terrorists ❔
- (4/26/2017) Trump to sign EO Wednesday that is basically a gigantic FARK YOU to millions of acres of national land under Federal protection since 1996 Template:Stigg🍆
Sexual Predator[]
Tim Nolan[]
former judge; current member Campbell County School Board, district 5; Tea Party supporter; indicted sexual predator
- (4/23/2017) Another Trump Campaign Chair has been indicted for minor sex trafficking. What is it with Republicans and kids? charges from indictment, The River City News
Hateful & Cruel[]
Neo-Nazis[]
Confederate Heritage[]
- (4/6/2017) Mississippi governor signs off on Confederate Heritage Month, expects White House appointment shortly Template:Confed
- (4/27/2017) South Carolina candidate for Congress: 'Well, if'n those Politically Correct pussies are gonna get rid of our monuments to the glorious Confederacy, how 'bout we get rid of some of them slavery memorials?' That's a bold strategy, Cotton Template:Confed
Muslim ban[]
- (4/12/2017) Hawaii is going all in on that travel ban fight
Refugees[]
- (4/19/2017) Homeland Security wants to further crater the US tourism industry while making it harder for Americans to travel through Europe 😛Template:Ref
Immigrants[]
- (4/5/2017) Illegal immigrant who is the caretaker for her disabled veteran husband and four children, one of whom has cerebral palsy, will not be deported for at least another year. There, are you libs happy now? Template:VetTemplate:Deport
- (4/6/2017) Nunca pensé que los leopardos comerían MI cara 🐆Template:Deport
- (4/5/2017) Landlords are threatening to call ICE on tenants that refuse to sign leases that would raise their rent Template:Obey
- (4/13/2017) Trump creating army of federal shock troops to patrol the country demanding citizenship papers from all sufficiently brown people. But don't worry, this is all just campaign talk DHS’s acting spokeswoman called the papers “pre-decisional documents”
- (4/13/2017) Exiled Keebler Elf and current US Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, is using his job to purge America of people who don't look like him 🚓
- (4/14/2017) Trump: Your kids just aren't worth it Template:Stigg
- (4/17/2017) For some crazy reason that I can't quite get my finger on, undocumented workers in America are more reluctant to file their tax forms than they have been in the past
- (4/19/2017) MSNBC airs live segment where they traveled with an ICE agent to capture an illegal immigrant leaving his home MSNBC’s Hallie Jackson in studio; NBC’s Gadi Schwartz, embedded with ICE agents
- (4/19/2017) It's almost as if Trump has put racist authoritarians in charge of law enforcement and given them carte blanche to do whatever. But, who among us could have guessed that might happen? deportation of Juan Manuel Montes Bojorquez, who believes he was ptotected by Deferred Action for Childhood ArrivalsTemplate:Deport
- (4/18/2017) Timeshifter President Obama strikes again, as Donald Trump insists the notorious Salvadoran gang MS-13 formed because of lax immigrant laws, despite being well established before 2008 🚓Template:Oc6.0💣
- (4/18/2017) The dream is over deportation of Dreamer Juan Manuel MontesTemplate:Deport
- (4/19/2017) USA Today: Poor, struggling young DREAMer who just wanted to go out on a date with his girlfriend is deported. Reality: 23-year-old apprehended by Border Patrol after illegally entering U.S. by climbing over border fence is deported Juan Manuel Montes Bojorquez renewed his status, DHS checked, found that they erred, still deported him Template:Deport
- (4/20/2017) Trump: Seriously, why are Mexicans allowed to be judges? This is America, right? Curiel, who presided over the Trump University case, was chosen at random to the case of Juan Manuel Montes, the "Dreamer" who was deportedTemplate:Deport
- (4/20/2017) AG Jefferson Davis Beauregard Sessions III: "We Can't promise that Dreamers won't be deported" and since, grammatically, two negatives in a sentence cancel each other out, what he REALLY said was "We can promise Dreamers will be deported" 🚓
- (4/22/2017) Trump tells Dreamers to relax, he's not after them. Sure, there are stories about Dreamers being deported but that's probably fake news. Why would anyone Hispanic worry about my policies? Template:DeportTemplate:Believe
- (4/20/2017) America's Milk Lobby says that immigration raids on dairy farms have the potential to send milk prices skyrocketing from $3.31 to $8 per gallon . In other news, we apparently have a Milk Lobby in the US Template:LobbyTemplate:Goppol👄
- (4/23/2017) Meanwhile down under, British immigrants are upset the new Oz crackdowns are "tarring them with the same brush" as those who aren't "from a Christian background;" complain they never thought the dingoes would eat *their* faces 👄Template:Oz
Propaganda[]
- (4/19/2017) MSNBC airs live segment where they traveled with an ICE agent to capture an illegal immigrant leaving his home MSNBC’s Hallie Jackson in studio; NBC’s Gadi Schwartz, embedded with ICE agents
Anti-Alien[]
- (4/27/2017) Trump creates a new hotline to report crimes committed by aliens. The internet responds 1-855-48-VOICE (86423)
Sanctuary Cities[]
- (4/12/2017) The Party of Small Government® is about to trigger a government shutdown because they're mad that local governments won't become puppets of the federal government Template:Sancity⚠Template:Stigg
- (4/13/2017) "Five years ago, I never would have envisioned myself suing a president of the United States on an issue that I believe is an issue of morality, and yet here we are" Template:Sancity
- (4/26/2017) Trump again vows to take the court to court US District Judge William Orrick III blocked Trump's executive order withholding federal funds from sanctuary citiesTemplate:Sancity
- (4/27/2017) If the mainstream media's headline is reading like a Fark headline there might be cause for concern Template:Sancity
The Great White Wall[]
- (4/2/2017) Standing between Trump and his wall are people like NM rancher William Hurt. "The best way to just absolutely get no cooperation is tell me what I'm gonna have to do to make you happy"
- (4/3/2017) Here's your first look at some border wall proposals. Oh jeez, are they serious?
- (4/5/2017) Some of the bids for Trump's Mexico border wall include plans for a tourist balcony
- (4/10/2017) Some of the proposed designs for Trump's wall include drones, a toxic moat, remote-operated disintegration rays, random drunken Texans with guns, a three-hundred mile minefield. OK, some of those are made up but try to guess which ones
- (4/6/2017) Photoshop Challenge: Homeland Security would like to see proposals for a border wall. Photoshop a proposal that trumps all others
- (4/9/2017) Democrats are winning the war against the Wall
- (4/14/2017) Trump: Your kids just aren't worth it Template:Stigg
- (4/23/2017) Trump: Someday, at a later date, not today but in the future, possibly the near future but maybe a little further, we can't know for sure, Mexico will pay--possibly with money but perhaps something else like wampum or donkeys or mohair--for the wall Template:Weak
- (4/23/2017) Trump's Homeland Security director John Kelly admits he doesn't have a clue how to stop domestic terrorists ❔
- (4/25/2017) All and all, Trump won't insist on the wall
- (4/24/2017) Totally not racist, and most assuredly not speaking from his rectum Attorney Jefferson Davis Beauregard III says the wall can be paid for if the Treasury cracks down on improper EITC payments since they are going to "mostly Mexicans"
- (4/24/2017) Trump budget chief: Don't worry about the millions of poors who will lose healthcare after the ACA is repealed, our glorious border wall will protect them. Wait, what? ⚠Template:Goat
- (4/24/2017) Totally not racist, and most assuredly not speaking from his rectum Attorney Jefferson Davis Beauregard III says the wall can be paid for if the Treasury cracks down on improper EITC payments since they are going to "mostly Mexicans"
- (4/25/2017) All and all, Trump won't insist on the wall
- (4/25/2017) Trump who earlier told reporters that he might be willing to wait on The Wall now claims that any story about his willingness to wait on The Wall is FAKE NEWS 💣
- (4/25/2017) Illegal border crossings are down 90% since Trump took office. It would be better but no one is even trying to prevent those 10% from fleeing to Canada
- (4/25/2017) Fox News headline: "Why are Dems happy when Trump drops unpopular positions?" 🙋
- (4/26/2017) Ted Cruz wants the US to use the $14 billion seized from El Chapo to pay for Trump's wall. That's... that might actually work
- (4/27/2017) RNC Chair: GOP base will limp away in midterms elections if The Wall isn't erect Ronna Romney McDaniel: "They're gonna lose the trust of our base if we don't keep our promises, our base is gonna walk away"Template:EmptyTemplate:2018e
- (4/27/2017) Are you a contractor interested in doing work on Trump's border wall? I hope you weren't planning on bidding on any state contracts in California, New York or Rhode Island afterwards
LGBTQ Community[]
- (4/8/2017) Anti-transgender bathroom legislation has been filed in 15 states so far, but it's only a coincidence that all 15 bills contain the same typo
- (4/17/2017) Texas didn't think its cunning plan through as bill that forbids cities from creating a protected class would nullify existing ordinances protecting LGBT people, veterans, the elderly, and pregnant women 👄HB 2899, "Texas Protection Act (TPA)"
- (4/20/2017) The real reason there's so much political corruption in D.C.? Too many witches and gays
- (4/21/2017) Fox News fired Bill O'Reilly because it wants to fill the network with "pro-gay closet Nazis"
- (4/21/2017) Caitlyn Jenner finally figures out that Donald Trump is not a friend of the LGBTQ community 🐆
- (4/23/2017) What do they call "Log Cabin Republicans" in France? Template:Pop
- (4/26/2017) Senator Mike Enzi says men who walk into bars wearing tutus "are asking for it" during a visit to Greybull High School and Middle School, Greybull, Wyoming💥
North Carolina Bathroom Bill[]
- (4/4/2017) North Carolina to NCAA: Hey guys, we sorta kinda didn't really repeal HB2, so can we have our basketball tournaments back, pretty please? NCAA: Looks legit Template:Qpq
Deportation based on marijuana charges[]
- (4/18/2017) "Let me be clear about marijuana. It is a potentially dangerous gateway drug that frequently leads to the use of harder drugs." Oh, jeez, this shiat again? "ICE will continue to use marijuana possession, distribution and convictions as essential elements as they build their deportation removal apprehension packages"🚓
Revoke Citizenship[]
- (4/21/2017) Apparently, Al Qaeda had a hub in Silicon Valley. Well, the guy who ran it just had his citizenship revoked 🚓
White Supremist Propaganda[]
Child Marriage[]
- (4/20/2017) Woman who was married by her mother, at age 14, against her will, to a 24-year old registered sex offender she'd only met the day before her wedding, thinks maybe that shouldn't be legal any more in Texas Template:MarriTrevicia Williams, who now has her doctorate, working with Tahirih Justice Center, state Rep. Thompson (D, TX, 141st) and state Sen. Taylor (R, TX, 8th) to change current law: §2.102 §2.101, 2.103, have proposed this bill: SB 1705
Repeal Obama-era Policy[]
- (4/21/2017) I know liberals want to think of Trump as a do-nothing President, but while he hasn't done much to secure his own legacy, he has done plenty to undo President Obama's legacy Template:StiggTemplate:Gopgov
Wildlife protections[]
- (4/9/2017) Having solved the rest of the nation's problems, Congress legalizes shooting hibernating bears Template:HuntTemplate:Stigg
Ban on toxic ammunition and fishing tackle on federal lands[]
- (4/10/2017) Trump's administration is going to help kill a lot of bald eagles, no not an euphemism this time Template:Stigg🐺Template:HuntTemplate:Stigg
National Monument Designations[]
- (4/25/2017) Trump's considering expanding drilling to national monuments. There's supposed to be a real gusher under the Lincoln Memorial Template:StiggTemplate:ParkTemplate:Land
Offshore Drilling Ban[]
- (4/25/2017) Trump's considering expanding drilling to national monuments. There's supposed to be a real gusher under the Lincoln Memorial Template:StiggTemplate:ParkTemplate:Land
Repealing ACA[]
- (4/11/2017) Freedom Caucus chair says that a deal 'close' on ObamaCare repeal Template:Stigg
- (4/21/2017) Words you don't want to describe your health care plan: "Comically bad"
- (4/24/2017) Trump budget chief: Don't worry about the millions of poors who will lose healthcare after the ACA is repealed, our glorious border wall will protect them. Wait, what? ⚠Template:Goat
- (4/25/2017) Trump slashing Obamacare subsidies would cost taxpayers billions Template:StiggTemplate:Subz
Ending restrictions on rates for prison phone calls[]
- (4/20/2017) Here's a full list of the accomplishments of Ajit Pai's FCC in only 90 days Template:Fedreg
Ending internet privacy & security rules[]
- (4/20/2017) Here's a full list of the accomplishments of Ajit Pai's FCC in only 90 days Template:Fedreg
Lifeline[]
- (4/20/2017) Here's a full list of the accomplishments of Ajit Pai's FCC in only 90 days Template:Fedreg
Net Neutrality[]
- (4/26/2017) R.I.P. Net Neutrality: born February 26, 2015, deceased May 18, 2017 Template:Stigg
Waters of the United States (2015)[]
defines which bodies of water are under federal authority
- (4/21/2017) Missouri Senator Roy Blunt (R-eefer) got baked so hard on 4/20 he a.) spent $25 on one order at Taco Bell; b.) made a bong out of his empty Just for Men tube; or c.) thought Scott Pruitt would "Look for environmental problems and solve them" Pruitt: "The EPA is no longer going to be an agency that tries to engage in power over water decisions at the state level"Template:Fedreg
Dodd-Frank[]
- "Review" two provisions of Dodd-Frank (2010)
- Orderly Liquidation Authority (process of liquidating a large, complex financial company that is close to failing) to determine risk, taxpayer liability, and "moral hazard"
- Financial Stability Oversight Council (the process of designating banks and financial firms "too big to fail")
- (4/4/2017) Trump promises haircuts to Dodd-Frank that he says will be "very good for the banking industry". Because if anyone knows about good haircuts, it's Trump
- (4/21/2017) Not having accomplished anything of note during his first 100 days, Trump decides to tear down what minimal reform Obama achieved via Dodd-Frank, because Fark you, that's why Template:DdfrnkTemplate:Fedreg📎
Tax Inversions[]
when one company buys or merges with another company located in a country with lower tax rates, then shifts headquarters to that new country
DACA[]
Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals or "Dreamers"
- (4/18/2017) The dream is over deportation of Dreamer Juan Manuel MontesTemplate:Deport
- (4/19/2017) USA Today: Poor, struggling young DREAMer who just wanted to go out on a date with his girlfriend is deported. Reality: 23-year-old apprehended by Border Patrol after illegally entering U.S. by climbing over border fence is deported Juan Manuel Montes Bojorquez renewed his status, DHS checked, found that they erred, still deported him Template:Deport
- (4/22/2017) Trump tells Dreamers to relax, he's not after them. Sure, there are stories about Dreamers being deported but that's probably fake news. Why would anyone Hispanic worry about my policies? Template:DeportTemplate:Believe
Keystone XL Pipeline[]
- (4/20/2017) Nebraskan farmers to make the strongest, most compelling case than we've ever heard against Keystone pipeline by pointing out how it may hurt some white people Template:Keypipe
- (4/23/2017) Fox News host interviews Nebraska farmer she's sure will agree with her claims the Keystone XL pipeline will make the U.S. energy independent. That's when he reminded her the oil it transfers isn't from the U.S. Art Tanderup, Nebraska farmerTemplate:Keypipe
TrumpCare[]
TrumpCare Failure[]
Zombie Trumpcare[]
- (4/3/2017) Donald Trump: "I don't lose." Track record: "LOLWUT"
- (4/4/2017) Trump wants new health care bill vote next week. All he needs is a new health care bill
- (4/4/2017) Pence may win over Freedom Caucus members by allowing states to get Obamacare waivers Template:Qpq
- (4/4/2017) Ryan decides that forging ahead with Trumpcare 2.0: Die Faster and More Broker might not such a great idea, considering he's still sitting on an inflatable donut after the last ass-kicking he took on healthcare Template:Legis
- (4/5/2017) Don'tCare 2.0 is DOA since lawmakers are still looking for a cheap butt cream to help with the smarting from last time
- (4/19/2017) Trump wants AHCA vote before the 100 day mark
- (4/20/2017) The GOP's newest "healthcare" plan is out, and it does reflect some major changes - that make it even worse than the first one Template:GoppolRep. Thomas MacArthur (R NJ 3rd) proposed MacArthur Amendment to the American Health Care Act
- (4/21/2017) Words you don't want to describe your health care plan: "Comically bad"
- (4/26/2017) Republican lawmakers fight to preserve Obamacare pre-existing condition protections...for themselves. You? Enjoy your complimentary Ziploc coffin the latest attempt to repeal the ACA contains a provision that exempts members of Congress and their staff👌
- (4/26/2017) House GOP swears that an Obamacare repeal deal is "near". Whoa, hey guys, no need to be racist Template:Stigg
- (4/27/2017) New House Obamacare repeal bill is already flatlining on the Senate EKG unit Template:GoplegTemplate:Stigg
- (4/27/2017) Democratic leaders to the GOP: If you rush a Trumpcare vote we're pulling the government off life support
Planned Parenthood[]
Ending Medicare[]
Privacy Protections[]
Devil's Weed[]
War on Drugs[]
- (4/9/2017) Jeff Sessions is hoping to resurrect the War on Drugs that did so much good in the 80s and 90s Template:Drugw
Minimum Wage[]
Law Enforcement[]
- (4/13/2017) Attorney General Jeff Sessions is worried that not enough Americans are being locked up “I’m saying I’m getting worried we’re not locking more people up.”🚓👮
Mocking Boycott[]
- (4/13/u2017) Trump picks up his son's phone by mistake, tweets anyhow 🌾
Non-Corporate Welfare[]
- (4/13/2017) Trump says he may freeze subsidies to the poor until Democrats repeal Obamacare. Claims voters will blame the Democrats for the ensuing crisis. DO IT 🐆Template:Stigg⚠
Greece Bailout[]
- (4/13/2017) IMF still hasn't joined the Greece bailout. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE Template:Greece
Minority Religions[]
Wiccans[]
- (4/11/2017) Liberal witches worldwide are binding Trump with Satanic curses. Look what they've already done to Bannon
- (4/20/2017) The real reason there's so much political corruption in D.C.? Too many witches and gays
Voter suppression[]
- (4/11/2017) Remember when Alabama closed DMVs in mostly black areas just as the state was rolling out voter ID? It turns out the governor's mistress was behind it mistress/governor's aide Rebekah MasonTemplate:Voter👙Template:Qpq
Astroturf Rally[]
- (4/15/2017) Another slap fight at the UCal Corral 💥Template:Astro
Indigenous Americans[]
- (4/17/2017) Remember when killing Native Americans wasn't murder? 💥
Scapegoat Muslims[]
- (4/17/2017) You are a candidate for NYC mayor, and you owe the state $500k taxes. Do you c) blame Muslims for your predicament? 👟Template:Goat
Education Funding[]
Apologist for Racist, Sexist Elected Official[]
- (4/19/2017) Joni Ernst castrates another pig Template:TownhTemplate:Apol
Racist, Sexist Elected Official[]
- (4/19/2017) Florida Man, Florida Man, talks just like a Republican Template:Joke
Charities[]
Net Neutrality[]
- (4/19/2017) Republicans celebrate the death of Net Neutrality by knifing public libraries in the kidney and pushing them onto the "slow lane" tracks Template:BiblioTemplate:Public
Hillary Derangement Syndrome[]
- (4/20/2017) Liberal's favorite conservative columnist calls Black people lazy and shiftless, unlike those hard working Asians. Oh lawds Andrew Sullivan's article in New York MagazineTemplate:Wfbuck
Misogyny[]
Kentucky Governor's Medicare "reform" program[]
- (4/24/2017) Matt Bevin (R-ewards Program) wants to combine the worst parts of loyalty cards, healthcare, and the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice. Paul Ryan and Donald Trump both seen making notes Bevin's Medicaid reform would cut benefits, charge low-income recipients monthly premiums and co-payments for services while making them jump through hoops to earn health coverage points; failure to pay premiums or "inappropriate" use of emergency rooms would result in loss of "points" or servicesTemplate:WagerTemplate:GoppolTemplate:Goalp🐆Template:Stigg
Petty & Spiteful[]
The Economy[]
"Budget"[]
- (4/5/2017) Yertle will be stunned to learn voters don't want a government shutdown
- (4/5/2017) Trump budget slashes EPA emissions and gas mileage testing budget by 99 percent. Time to buy some VW stock
Deficit[]
Inflation[]
The Dow[]
- (4/4/2017) Wall Street bracing for when Trump goes to eleven 💣
- (4/13/2017) Wall Street is not too keen on Trump and his foot in mouth disease
- (4/13/2017) Global economy slumps as Trump proclaims the US dollar is too strong and China is super awesome happy funtime
Trade[]
- (4/4/2017) "NAFTA could be Trump's next Obamacare." So, another bipartisan humiliating loss?
- (4/6/2017) Trump closes the door, China opens the window
- (4/10/2017) China, perhaps worried that President Trump is crazy enough to tank the global economy to achieve his agenda, will offer the Trump administration better market access for financial sector investments and U.S. beef exports to help avert a trade war
- (4/10/2017) -pation
NAFTA[]
- (4/4/2017) Begun the great cornholio war has
- (4/26/2017) Not content with starting a trade war with Canada, Trump doubles down and appears to be working on an Executive Order to withdraw the US from NAFTA. Of course, since Congress has final say on trade agreements, the EO is really just for show Template:Goptrd
- (4/27/2017) Trump: we're pulling out of NAFTA Template:GoptrdTemplate:Eh
- (4/27/2017) Trump: we won't pull out of NAFTA Template:GoptrdTemplate:Eh
- (4/27/2017) Trump: doesn't know what NAFTA is
- (4/27/2017) Trump: we won't pull out of NAFTA Template:GoptrdTemplate:Eh
National Debt[]
- (4/25/2017) Trump wants to balloon the national debt, and the Republicans will not only rubber stamp it, they'll blame it on the Democrats...who have no actual power to do or prevent any of this shiat Template:DebtTemplate:StiggTemplate:Gopmp
Job Creator[]
Fiddling with Regulations[]
"Cost cutting" measures[]
Infrastructure[]
Tax Policy[]
Abolish Taxes[]
Tax Cuts[]
Tax "Reform"[]
- (4/4/2017) Trump says he wants to do tax reform. Trouble is, there's nobody at Treasury to actually do it 📎
- (4/15/2017) Mitch McConnell says "hopefully" tax reform will pass this year. After that, Congress can "hopefully" get back to work on the failed border wall, health care, travel ban, beating ISIS, the infrastructure, jobs 📎
- (4/18/2017) Oops. The Huffington Post accidentally destroys the 'Tax Fairness' argument 🌾
- (4/20/2017) The tax reform deadline just slipped by the GOP Template:Gopgov📎
- (4/25/2017) Trump wants to balloon the national debt, and the Republicans will not only rubber stamp it, they'll blame it on the Democrats...who have no actual power to do or prevent any of this shiat Template:DebtTemplate:StiggTemplate:Gopmp
GOP Feud[]
Not Working With Others[]
Cap on Charitably Donations[]
Regulate Internet Content[]
- (4/18/2017) It is high time for Facebook to take a stand and put an end to this madness that is not being able to predict who is going to live stream bad things on the internet Template:1stTemplate:Goat
FCC Regulation Changes[]
- (4/20/2017) Here's a full list of the accomplishments of Ajit Pai's FCC in only 90 days Template:Fedreg
- (4/26/2017) R.I.P. Net Neutrality: born February 26, 2015, deceased May 18, 2017
H-1B Changes[]
- (4/18/2017) For some reason, Silicon Valley decided to make the Right's "paid protester" lie come true Template:H1b
Trade War with Canada[]
- (4/19/2017) Trump targets Canada and its dairy industry. And then he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer Template:Eh
US Tourism Industry[]
- (4/19/2017) Homeland Security wants to further crater the US tourism industry while making it harder for Americans to travel through Europe 😛Template:Ref
Cost of Higher Education[]
Florida's Medicaid "reform"[]
- (4/27/2017) Legislature considering bill to add work requirement for Medicaid recipients, because if you're poor, disabled, or elderly, be thankful we're not making you pee in a cup for healthcare within the larger Statewide Medicaid Managed Care Program (HB 7117)Template:Goalp
Embarrassing & Stupid[]
Stupidity[]
- (4/2/2017) Well bye Template:Trff
- (4/3/2017) Trump: The US is ready to act alone on North Korea if necessary. China: You pull some shiat that results in our eastern border being overrun with millions of starving, frightened, and uneducated refugees and we are gonna have "a problem", monkey-boy 💣
- (4/4/2017) It's almost 100 days since Trump took over as President. Let's take a look at his record so far... oh boy. Bonus: At meeting with Germans, he displayed so little knowledge of anything that they concluded that Ivanka was the more helpful of the two Template:Rev
- (4/5/2017) Ivanka Trump: "I don't know the meaning of the word 'complicit.'" Merriam-Webster: "HOLD MY FLAGON OF ALE I GOT THIS"
- (4/5/2017) Some of the bids for Trump's Mexico border wall include plans for a tourist balcony
- (4/5/2017) Trump: "No one knew Syria would be this bad. No one" ⚛
- (4/6/2017) BREAKING: CNN reports that Trump says "Something should happen" regarding Assad and Syria. Seriously, this was breaking news on CNN
- (4/10/2017) Trump BLM: I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part Template:Bolm
- (4/10/2017) Trump finds his niche: fixing problems that no longer exist Template:Wk
- (4/11/2017) Trump vexed by Syria's motivation to use chemical weapons. One theory Trump had was that a rogue Iranian agent had done it to sabotage the possibility of a U.S.-Russia-Assad alliance that could isolate Tehran. Wait....WHAT? ⚛
- (4/12/2017) Trump seems to think "Armadas" are still a thing the Navy has. Also doesn't seem to be aware of what happened to the most famous naval force bearing that designation US Navy Carl Vinson Carrier Strike Group (CSG) being deployed💣😺
- (4/21/2017) Mike Pence says he went outside to look at the North Koreans on the other side of the DMZ so they could "see the resolve in my face" Template:Weak
- (4/15/2017) Putin's is bigger than Trump's the FAOB (Father of All Bombs), or Aviation Thermobaric Bomb of Increased Power allegedly weighs 15,560 lbs, carries 44 tons of TNT and four times stronger than the US MOABTemplate:Dick
- (4/19/2017) Russia claims it can wipe out US Navy with a single electronic bomb. Huh, apparently they've managed to weaponize Skrillex Russian Electronic Warfare (REW) allegedly can detect and neutralize any target from a ship’s system, radar, to a satelliteTemplate:Dick
- (4/18/2017) Come for the upcoming incompetence crisis, stay for the writer's break down as of April 7, 2017, only 22 of 553 positions requiring Senate confirmation have been filled
- (4/21/2017) This might shock you, but in Trump's White House there is no clear chain of command as no one knows who's really in charge Template:Gopgov
- (4/21/2017) Trump lawyers argue that protesting violates Donald Trump's First Amendment right not to hear dissenting views, citing 5 USC § 6103 establishing today as Opposite Day Template:Snow🐑👑
- (4/24/2017) Trump uses Melania's speechwriter Never Again becomes Oops I did it again Template:ShoahTemplate:Plagia
- (4/25/2017) Is the Senate dragging its feet investigating Russia and the election? Template:Drag
- (4/25/2017) The media bubble is real and terrifying 📰🐑
- (4/26/2017) Trump's plan for tax reform may kill the idea before it even gets started. *high five* 📎
- (4/26/2017) Trump again vows to take the court to court US District Judge William Orrick III blocked Trump's executive order withholding federal funds from sanctuary citiesTemplate:Goppol
- (4/26/2017) Not content with starting a trade war with Canada, Trump doubles down and appears to be working on an Executive Order to withdraw the US from NAFTA. Of course, since Congress has final say on trade agreements, the EO is really just for show Template:Goptrd
- (4/27/2017) Trump: we're pulling out of NAFTA Template:GoptrdTemplate:Eh
- (4/27/2017) Trump: we won't pull out of NAFTA Template:GoptrdTemplate:Eh
- (4/27/2017) Trump: doesn't know what NAFTA is
- (4/27/2017) Trump: we won't pull out of NAFTA Template:GoptrdTemplate:Eh
General Decision Making[]
- (4/14/2017) Wanna change Trump's mind on something? That's easy, just be sure that you're the last person that talks to him Template:Last
- (4/14/2017) NPR tries to understand Trump's shifting positions. Well, Trump has no core beliefs other than "how does this help Trump" which means, as previously mentioned numerous times over the last 18 months, who the fark knows what Trump'll do? 🔁💣
- (4/15/2017) Don't say he's a hypocrite, just say he's "flexible" 🔁💣🌅
- (4/27/2017) Trump staffers no longer trust him to make the right decision when presented with a weak option, an extreme one and a middle of the road option, so they will only present him with their preferred option to avoid catastrophe Template:Last
Coward[]
- (4/8/2017) There must be someway outta here said the joker to the thief. there's too much confusion, I can't get no relief ⚪
- (4/12/2017) Problem: White House gets grilled by traditional press during press briefings. Solution: White House opens press briefings via Skype to Trump-friendly non-reporters. Ta da
- (4/22/2017) Trump to hold rally on night of correspondents dinner because that'll make Trump feel better and then nobody will watch it on TV mainly because it's not broadcast. That'll fix 'em Template:Astro
Meglomania, Jingoism[]
- (4/1/2017) That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works 👑
- (4/3/2017) Side effects of states legalizing weed may include: Writing articles saying that Donald Trump won due to his attractiveness Jan-Erik Lonnqvist, professor of social psychology, University of Helsinki
- (4/3/2017) Trump's donation to the National Park Service will at least keep the parks open for the people who lost their Meals On Wheels to hunt in 🌅
- (4/4/2017) "See kids? This is what people a hundred years ago in 2017 were like. You know...morons"
- (4/10/2017) Twenty-one tweets Trump made that he really should regret
- (4/10/2017) Trump's personal helicopter landing at Mar-a-Lago raises questions. Fark: by Fox News
- (4/10/2017) Trump finds his niche: fixing problems that no longer exist Template:Wk
- (4/10/2017) Ever wonder why Trump keeps doing the opposite of what he says he'll do? If you voted for him, you probably don't care 💣
- (4/11/2017) White House grapples with how to sell Trump's first 100 days. Yuuuuge branding suggestions to the right
- (4/11/2017) Trump administration STILL has hundreds of unfilled positions because of backbiting, inexperience, and sheer exhaustion from being overworked. But don't worry, these guys will do great in an emergency Template:Micro
Not Being A Good Ally To ...[]
Canada[]
- (4/20/2017) In today's edition of "What Country will President Trump Insult and Offend Today" the wheel of countries lands on Canada Template:EhTemplate:Weak😛
Re-election[]
Honors and Awards[]
Nobel Peace Prize[]
Crowdsource Government[]
Crowdsource Reorganization of Executive Branch
- (4/13/2017) You, too, can help reorganize the Executive Branch of government. Bonus: not only do you get to select what departments to reform or eliminate, but you can write in your own helpful suggestions; something no doubt Farkers will take seriously Comprehensive Plan for Reorganizing the Executive Branch
The President's Address to Congress[]
FLOTUS BS[]
- (4/3/2017) White House releases official portrait of the First Lady, by master artist Air Brush (Not safe for work images on page)
- (4/5/2017) Liberals running out of stuff to whine about
- (4/5/2017) Ivanka Trump: "I don't know the meaning of the word 'complicit.'" Merriam-Webster: "HOLD MY FLAGON OF ALE I GOT THIS"
- (4/5/2017) Bannon's demotion only means one thing; the Trump kids are taking over
- (4/6/2017) Donald Trump, whenever he needs to be calmed down or made to feel proud of his accomplishments 🍼
- (4/6/2017) Even the New York Times has trouble figuring out the relationship between Donald Trump and Ivanka
- (4/17/2017) Move over Adele Dazeem and Jay-Z's baby-momma: Trump hired a circus family working out of an RV as the entertainment for this year's Easter Egg Roll Martin Family CircusTemplate:EastrTemplate:Trad
- (4/16/2017) Melania and Barron are moving to the White House, mostly so Barron can take over when Jared is off skiing Template:White🌅
- (4/22/2017) Subby will admit to stopping feeling sorry for Melania at $52M a year to keep her in New York instead of the White House, but, I can see how a piece in Vanity Fair could be sympathetic to a woman past her "checkout time" in Trump years 🌅Template:White
- (4/23/2017) They say Melania is frosty with Ivanka. Well, nobody likes romantic competition from an old flame Template:Mans
- (4/25/2017) Germany: Why is our leader meeting with the mistress of some NYC flim flam artist? Merkel invited Ivanka to the Women20 summit, an international event that aims to "promote women's economic empowerment"
- (4/27/2017) Trump creates a new hotline to report crimes committed by aliens. The internet responds 1-855-48-VOICE (86423)
Staff[]
Stephanie Grisham[]
First Lady’s communications director, former White House spokeswoman
- (4/17/2017) Move over Adele Dazeem and Jay-Z's baby-momma: Trump hired a circus family working out of an RV as the entertainment for this year's Easter Egg Roll Martin Family CircusTemplate:EastrTemplate:Trad
Lindsay Reynolds[]
First Lady’s chief of staff, former associate director of the White House Visitors Office, Bush, Jr.
- (4/17/2017) Move over Adele Dazeem and Jay-Z's baby-momma: Trump hired a circus family working out of an RV as the entertainment for this year's Easter Egg Roll Martin Family CircusTemplate:EastrTemplate:Trad
Child Care[]
Finding Jesus[]
Thou Shall Have No Other Gods Before Me[]
- (4/18/2017) Words fail me
The Lord is My Shepherd[]
Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged[]
If A Man Will Not Work, He Shall Not Eat[]
Ye Shall Know Them By Their Fruits[]
Render Unto Caesar That Which Is Caesar's[]
- (4/20/2017) Freedom FROM Religion vs. Freedom OF Religion Template:Trinity Lutheran Church v. ComeTemplate:Ch st
- (4/23/2017) How to prevent the inevitable showdown between Church and State an argument for dismissing Trinity Lutheran Church of Columbia v. ComerTemplate:Ch st🐑
Physical Health of the President[]
- (4/3/2017) Oh look, Trump spent another weekend of golfing. That's so unusual for a man who hates it when presidents golf Template:Golf
- (4/3/2017) Rand Paul (R-KY) wore a Duke hat while going golfing with Trump. Duke Sucks Template:Golf
- (4/4/2017) Does someone want to explain why the hell foreign leaders are meeting the goddamn president at his goddamn private resort in goddamn Florida instead of the goddamn White House? Goddammit Template:Golf
- (4/6/2017) Trump does more in two months than two YEARS of Obama Template:Golf
- (4/9/2017) What's the difference between Trump & Tiger Woods? Trump played golf this weekend Template:Golf
- (4/10/2017) Trump has already spent almost double Obama's annual travel budget. "If Trump keeps up the current pace of trips, he could spend $60 million in taxpayer cash solely to visit Mar-a-Lago this year"
- (4/17/2017) In what is totally not a conflict of interests, Trump is seemingly splitting his time between two jobs: serving as president of the United States and acting as owner/host of Mar-a-Lago
- (4/17/2017) Trump: 14 - Obama: 0 Template:Golf
- (4/21/2017) Whiny liberal MSM media still complaining about the "excessive costs" of Trump's weekend getaways. Wait, it's the Washington Examiner? Oh dear Template:WhiteTemplate:Golf
- (4/22/2017) A look at the travel cost of Trump's 100 days ... 25 of which were spent in Mar-a-Lago Template:White
- (4/24/2017) Why is Ivanka needing to hold Donnie's hand when he calls the space station? Dementia or afraid he is going to sexually harass a lady astronaut? Template:Weak
- (4/23/2017) Trump 3 months ago: Oh, the first 100 days I'll get so much done you just won't believe it. There'll be so much winning. Trump now: The first 100 days? Really kind of meaningless when you think about it Template:Aspd
- (4/24/2017) Your Presidential quote of the day: "I gave Face the Nation highest ratings since the World Trade Center came down" 📰
- (4/24/2017) AP releases transcript of their latest Trump interview. Come for the early onset Alzheimer's, stay for the early onset Alzheimer's. While we're on the topic, did you hear the AP released the transcript of their latest Trump interview? 💣
- (4/26/2017) God help us all if this is an exercise to prepare Trump for the real thing
- (4/26/2017) Colbert gives us a rundown of Trump's first hundred days Template:Dstc
Illiterate[]
Banned books[]
- (4/4/2017) Necronomicon smuggled out of North Korea "The Accusation; Forbidden Stories from Inside North Korea" written by "Bandi", the Korean word for fireflyTemplate:Book
Net neutrality[]
- (4/7/2017) And while everyone is paying attention to Syria, the head of the FCC is busily working to fast-track an end to Net Neutrality
- (4/12/2017) Second rate Bond villain, FCC chairman Ajit Pai's plan to kill net neutrality will also completely destroy internet privacy. Are you tired of #winning yet?
- (4/26/2017) R.I.P. Net Neutrality: born February 26, 2015, deceased May 18, 2017
UK State Visit[]
- (4/15/2017) Trump demands that he get the use of Queen Elizabeth's golden carriage. There's a joke in there somewhere 👑
2020 Election[]
- (4/17/2017) With only roughly 1000 days until the Iowa Caucases, it's high time we get a look at possible nominees for the Democratic presidential candidate 2020 edition. OK dammit, I'm sick, I need help. I see that now Template:2020e🌾
Conspiracies[]
- (4/5/2017) Sandy Hook school board asks Donald Trump to denounce truthers that claim the attack never happened, or was a false flag operation, particularly his long time ally, Alex Jones. Trump: crickets 🙈
- (4/5/2017) Donald Trump says Susan Rice might have broken the law. Wow. This must be true because Trump never lies, right? .... Why are you guys laughing at me? Did I say something funny? Template:Oc4.1
- (4/6/2017) Jeffrey Lord tries to invent new conspiracy theory over Susan Rice, forcing Anderson Cooper to hold back gales of laughter even as the alien whose forehead grew like a mighty oak kept pressing on with his insanity Template:Oc4.1
- (4/6/2017) Ron Paul: 'Zero chance' Assad is behind the 'false flag' chemical attack in Syria. Now buy some overpriced gold from me ⚛Template:Kskhn
- (4/3/2017) This is the face of evil. Or maybe it's the face of stupid. Either way, it's the face of someone who skipped court after sending death threats to the parent of a Sandy Hook victim 💥
- (4/11/2017) Now would be a great time to verify if those two North Korean 'weather satellites' hanging over the continental United States aren't EMPs. Just sayin'
- (4/11/2017) It's only a matter of time before we get a "Why is USA planting fake weapons in Syria thanks to Dems and corrupt Fake Media WE MUST STOP THEM" tweet ⚛
- (4/11/2017) Liberal witches worldwide are binding Trump with Satanic curses. Look what they've already done to Bannon
- (4/12/2017) The more they look at Trump, the more they see an independent patriot Template:Oc2.2🏪
Alex Jones Custody Hearing[]
- (4/17/2017) Hate buffet of conspiracy theories Alex Jones is just "playing a character," claims his attorney, who tried to defend his client's bigotry in a custody hearing over his three children attorney, Randall WilhiteTemplate:Act
- (4/19/2017) Wait...Alex Jones is an actor? Actually, he's not the only one. See how much the rest of the right-wing blowhards believe their own shtick, according to fill-in right wing blowhard
- (4/20/2017) Doctor claims hate buffet Alex Jones is not an asshole; he just has narcissistic personality disorder Template:Apol
- (4/18/2017) Ever seen a picture of Alex Jones? He often strips naked to show an example of super male virility
- (4/19/2017) Alex Jones' ex-wife's lawyer says Jones forgot about his kids because he 'had a big bowl of chili for lunch.' To be fair, recharging is an important task when your whole job consists of blowing hot air out of your ass
- (4/20/2017) One of Trump's most trusted sources now says that his weed is too strong and it's George Soros' fault
- (4/21/2017) You mean like how you asked for your listeners to be respectful and understanding of the Sandy Hook victims? 🐑Template:SnowTemplate:Hypo
- (4/24/2017) It's the gift that keeps on giving nightmare fuel: in divorce proceedings, Alex Jones claims that by the age of 16 "I'd already had over 150 women" Template:Trainw
- (4/27/2017) Hate buffet and unhinged conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is convinced George Soros took control of 183 new entities this year and his InfoWars viewers believe it. No word if Jones thinks his wife and kids are under Soros's control Template:Crack
Trump Tower Tapp[]
"Terror"[]
Unsupported Voter Fraud Accusations[]
We Get It He's Black[]
- (4/4/2017) Rice used the intelligence community as her own private political spy agency Template:Oc1.2
- (4/12/2017) Both Democrats and Republicans agree: Devin Nunes is full of so much crap, they actually can get along long enough to say so Template:BipTemplate:Oc4.1
- (4/4/2017) Trump keeps making stuff up hoping Americans won't notice that that he's a traitor working for the Russians, a Manchurian Candidate, if you will. I guess now he's the Manchurian Elected Puppet Template:Oc1.3
B-b-but, her emails![]
Scandals[]
Alabama's Luv Gov[]
- (4/7/2017) Disgraced Alabama governor Robert Bentley, who was all about family values, begs prosecutors not to release more lurid details of his sexual trysts 👙
- (4/9/2017) Impeachment proceedings to begin very soon
- (4/10/2017) Alabama Governor resigns to spend more time with his mistress 👙
- (4/11/2017) And here are the text messages disgraced Alabama Governor Robert Bentley (R-omantic) sent his staffer/mistress 👙
- (4/11/2017) Remember when Alabama closed DMVs in mostly black areas just as the state was rolling out voter ID? It turns out the governor's mistress was behind it mistress/governor's aide Rebekah Caldwell MasonTemplate:Voter👙Template:Qpq
- (4/12/2017) "Being sound on the fundamentals depends on what the evangelical community has decided the fundamentals have become. At this time, what is fundamental is hating liberals, hating Obama, hating abortion and hating same-sex marriage" Template:StiggTemplate:Ch st
- (4/12/2017) Hell hath no fury like a scorned politician's wife, right Robert Bentley? 👙
- (4/11/2017) Remember when Alabama closed DMVs in mostly black areas just as the state was rolling out voter ID? It turns out the governor's mistress was behind it mistress/governor's aide Rebekah MasonTemplate:Voter👙Template:Qpq
- (4/16/2017) Here's how a political neophyte with a penchant for casual lying, infidelity, projection, paranoia, and a general disconnect from reality finally was removed from office. No, not that one 👙Template:Fall
former state Rep. Cindy Gamrat (R, MI, 80th)[]
- (4/11/2017) So much for personal responsibility: expelled Michigan tea party representative sues state government, ex-husband for fallout over her affair with fellow tea partier cheated on husband with former Rep. Todd Courser (R, MI, 82nd)👙
Fallout from Bill O'Reilly Sex Scandal[]
- (4/3/2017) There are signs that Fox may have a contingency plan to throw Bill-O under the bus 👙
- (4/5/2017) As Bill O'Reilly begins to rack up Cosby-like numbers, now is of course the perfect time for the Grabber-In-Chief to stand by his fellow "good person" 👙📢Template:Loya
- (4/5/2017) 31 ... 32 ... 33. 33 advertisers have now pulled advertising from The O'Reilly Factor. Ah ah ah ah Template:Boyc👙📢
- (4/6/2017) Trump spits in the faces of conservative women. No word if this is before or after he grabs them by the pussy 📢
- (4/4/2017) Nothing says you're a feminist like defending Roger Ailes in his latest harassment suit 👙
- (4/8/2017) The shrinking of Bill O'Reilly 📢Template:Consq
- (4/9/2017) There is a dark side to all those advertisers leaving The O'Reilly Factor 📢
- (4/10/2017) After the latest round of sexual harassment allegations, Bill O'Reilly's ratings have soared. Can't explain that 📢👙
- (4/12/2017) Bill O'Reilly announces he's taking a pre-planned vacation 📢👙Template:Timfam
- (4/13/2017) "Bill O'Reilly. Good Catholic?" A discussion of hypocrisy as it is practiced on America's favorite network for alternative news 📢Template:Relig
- (4/19/2017) O'Reillexit Template:Retire📢
- (4/19/2017) Bill O'Reilly has left Fox News to spend more time with your wife 📢Template:Retire
- (4/20/2017) Fox News staffers worry that O'Reilly's departure is just the beginning, unintentionally admitting that there are other sexual predators at Fox News 👙Template:Boys
- (4/21/2017) Revisiting Bill O'Reilly's novel about a newsman's revenge murder spree after losing a high-profile TV job 📢
Brian McDowell[]
former "The Apprentice" contestant, GOP candidate New Jersey General Assembly, district 1
- (4/14/2017) GOP pulls support for candidate after video surfaces of him propositioning a woman, telling her she should fark him. He insists he won't withdraw over a mistake, after all, even Jesus dropped the cross 3 times 👙👟
Sex on the Beach[]
- (4/20/2017) Couple accused of having sex on the beach in front of Trump's Mar-A-Lago resort Coast Guard spotted found Chloe Exiner, 20 of Illinois on top of Daniel Dolan, 19, of Pennsylvania behind a tree on Bingham Island, Palm Beach "bouncing up and down in a lewd and sexual manner"👙
Lumpy McGroperson[]
- (4/24/2017) Is Lumpy next in line to take his lumps? Fox guest says anchor tried to pressure her into hotel room sex 👙